The commissary, with all the sincerity of grave good breeding—made me one, as low again.—I never was more disconcerted with a bow in my life.
—The devil take the serious character of these people! quoth I—(aside) they understand no more of Irony than this—
The comparison was standing close by with his panniers—but something seal'd up my lips—I could not pronounce the name—
Sir, said I, collecting myself—it is not my intention to take post—
—But you may—said he, persisting in his first reply—you may take post if you chuse—
—And I may take salt to my pickled herring, said I, if I chuse—
—But I do not chuse—
—But you must pay for it, whether you do or no.
Aye! for the salt; said I (I know)—
—And for the post too; added he. Defend me! cried I—
I travel by water—I am going down the Rhone this very afternoon—my baggage is in the boat—and I have actually paid nine livres for my passage—
C'est tout egal—'tis all one; said he.
Bon Dieu! what, pay for the way I go! and for the way I do not go!
—C'est tout egal; replied the commissary—
—The devil it is! said I—but I will go to ten thousand Bastiles first—
O England! England! thou land of liberty, and climate of good sense, thou tenderest of mothers—and gentlest of nurses, cried I, kneeling upon one knee, as I was beginning my apostrophe.
When the director of Madam Le Blanc's conscience coming in at that instant, and seeing a person in black, with a face as pale as ashes, at his devotions—looking still paler by the contrast and distress of his drapery—ask'd, if I stood in want of the aids of the church—
I go by Water—said I—and here's another will be for making me pay for going by Oil.
Chapter 4.XVI.
As I perceived the commissary of the post-office would have his six livres four sous, I had nothing else for it, but to say some smart thing upon the occasion, worth the money:
And so I set off thus:—
—And pray, Mr. Commissary, by what law of courtesy is a defenceless stranger to be used just the reverse from what you use a Frenchman in this matter?
By no means; said he.
Excuse me; said I—for you have begun, Sir, with first tearing off my breeches-and now you want my pocket—
Whereas—had you first taken my pocket, as you do with your own people—and then left me bare a..'d after—I had been a beast to have complain'd—
