A Life's Morning

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ was the answer; ‘about ten, I think. Do you know, I really believe he thinks himself good- looking? And he’s as plain as he can be. Don’t you think so, Emily?’

‘I really have no opinion.’

‘It was strange he should come this morning. It was only yesterday I met him over there by the mill,’— Dagworthy’s mill stood at one end of the cattle-market,—’and you can’t think the impudent way he talked. And, oh, how did he know that you were going to give me lessons?’

‘I can’t say.’

‘Well, he did know, somehow; I was astonished. Perhaps your father told him?’

‘That is not very likely.’

‘Well, he knew. I wonder who he’ll marry next. You may depend upon it he did treat his wife badly; everybody said so. If he were to propose to me, I should answer like that woman did to Henry the Eighth, you know.’ She tittered. ‘I can’t fancy marrying a man who’s been married before, could you? I said that to Mrs. Tichborne one day, at Bridlington, and what do you think she answered? Oh, she said, they’re the best husbands. Only a good-natured fool marries a second time.’

This was the kind of talk that Emily knew she would have to endure; it was unutterably repugnant to her. She had observed in successive holidays the growth of a spirit in Jessie Cartwright more distinctly offensive than anything which declared itself in her sisters’ gabble, however irritating that might be. The girl’s mind seemed to have been sullied by some contact, and previous indications disposed Emily to think that this Mrs. Tichborne was very probably a source of evil. She was the wife of an hotel-keeper, the more vulgar for certain affectations of refinement acquired during bar-maidenhood in London, and her intimacy with the Cartwrights was now of long standing. It was Jessie whom she specially affected; with her Jessie had just been spending a fortnight at the seaside. The evil caught from Mrs. Tichborne, or from some one of similar character, did not associate itself very naturally with the silly naivete which marked the girl; she had the air of assuming the objectionable tone as a mark of cleverness. Emily could not trust herself to utter the kind of comment which would naturally have risen to her lips; it would be practically useless, and her relations to Jessie were not such as could engender affectionate zeal in a serious attempt to overcome evil influences. Emily was not of the women whose nature it is to pursue missionary enterprise; instead of calling forth her energies, a situation like the present threw her back upon herself; she sought a retreat from disgust in the sheltered purity of her own heart. Outwardly she became cold; her face expressed that severity which was one side of her character.

‘Don’t you think it would be better if we made a beginning this morning?’ she said, as soon as another pause in the flow of chatter gave her opportunity.

‘What a one you are for work!’ Jessie protested. ‘You seem to take to it naturally, and yet I’m sure it isn’t a natural thing. Just think of having to muddle over French grammar at my age! And I know very well it ‘ll never come to anything. Can you imagine me teaching? I always hated school, and I hate the thought of being a governess. It’s different with you; you’re right down clever, and you make people take an interest in you. But just think of me! Why I should be thought no more of than a servant. I suppose I should have to make friends with the milkman and the butcher’s boy; I don’t see who else I should have to talk to. How’s a girl to get married if she spends all her time in a nursery teaching children grammar? You don’t seem to care whether you’re ever married or not, but I do, and it’s precious hard to have all my chances taken away.

This was Jessie’s incessant preoccupation; she could not talk for five minutes without returning to it. Herein she only exaggerated her sisters’ habits of mind. The girls had begun to talk of ‘sweethearts’ and husbands before they were well out of the nursery. In earlier years Emily had only laughed at what she called such foolishness; she could not laugh now. Such ways of thinking and speaking were a profanation of all she held holiest; words which she whispered in trembling to her heart were vulgarised and defiled by use upon these tinkling tongues; it was blasphemy against her religion.

Once more she endeavoured to fix the girl’s thoughts on the work in hand, and by steady persistence conquered at length some semblance of attention. But an hour proved the utmost limit of Jessie’s patience, then her tongue got its way again, and the inevitable subjects were resumed. She talked of the ‘gentlemen’ whose acquaintance, in a greater or less degree, she had made at the seaside; described their manoeuvres to obtain private interviews with her, repeated jokes of their invention, specified her favourites, all at headlong speed of disjointed narrative. Emily sat beneath the infliction, feeling that to go through this on alternate days for some weeks would be beyond her power. She would not rise and depart, for a gathering warmth within encouraged her to await a moment when speech would come to her aid. It did so at length; her thought found words almost involuntarily.

‘Jessie, I’m afraid we shall not do much good if we always spend our mornings like this!’

‘Oh, but I thought we’d done enough for to-day.’

‘Perhaps so, but—What I want to say is this. Will you, as a kindness to me, forget these subjects when we are together? I don’t mind what else you talk about, but stories of this kind make me fidgety; I feel as if I should be obliged to get up and run away.’

‘Do you really mean it? You don’t like me to talk about gentlemen? What a queer girl you are, Emily! Why, you’re not settling down to be an old maid at your age, are you?’

‘We’ll say so; perhaps that explains it.’

‘Well, that’s queer. I can’t see, myself, what else there is to talk about. Grammar’s all very well when we’re children, but it seems to me that what a grown-up girl has to do is to look out for a husband. How you can be satisfied with books’—the infinite contempt she put into the word!—’is more than I can make out.’

‘But you will do what I ask, as a kindness? I am in earnest; I shall be afraid of seeing you if you can’t help talking of such things.’

Jessie laughed extravagantly; such a state of mind was to her comical beyond expression.

‘You are a queer one! Of course I’ll do as you wish; you shan’t hear me mention a single gentleman’s name, and I’ll tell all the others to be careful whenever you come.’

Emily averted her face; it was reddened with annoyance at the thought of being discussed in this way by all the Cartwright household.

‘You can do that if you like,’ she said coldly, ‘though it’s no part of my wish. I spoke of the hours when we are together for study.’

‘Very well, I won’t say anything,’ replied the girl, who was good-natured enough beneath all her vulgarities. ‘And now what shall we do till dinner-time?’