“I could by the tone of his voice and by the way he looked at me that Vernon wanted me to say that I was in the mood for love. This was a fact but I couldn't bring myself to say it. The brawny, half-nude man appeared to be more than ready for some action himself. I should've made an excuse and left the camper but I didn't want to. I was forty-five and deserved some romance.
“We had a few more drinks and Vernon kept glancing at his watch. He knew when his wife would return and this meant that he had just so much time to make me in. Finally he slipped his hands over my waist and kissed me full on the lips. I didn't object. I placed my hands on his bare back and returned the kiss. His massive maleness was overpowering.
“' My wife will be back in less than an hour,' he said.
“Vernon was really telling me that I still could leave if I wanted to. But I didn't want to. I clung to him and he brought me down on top of the bed. His fingers worked at my clothes and I helped him take them off. Before I knew it I was naked. The only man who had ever seen me completely naked was Tony. Now, in my mid-forties, another man was looking at my bare flesh.
“'Nice and meaty,' he breathed. 'You're my kind of woman.'
“Rita was a nervous stringbean with a flat chest. For a man who liked his women on the plump side he certainly had picked the wrong one to marry.
“He pulled off his tight pants and exposed his huge cock. It was erected and looked like an entire salami. The more I was of the man the less I could understand Rita. Some women just didn't know when they were well off.
“Vernon pulled me against his body and clamped his rough hands on my ass. The moment the head of his giant prick touched my slit I suddenly turned moral. I thought of Tony sleeping innocently in the camper. He had never taken another woman so why should I take another man?
“'Don't!' I said, and placed one of my hands over my sexual opening.
“'Don't?!' Vernon cried with frustration. 'Woman, why did you go this far if you didn't want me to screw you?'
“'That's what I wanted… at first,' I said. “Then I thought of my husband. I can't do this to him.'
“'Knock it off!' he complained. 'You mean you've never fucked another guy since you were married?'
“When I admitted that this was so he shook his head in disgust and flung himself back on the bed. As I lay there I stared down at all that wonderful meat. I leaned over and ran my tongue along it. Vernon moaned with delight.
“'Do it that way, then,' he said, 'I dig French jobs!'
“I took the head of his engorged penis in my mouth. It was so big that I could hardly fellate him. I pushed my face down until his organ pressed against the back of my throat and then I withdrew completely. In the yellow light of the camper his great prick shone with my spit.
“Vernon lay with an arm across his eyes and a smile on his face.
“'Keep going,' he urged. 'You were doing fine. It's been the longest time since a woman went down on me.'
“'Your wife doesn't?' I wanted to know.
“'Rita?' he smirked. 'That bag of bones doesn't even like straight sex. That's why I have to find women like you who are still alive.'
“We had something in common. Our mates had lost interest in sex while we still wanted passion. I leaned down once more and licked the huge organ from base to shiny tip. I took his large testicles orally and licked his brittle pubic hair. Since I was only going to have oral relations with this man I wanted to make it something we would both remember. Remember? I wish now I could forget what happened in that camper.
“I took as much of Vernon's penis as I could orally again. I mouthed furiously and he kept moaning.
“'Here it comes!' he told me, and then a tremendous load of sperm flooded my throat.
“I kept on sucking until the man was dry. Even in a limp state his penis was a wonder. I place my cheek against it and lay that way for a long time. Outside a car came to a stop and I got to my feet.
“'Rita!' Vernon announced tightly.
“He pulled on his pants fast enough, but when the door opened, I was still struggling to get into my blouse. I didn't even take the time to put on my bra and panties. Rita quickly sized up the situation.
“'Why you fat old bag!' she screamed. 'What are you doing around my husband?'
“The last thing in the world I wanted was a scene. My husband was only a matter of feet away. I hadn't had regular intercourse with Vernon just because of him and I didn't want him to find out I'd cheated on him now.
“Rita tried to claw my face and I pushed her down. Vernon grabbed her and I ran out of the camper.
“'Fat slut! Whore!' the thin woman screamed, waking just about everyone within ear shot. 'Wait till your husband finds out!'
“When I got back to the camper I heard Tony snoring. I had always hated those snores but now they were like music. Rita kept on screaming and I heard Vernon beginning to shout. I felt awful. It was bad enough to have sex with another man, but it was even worse to be found out. I made up my mind that my husband would never know so I slipped into the cab of the camper and started the engine. Tony kept on sleeping even as I drove through the night. I didn't like driving in the dark, but I just had to get away from that screaming woman… and my one and only adultery.
“As soon as I found a nice spot I parked and went back into the van part of the camper. Tony was still asleep. I took off my clothes and slipped into his arms. I held him close.
“'Tony, I'm sorry,' I said to his unhearing hear.
“The following morning Tony was surprised to find we had left that camp. I told him I had moved the camper at night just as a joke and he believed it. My poor, innocent, forty-eight year old man! He just wouldn't even begin to suspect that his wife had had one last fling at life and love.
“I didn't pester him for the rest of the vacation to move when he found a good fishing spot. You don't have to tell me it was guilt. It crushed me down like a two ton weight. Tony was pleasantly surprised when I didn't press him and he fished his heart out.
“I kept telling myself that I had hurt no one by mouthing a man at a trailer camp. As long as my husband didn't know, what's the harm? I was sure that many wives have had such passing flings and it never bothered them. But there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of Vernon, his salami, my mouthing, his screaming, and that fast drive out of the trailer camp.
“Tony went on working as hard as he always did and this made me feel more guilty. I just didn't deserve such a husband. When we went to visit our children and grandchildren my guilt was at its peak. As a grandmother I was supposed to be something of a saint. Grandmothers weren't supposed to go around sucking cocks.
“One night, while watching television with my husband, a western came on showing a cowboy who looked exactly like Vernon. He was big, brawny, and sexy. He also wore tight pants which reminded me of that night at the camp. My husband patted my hand and asked me to get him a beer. Somehow this touch, the sight of a man who looked like Vernon, made me cry. I ran out of the room and wept. My poor husband was so confused he didn't know what to do.
“'Margo, what's wrong?' he asked.
“I gave him some excuse about not feeling well. He was so kind that my guilt went up a few more pounds. It was getting so that I was afraid I'd have some kind of breakdown. That's why I came here, doctor. I want to avoid going crazy.”
DIAGNOSIS:
Margo reacted so strongly against her very brief fling because it was the only one in her life and thus it loomed much larger than it deserved. I assured her that this one moment of oral passion didn't make her an evil woman and that she should stop punishing herself. She is a very moral person who feels that every sin would be punished. When she fellated a man she felt that somehow she should pay for it. Since the incident happened six months before she came to see me this meant that she had carried her burden of guilt around all that time. Six months of living with an agonized conscience is more than enough punishment for her very short journey into oral sex.
Sidney Furst, in his book, “Psychic Trauma', maintains that some people can indulge in all forms of sexual
