“He grabbed my handbag and searched through it. He took about thirty dollars and change and then tossed the bag aside. I didn't dare scream because I could never explain what I was doing in the waterfront with such a man.
“I had to send a collect telegram to my husband and get enough for the return train fare. I told him I had lost the money somehow and he didn't argue. He just couldn't believe that his nothing wife had a secret life on the side.
“After the robbery, I switched my cruising area because I didn't want to meet that creep, or anyone like him again. But, with my low tastes, this was unavoidable.
“I found this small park favored by drunks and drifters. The few women in the place made me look like a young and beautiful girl. I sat down on a bench and it wasn't long before this handsome young guy sat next to me. His name was Bill and he was a merchant seaman. I told him that I was passing through the city and had stopped at the park to rest my feet.
“'Yeah,' Bill said, 'you don't look like the type that hangs out here.'
“Bill lived aboard his ship, which was due to pull out the next day. This meant that, once again, I would have no room to share with my latest love. I didn't mind. Rooms were for lovers who had to go completely naked. All I needed was a bit of kneeling space and a half-way decent looking stud.
“The sailor invited me into a nearby bar for a drink. At least he had some money and was a few cuts above the men I had grown used to. The bar was filled with other sailors and I was the only woman present, except for a bar maid who seemed to resent the competition I was giving her. I was sure that she had me pegged as a hooker. What other female would allow seamen to pick her up in a park?
“Bill got sexier as he got drunker. He patted my waist and said, 'I'll be on that ship for three weeks without touching port I need something to keep me until then.'
“We staggered outside and I let Bill bring me into the men's room of the park's toilet. Both of us were so drunk that we didn't care who caught us. I sat down on a commode that didn't have a seat and opened his fly.
“'Wanna do it in the French way, sugar?' he grinned wickedly.
“'That's all right by me.'
“As he exposed himself, one of those awful drunks from the park stumbled into the toilet. He stared as I mouthed the sailor's prick. He then opened his pants and stood next to me as if expecting to be next on line. Bill pushed him away with one hand that sent him flying across the room.
“The man left silently and I continued to fellate Bill. He was so drunk that he couldn't get an erection. Alcohol depressed the sexual drive, even if it did lower the inhibitions.
“Suddenly, the toilet was crowded. It seemed that the first man had brought in support. They pulled Bill away and a fight began. I was so drunk myself, I didn't know what was going on exactly so I just ran the hell out of there. I kept on running until I was sure that no one was behind me. Then I sat down on the street and laughed. It was all really very funny.
“I was a split personality living in two entirely different worlds. In suburbia I was a respectable matron, but in the city I was an oral erotic who sought the lowest of men. It was only a matter of time before these two worlds collided.
“It happened when I was cruising the waterfront. A guy in his thirties fell in step with me and started talking. He never told me his name or profession, but I took him for a longshoreman. He was big and tough and he wore work clothes. When I invited him to visit a local hallway, he quickly agreed. I thought I was going to be in for a lot of sex because he was so virile looking.
“It was another dirty hallway like all the rest. On the walls were pornographic drawings of men and women engaged in the same kind of act I was about to perform on the stranger. I opened his pants and started playing with his dick.
“The man tried to lift my dress. 'No,' I said, 'I only use my mouth.'
“'Only?' he repeated. 'Hey, are you a guy in drag? A fag once tricked me into a blow job that way.'
“'Feel around and you tell me if I'm a man,' I offered.
“He slipped his hand under my dress and thrust a finger into my slit. As if to make sure of my sex, he licked the finger.
“'Yeah,' he grunted. 'You're real pussy alright. I know by the taste.'
“'So, another Frencher, right?' I smiled.
“I went to my knees. The man's penis was huge, about the biggest I had ever seen. It was as hard as iron and I could smell manly sweat coming out of his fly. I licked along the length of his manhood and then opened my mouth wide. He was so well-endowed that I could only get about half of his sex organ orally. My lips and tongue went wild over this treasure chest of penis.
“'Coming, baby,' he grunted.
“I pushed my mouth down as far as it could go and then felt his hot come shoot against the back of my throat. The size of his orgasm matched the size of his organ. He was like two men rolled into one. I kept mouthing and swallowing until he had nothing left to give. When I stood up to face him, I expected him to be calm and smiling. But instead, his tough face was contorted with hate.
“'You lousy pig!' he snapped.
“I drew back in fear. He seemed to be mad.
“'I hate you damned degenerates! he all but screamed. 'You are the scum of the world!'
“He punched me hard in the face and I bounced off a wall. I felt everything go black and he kept on hitting me with those big fists of his. I was sure he was going to kill me.
“I woke up in a hospital. The police had found me bleeding in that hallway and they had contacted my husband through what identification I had in my bag.
“Carl wanted to know what I was doing in such an area when I was supposed to be attending an art class. I tried to lie, but he was just too smart for me. He questioned me with his sharp legal mind and tongue, and I finally told him everything just to shut him up.
“When I told my husband that I had Frenched men along the waterfront, he was speechless for the first time in his life. He just didn't know what to say. He walked out of the hospital room and didn't come back until I was ready for discharge. The only way he could explain my actions was to say that I was insane and he insisted that I see you.
“Well, here I am. Now that you know the story, what do you suggest?”
DIAGNOSIS:
Alma is clearly a masochist who finds a strange pleasure in pain and humiliation. This can be found in her choice of “lovers.” Instead of looking for attractive, intelligent young men, she sought out the dregs of the city, the drunks and the drifters. Her choice of “love nests' such as hallways and toilets also indicates her warped need for humiliation. And, when she was robbed, she still returned to the waterfront as if hoping to find that same experience again.
Judd Marmor, in his book, Sexual Inversion, claims that masochists have a special fondness for performing oral sex acts upon others because it puts them in a kneeling and servile position. It can be noted, that Alma never once expected her men to mouth her and she was always the one to go to her knees.
Like all masochists, Alma has a low opinion of herself. This began when her parents tried to make her do school work she was not capable of. When she failed, she blamed herself. Instead of finding her own educational pace, she withdrew from competing with other students into the dream world of the movies she saw on the sly.
Although the woman is of normal intelligence, she considers herself “stupid” because she always compares herself with bright people like her husband and parents. One of the reasons she sought out men below her social level on the waterfront, was to escape a world she could not cope with in suburbia. She was even awed by her own sons.
Herbert J. Gans, in his book about suburbia called, The Levittowners, states that there are many women like Alma who feel they can't live up to the role of suburban housewife and would prefer the city where they wouldn't have to worry about status. As the wife of a corporation lawyer, Alma felt she had to keep up a certain intellectual front, but hated herself for not even being able to talk to her sons. Her flight into the city was actually a flight from
