She had experienced his gigantic, not-to-be-denied, surge toward Space before she had Slept him, and knew it for the unquenchable fire it was.
Of course by the time we finally reduced to vocal words, most of the explanations had been made-the incredulity expressed, the reprimands given, and the repentance completed-but the problem of Tom was still unanswered.
“The simplest way, of course,” said Remy, “is just to write ‘finis’ to the whole thing, wake Tom up, and then hold his funeral.”
“Yes,” said Father. “That would be the simplest.”
“Of course, Mother and Shadow will have to be ready to Channel instantly to bypass that agonized moment when Tom realizes he has been betrayed.” Remy was inspecting his jagged thumbnail and didn’t meet Father’s eyes.
“Bethie, what do you think?” Father turned to Mother.
She blushed pinkly-that’s where I get my too-ready coloring up-and murmured, “I think we ought to look at the ship at least,” she said. “Maybe that would help us decide, especially if we have Ron look it over, too.”
“Okay, tomorrow.” Father parted the curtain at the big window. “Today.” He amended as he blinked at the steely gray light of dawn. “Today we’ll get in touch with him and take a look. After all, the ship is finished.” And he turned away with a sigh, only a faint quirk at the corner of his mouth to betray the fact that he knew Remy and I were having a hard time containing our jubilation.
After lunch-even our frantic impatience couldn’t pry Mother and Father away from what seemed such minor matters-Ron finally arrived and we all went out to took the ship over. Remy and I streaked on ahead of the others and I laughed as I caught myself visualizing me dusting the ship frantically from end to end so it’d look its best for our visitors.
There it was! The shaft at least, with the concealing shale and rock shed away on all sides. When we arrived above it, we could see the gleam of the nose of the ship. In all the excitement the night before, we had forgotten to conceal it. But it didn’t matter now. Soon that bright nose would be lifting! Remy and I turned joyous somersaults as we shot down to the old shack.
The men I include Remy in that-were like a hunch of kids with a new toy. They toured the ship, their eyes eager and seeking, their manner carefully casual, their hands touching and drinking in the wonder of it. A spacecraft! Remy’s replies to their questions were clipped and practically monosyllabic. His containment surprised me and I wondered if this was a foretaste of what he’d be like as an adult. Of course, Ron’s being there-the head Motiver of the Group-may have awed him a little, but it wasn’t awe in his eyes, it was assurance. He knew the ship.
Mother took advantage of the preoccupation of the men to get in touch with Valancy and, through her, with Dr. Curtis, who hadn’t gone back Outside yet. I suppose they discussed Tom’s condition and what-if anything-could be done for him. Mother was sitting near a wall of the fuel room, to all appearances, daydreaming.
So again I was a Shadow. Not a part of the inspection team-not meshed with Mother. I sighed and wandered over to the fuel box where it sat lonesomely in the middle of the floor. I lay down on my stomach beside it and looked at the shining upper surface. It reflected softly the light in the room, but the reflection seemed to come from deeper into the box than just the upper surface. It had depth to it. It was like looking at the moon. I have never quite believed that the light of the moon is just a reflection of the sun, especially a full moon when the light seems to have such depth, such dimension. And now-and now-if the ship were found spaceworthy, we’d be able to see firsthand if the moon had any glowing of its own.
I caught my own eyes shadowed in the surface and thought, We’ll be going up and up and more up than anyone has ever been before-lifting, soaring, rising—
Mother cried out. Everything shook and moved and there was a grinding, grating sound. I heard the men shout from somewhere in the ship. Frightened, I rolled away from the fuel box and cried, “Mother!”
There was another scraping sound that shook the ship, and then a crunching thud. For a half second there was silence and then a clatter of feet as the men rushed into the fuel room, and Father, seeing us unhurt, was demanding, “Who lifted the ship!”
“Lifted the ship?” Remy’s jaw was ajar. Father’s eyes stabbed him. “Did you, Remy?”
“I was with you!” Remy protested.
“Bethie?”
Mother colored deeply and her eyes drifted shyly away from the sternness of Father’s face. “No,” she said, “I’m not a Motiver. I was talking with Valancy.”
I scrambled to my feet, my eyes wide, my color rising as Mother’s had. “Father, I’ll bet I did it!”
“You bet you did it?” Father was annoyed. “Don’t you know?”
“I’m-“I’m not sure,” I said. “You know I’m not even as much a Motiver as Mother is. I still have to struggle to lift the pickup, but-but I was looking at the fuel box and thinking. Father, I’ll try it again. You and Ron had better stand by, just in case.”
I lay down beside the box again, my eyes intent on the surface, and consciously lifted with all my might.
There was no grinding, grating this time. There was a shriek of metal on stone, a gasp from Mother as her knees buckled under the sudden upthrust, and Father’s voice came clear and commanding, “Let go, Shadow. I’ve got it.”
Light was streaming into the ship from windows we’d hardly noticed before. We all exchanged astonished looks then rushed to look out. We were hovering above the Selkirk-hundreds of feet above the gaping shaft visible off to one side. The scraping on its walls had thrown us sideways.
Father turned to Ron and said, “Take over and maintain, will you?” Then he knelt beside the little box, prodding it with his fingers, smoothing it with his palm. Then he said, “Release to me,” and, kneeling there, he brought the nose of the ship down so we lay horizontal to the ground. We all started sliding down as the floor slanted, but we lifted and waited until a wall became a floor, then Father moved the ship to an open flat below the Selkirk and brought it down gently on its side.
We all gathered around him as he stood looking at the box that was now head-high on the wall. We all looked
