said anything. By this time we were divorced emotionally, if not legally. He assumed that I was having adulterous relationships. I suppose he was secretly glad that someone else was taking care of what sexual needs I had. As for him… I doubted if he had any sexual needs left. He hadn't been much of a man when I married him and now he was a nothing.
“Jack, a guy of about forty who serviced my car, became my latest piece of meat. He had never been married and his mouth watered every time he saw a woman. When I brought him to the house with the excuse that I needed him to start my car, he quickly bent to my sexual will. Jack had never had much of a sex life, and he was only too ready to try anything I wanted.
“He took off his clothes and his body offended me. He was flabby, hairy and not even clean. I took a few drinks to brace myself before the session began. Jack not only allowed me to tie him with the leather straps, he even helped secure his legs together. 'You'll let me do things, won't you?' he pleaded. 'You'll let me go down on you, right?'
“Jack made me sick. When he was completely tied, I stood in front of him while he knelt and had him lick my pussy. He was so hungry for sex of any kind that he tore at me with his teeth. I was just drunk enough and mean enough to do something about it. I picked up the whip and lashed him as hard as I could.
“The tubby creep cried out in pain. I lashed him again. 'No more!' he begged.
“Blood appeared on his hairy body. When I used the whip, I always hold back, but not this time. I wanted to see just how much I could hurt a man. I lashed and lashed while he screamed in agony. Soon his whole body was covered with blood and he tried to roll away from me. I guess I lost my head and I couldn't stop.
“Jack lay on the floor unconscious and I was sure I had killed him. This thought didn't bother me at all. What would it be like to actually kill a man? Surely murder must rank as the crime of crimes.
“I took a few more drinks and fell asleep in a chair. When my husband came home and saw me naked and drunk and the gas station man unconscious and bloody, I could imagine what his reaction was like. He called an ambulance for the man who was not going to die after all. The police questioned me and I couldn't think of a good lie. How could anyone explain away a situation like the one my husband found me in? It was the truth and the gas station man backed me up. I thought that would be the end of it, but the creep charged me with assault!
“When the judge heard all the evidence, he didn't know what to do. Jack, after all, had willingly allowed himself to be tied and beaten. I just went a bit too wild with the whip, that's all. The judge told my husband that he would drop all charges if I sought professional help. Now I know that this is all bullshit, but I'm willing to pay you for your time. After a few sessions, you'll give the court a good report and then the matter will finally be dropped. I'll make it worth your while, doctor. What do you say?”
DIAGNOSIS:
I did not accept Helga's bribe, for to do so would be an injustice to the community and my own ethics. The woman was clearly a sadist of the worst sort and she required more than out-patient treatment… she needed to be placed in an institution for an extended period of time.
Helga's sickness began when she saw how her father treated her mother. She became a man-hater very early in life because of the beatings she suffered at the hands of her father and is a classic case of what becomes of the “battered child”. Sidney Furst, in his study, PSYCHIC TRAUMA, maintains that children who are severely beaten, usually grow up to be child beaters themselves. Helga hurt her only child by sending him to a boarding school as soon as he was old enough. She then turned her sadistic streak on her husband. When Andrew had enough, even for a masochist, he withdrew from her life, leaving her to seek other victims.
Since Helga received no love as a child, she grew into a frigid woman. When she allowed a boy to have relations with her at the age of sixteen, it was more as an experiment than anything else. She wasn't really involved in her own seduction because she claimed that she had the feeling that she was viewing it from several feet away. Helga did not have another sex relationship until she married almost twelve years later. The woman married a man she did not love for financial security alone, and just as coldly had a child in order to have a hold on the man's pocketbook. Once this was accomplished, she destroyed her ability to have any more children.
William Robie, in his book, SEX AND LIFE, claims that women who resent the idea of having children are really in flight from their own womanhood. These females usually come from unhappy homes and they dislike the idea of giving children love they did not receive when they were young. Helga not only had not received love as a child, she was never sure if the man her mother was married to was really her natural father since he always made a point of denying his parentage. This, coupled with beatings, made the girl hate the idea of love, marriage and motherhood.
In Andrew she found a man she could dominate and thus who was no threat to her. Andrew was a masochist who fit perfectly into Helga's sadistic plans. As a woman-dominated boy, he grew up assuming that males were unimportant and so it was an easy thing for him to be ordered about by an aggressive wife. But a man can take just so much, and he deserted his wife in his own mind by moving into a private room.
Once Helga found herself without someone to rule and humiliate, she went hunting for other men. She soon found them because a large number of men in the country are so unsure of their manhood that they find a certain pleasure in being dominated by women. These men are the type to willingly submit to the lash and the weird demands of sadistic females.
Helga, like all sadists, needed to give stronger and stronger doses of pain as her career progressed. When Jack, the gas station employee, entered her strange world, she was all but ready to commit murder to experience a sexual thrill. If she is allowed to continue without intensive care and therapy, she will become a hopeless psychotic.
I gave these findings to the court, and today Helga is in a private mental hospital. I can only hope that she will one day return to society as a happy and stable human being.
Chapter Seven…
Case History:
Name: Janet M.
Age: 37
Janet is a slim, beautiful blonde woman who is married to a sports announcer. She is step-mother to the man's two teenage sons from his previous marriage.
“I don't know where I can turn, doctor. You are my last hope. I've reached a point where I think I'm going out of my mind. My husband doesn't know I'm here and he doesn't know WHY I'm here. Scott and Tracy do, though, they're his two sons. I suppose they are my sons, too, since I've married him but I prefer to look upon them as just another couple of boys. It isn't that I don't love them… quite the opposite. It is because I love them too much.
“This is my second marriage, too, doctor, but I have no children to show from it which is a blessing, really. I married Edward when I was only seventeen. He was fifteen years older and you might call him a sort of father- image for me. My own father died when I was nine and I was brought up by my mother and a couple of old maid aunts. My aunts were old in every sense because they couldn't stand happiness. I suppose that's why they never married. I still can see the two of them now sitting on the front porch and bad-mouthing the whole world. They never allowed boys to come around to the house and forbade me to date. 'There's too much sinning going on today,' they would tell me.
“I wanted to get in on that sinning because the last thing in the world I wanted to do was to turn out like my aunts. As for my mother she just sort of drew into a shell after my father died. He was the only man in her life and she had him for such a short time.
“The boys at school said I was very pretty and I dated them on the sly but I could never know one of them for long with my aunts keeping their evil eyes on me. They found sin everywhere and they looked upon boys as devils out to destroy angel-girls.
