excited, I thought.
“Harry shot his load. It was weak and not very full. This told me that he had already given the best of himself to some other girl the night before. I wouldn't be surprised if he had taken her to this very parking lot. While it was true that I had two men I was sure that Harry had more than two women. As I mouthed him I wondered where his penis had been the night before. I wondered if the girl had fellated him as I was doing now.
“After I finished we went shopping. We had to do it quickly to make up for the time lost at the parking lot… if I could call it lost time.
“My oldest child, a girl of nine, was the first to realize that Harry was more to me than a paying guest. While my husband didn't suspect a thing this little girl did. Females had an inborn instinct for the ways and means of love that males were blind to. 'You really like Harry don't you, mom?' she said to me one day using an undertone that told me she knew more than was good for her.
“'Of course I like Harry,' I said trying to pretend innocence. 'Don't you?'
“'He spends a lot of time with you,' she said. 'All my friends have been noticing.'
“I felt my house of cards falling apart. Now the neighbors were talking. I knew that I had been discreet with Harry but it didn't take much to start a rumor in my neighborhood. Even if there had been no sexual affair the neighbors would invent one. I knew that Harry couldn't stay in the house any longer no matter how much money he added to the family's finances.
“That evening I suggested to Norman that perhaps Harry would be happier living someplace else. He seemed surprised by my words. 'But he likes it here!' he exclaimed. 'Besides we need the money. Has Harry been complaining about anything?'
“'No but it is really awkward having a single young man in the house. You know how neighbors talk.'
“'Ah ha! The neighbors! Well, just ignore them dear. We know that nothing is wrong between you and Harry and that's all that matters.'
“I wanted to tell my husband that there was something very wrong going on under his own nose but I just couldn't hurt him. Since he wouldn't get Harry to leave I had to talk to the young man myself. I was sure he would understand.
“I brought up the subject at that parking lot right after we had another oral relationship. I put it to him quite bluntly that, sooner or later, our affair would be revealed if we persisted in seeing one another.
“'You want me to move, Slone?' he asked.
“'I think it will be the best thing in the long run.' Tears started to well in my eyes. It wasn't easy breaking off one of the very few close relationships in my life.
“Harry did more than just leave the house… he quit his job. This gave him a good excuse to move away. He wasn't doing it just for me; he had always hated social work.
“'Well, I'm sorry to see you go, Harry,' my husband told him. 'I liked having you around here.'
“'And I liked being around here,' he answered with a wink to me.
“After Harry left I thought my problem was solved but now my husband is talking about taking in another young bachelor he met at the office.
Even though I've begged Norman not to do it, it looks like he is determined to have the man under our roof. I don't know what to do now. I don't want to tell him about why it wouldn't be safe for me to have another man in the house but it seems the only way. Should I tell my husband the truth, doctor?”
DIAGNOSIS:
Truth can be a dangerous thing and, from what Slone told me about her husband, I felt that he would not be able to withstand the knowledge that his wife had had oral sex relations with another man. By telling Norman the reason why she couldn't have another man in the house she could keep him out but it would also destroy the marriage. If Norman felt so strongly about oral intercourse that he wouldn't allow his wife to perform fellatio upon him he certainly would not take the fact that she had been fellating another man easily. I advised the woman to throw a tantrum if she had to on the matter of accepting another house guest but, at all costs, avoid telling her husband the truth.
Slone's case proves that not all men like oral intercourse. Norman is in the very small minority, though, because Kinsey has shown in his book Sexual Behavior In the Human Male that nine out of every ten husbands enjoy some form of oral intercourse with their wives. Norman, it appears, is the tenth man who finds oral sex repulsive. As Slone had suggested he may very well have formed his opinion against fellatio during the time he visited prostitutes. To Norman oral sex and prostitution went together. He avoided oralism with his wife because he felt that it was a “perversion.”
When Slone was a teenage girl her sexual drive was weak and thus she was not really bothered by the fact other girls her age were having affairs while she did not. As she grew towards middle-age her sex drive became stronger and so she sought out ways to satisfy it. Her husband, at the same time, was on a sexual decline and this was where her problem began. Hungry for the experiences Norman would not provide she turned to another man who was only too available in the house. While Norman provided her with security and emotional stability Harry provided her with eroticism. She did, indeed, have two husbands.
Jurgen Ruesch, in his study, Therapeutic Communication, claims that many women would be happy having more than one husband at once. If bigamy were legal Slone would have been better off with two husbands rather than just one but, as it stands, she just had to give up one of her men. Giving up Harry for Norman was a good choice since the younger man had never been deeply involved with the woman. To the bachelor she was just a handy outlet for his oral drives. Norman, however, even though he was not as sexually satisfying, loved her deeply in his own quiet and serious way.
Slone never told her husband about her relationship with Harry and, as I had suggested, made such a scene about taking in another boarder that he dropped the plan altogether. Today Slone is living with only one man and she has adjusted to the fact that her husband will never become the lover she needs. Her brief fling with the handsome young bachelor has satisfied her hidden passions. Now that she has tasted the joys of oral intercourse she is no longer driven by a need to perform fellatio.
Chapter Six…
Case History:
Name: Helga N.
Age: 44
Helga is a large, heavy-set woman with a strong face. She is married to an executive in a large business machine company. She did not come to my office willingly, but only because a judge in a criminal action against her advised her to seek psychiatric help. Like others who were sent to me against their will, she resented me.
“A psychologist! What kind of job is that for a man? I think all you head doctors are phonies. You cause more trouble than cures. I've known women who've been going to head doctors for years and they keep getting worse. One of them gave up on her doctor and she improved right away. I think you people like to keep crazy people crazy because of the fees you keep getting. I'm only here because of the court. Once the judge gets off my back, I'm dropping you, baby, like a hot coal.
“In case you don't know it by now, I've been charged with assault. Imagine that? How many women do you know are taken to court for beating up men? I guess that's why people think I'm crazy; it's supposed to be the other way around. Well, women have been assaulted by men for centuries, so it's time we had our innings.
“The guy asked to be beaten, anyhow. He didn't put it in so many words, but I know his type. They enjoy having women dominate them. My husband is the same way. He may have an important job at the business machine company, but he is really a spineless jerk. Oh, he's smart enough and all that, but he's no man at all.
“My father wasn't a man, either. As a matter of fact, I don't think I have ever met a real man in my life.
