“We got dressed after that, and then went upstairs and had cokes. Then I went home. Dolores is lucky to have a brother who likes to do that to her. It must be nice. I think they do it a couple times a week sometimes.
“But now I have to tell about what happened afterwards. Dad and Mom have never been strict, and I never went to church much or anything, but I always thought that sex was what married people did to have babies and stuff. I guess I thought that way because of what they said in health class in school, which was just the way Mom and Dad talked. Mom told me all about the birds and bees stuff when I was about eleven. I guess I know quite a bit about it. But they never mentioned any-filing about doing it in the rear end. It bothered me that I couldn't talk to Mom about it. You can just imagine that! Anyhow, after that I thought about it and thought about it, and I decided that there was something wrong. I couldn't have a baby that way, of course, and I couldn't hurt anybody but myself, but it was dirty. It was indecent and dirty. And it was also queer. I didn't want to be queer. I didn't know much about them, but I knew that I didn't want to be that way.
“Quite a bit of time passed before I did it again. I didn't see Dick and Dolores again. I kept avoiding them at school and started going with other kids. I guess they thought it was kind of funny, and that I was mad at them or something. But I wasn't. I just didn't want to do that stuff anymore. I'm supposed to be Catholic, although I haven't been to Mass since I was confirmed, and Mom and Dad don't go to church at all and don't even believe in religious stuff. I thought a little about going to a priest for confession, but how the heck could I tell him that I'm practicing sodomy. That's what they call it. I just couldn't do it. So I just said to hell with it. I won't go to a priest or anything, but I'll stop this cornholing stuff, too. And I did, at least for a while.
“Then one time we had a party at my house for kids. I was seventeen then. It was for graduation, and us kids danced and all that stuff. There was this boy there. His name was Freddy. He was a quiet boy, around eighteen, I guess, and he didn't goof around as much as the others did. Mostly he seemed to be by himself at the party even though he was pretty tall and good-looking. Mom liked him. He was what she called a 'nice, clean-cut young man,' and she'd been wanting me to go out with him. He wore sideburns, but he was almost the only boy at the party with short hair and a clean-shaven face. He was sort of square. The other kids snickered at him because he didn't smoke pot. In fact, he didn't smoke at all. He dated girls sometimes because, like I say, he was sort of good- looking, but he wasn't exactly what you call popular because all the popular kids are on grass and speed and stuff.
“'Would you like to go to a drive-in movie?' he asked me. He was sort of shy.
“'Okay,' I said, 'but it has to be on a weekend because Mom won't let me go out on school nights.'
“'Friday?'
“'Sure.'
“Freddy just beamed. He danced with me several times that night, and he was pretty good, too. I caught him admiring my legs as I was whirling with my skirt flying. My legs are one of my best points, that and my bumps, which are pretty, firm and pointy, and my bottom, which sort of sticks out and is very round.
“The night of the date, Freddy drove us down the lane leading to the drive-in, past the ticket booth and into the car park. Most of the cars had kids in them who were paying more attention to necking with each other than to the movie. Freddy fastened the audio thing on the driver's window, and then disappeared. He came back with two cokes and two big cartons of hot buttered popcorn. I just love that.
“We settled down in the seat of the car and snuggled. I could feel him pressing against me; he was strong, and it was sort of exciting. Then I felt his arm around my shoulder, and I thought, Aha! I think he's got ideas. But, of course, that's why all the kids go to the drive-in. It's for necking. Well, I can handle Freddy, I thought to myself. I thought of brushing his arm away, but then thought what the hell for. A little necking is okay. I'm sure as hell not going to go all the way. I was sort of curious, because while I'd been on dates before it was usually with a bunch of people and we didn't really do any serious necking, just kidding around. I wondered what he'd do next. Then I felt his fingers begin fooling around with my breasts. It was sort of nice. I thought I ought to stop him, but I was enjoying it. He snuggled real close, and I felt his hand slip down under my dress and work under my bra, very gently, and massage my breast.
“I thought I really ought to stop him. Enough was enough. But it was sort of pleasant. I figured I could stop him any time. I wouldn't let him go too far. So I just relaxed in his arms and let him fondle me. It was nice, why worry. All the kids did it. Stupid to wait for marriage and all that crap. Dumb. It is only fun when you're young. The real fun is when you're fresh and free, and it's all exciting and everything. Look at Mom and Dad. I don't think they do it much anymore. I wished, though that I was on the pill. I sure as hell didn't want to get in a family way. I felt strange and giddy, and dizzy, as though I was just drifting along in real quiet water in a canoe. It was nice. The feel of his hand on my breast was beautiful. I just loved it. I must be supersensitive. I didn't want to think or try to figure anything out, or wonder whether it was wrong or what would happen. I just wanted to drift along with this beautiful thing, and just let it all happen, anything! I just melted, cuddled close, and surrendered to the softness of his hand on my breast. I loved it. It was so good. All my early resolutions just disappeared, poof! Then I felt his hand sliding up my thigh under my mini. He kissed me, first on the top of my head, through my hair, then on my cheek, and then grabbed me to him hard, and so fierce that it hurt, and smashed his lips against mine and just crushed me. And, as my lips parted, I felt his tongue slide between my teeth and into my mouth. It was really wild, just wild, unbelievable. I wanted him now. He could have me because I didn't care. He hugged me close and just threw his arms around me and crushed me.
“'Oh-h-h-h-h-h, Freddy!' I gasped. 'Please.'
“'Want to?'
“'Yes-s-s-s-s-s-s!' I closed my eyes, breathing hard. There was a lump in my throat. I felt his hand sliding up my skirt. I wanted him to undress me and just do it and do it and do it to me. I felt him fumbling in his pocket, and it annoyed me. I wanted him to get on with it.
“'Oh, shit!' he said with a snarl in his voice. 'I didn't bring any rubbers.' Then he asked, 'I suppose you're not on the pill?'
“'No, Freddy, I'm sorry.' I thought it was nice of him to be so considerate, and I just loved him for it, because he could have had me anyway.
“'I won't without a rubber,' he said in this tense voice.
“Suddenly I remembered the rear end stuff when I was thirteen. That was kids' stuff, but now I wanted to do it that way again. I remembered how it felt and how nice it was. I wanted it so much I was just shameless.
“'Freddy?' I asked.
“'What?'
“'There's one way we could try it.'
“'What do you mean?'
“I was hoping he'd get the idea without me having to say it. It was kind of embarrassing. 'I can't possibly get a baby if-if you stick it in my behind.'
“'You mean you'd let me do it that way?'
“'I'd like it… If you'll be very gentle.'
“'Oh, Rosalind,' he said, 'I've never done it that way.'
“'If you want to, you can. I don't mind.'
“Freddy looked around at the other cars. And then he unbuckled his belt, raised up, and pulled down his trousers and his shorts. I started undressing, too. I pulled up my mini and slid down my panty hose. It felt deliciously cool to be bare, and I remembered that wonderful anticipation with Dick in the playroom. I stared at his penis. It was so long and thick and hard, much bigger than I remembered Dick's being. I felt very nervous, scared, and excited all at the same time. I reached into the popcorn carton and rubbed butter from it on my fingers, then very gently applied it to his penis. I felt how warm his thing was and remembered how nice that part was when it was in.
“'Oh, Rosalind,' he sighed.
“'How shall we do it?' I asked.
“That was a real problem. I could hardly get out of the car and bend over or something like that, and it was awkward to kneel down on the seat because of the steering wheel.
“'Maybe you could sit down on it?' he said.
“'All right. We could try it that way.'
“I didn't think it would work. If it didn't we'd have to drive someplace where we could get out of the car and
