to do with your worth. It has everything to do with what he has to offer. And it also has to do with how you present yourself. Are you working overtime? If he has a lot to offer but you don’t allow him to come your way, he’ll have no other option but to back off. When a nice girl over-compensates, her behavior says, “What I have to offer isn’t enough, and who I am isn’t enough.” The bitch, on the other hand, gives a very different message. “Who I am is enough. Take it or leave it.” And now, a comparison:

She calls him often and says, “Please return my call.” She gets back to him when she’s free.
She is on call like a rookie flight attendant. She sees him when it is convenient for her.
She makes it obvious a relationship is her goal before she knows much about him. She goes out to have fun and doesn’t make promises to a virtual stranger.
When he does call her, she is mad he didn’t call sooner. When he calls her, he is curious where she is, and why she’s not there.
She often drives. He’ll pick her up or happily go out of his way.
She asks, “Where’s our relationship going?” He has no clue where the relationship is going, and she leaves it like that.
She talks about having babies. She can’t remember his last name.
She asks him about the “ex.” He brings up the ex; she looks at her watch

The foundation is laid from day one. From the very beginning, he consciously (yes, consciously) tries to figure out what the parameters are and how much he can get away with.

Phone etiquette is also telling. Do you wait to hear from him before you make plans? Do you get bent out of shape if he doesn’t call, check in, or show up as expected?

If so, you are not giving him a lesson in punctuality. What you are doing is showing him he has a 100 percent hold on you, which isn’t a good message to give someone you’ve just met.

It’s a fact that most men deliberately don’t call, just to see how you’ll respond. When a woman is upset, she is easy to read. And a man can easily gauge how much a woman wants or needs the relationship by simply pulling back a little bit. So forget all those other theories from magazines about why men don’t call.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #4 Sometimes a man deliberately won’t call, just to see how you’ll respond.

It is human nature for a man to test the waters to see how much he can get away with. You see it in the behavior of children and even in the behavior of pets. It’s par for the course.

Pulling back is also something men do to gain reassurance. No man is going to say, “Honey, I need reassurance about where I stand with you.” Instead he’ll pull back to see how you’ll react. When you react emotionally, it gives him a feeling of control. And if you react emotionally frequently, over time he will come to see you as less of a mental challenge. If he can’t predict how you’ll always react, you remain a challenge.

It also gives him something he absolutely needs: the freedom to breathe. If you don’t hear from him for a little longer than usual, show him that you have absolutely no “attitude” about it. This behavior will make him a little unsure about whether you miss him (i.e., “need him”) when he isn’t around. It gives him a reason to come your way because he won’t perceive you as needy.

Try not to say things such as “Why haven’t you called me?” or “Why haven’t I heard from you in a week?” If you act as though you haven’t even noticed (because time flies when you’re having fun), he will come your way. Why? Because he doesn’t feel as though he has a 100 percent hold on you.

A top teen magazine recently gave women the following bad advice. They said to slip notes in unexpected places like his backpack or locker, or to “write a poem and slip it under his windshield wiper.” As if this wasn’t enough to give his attraction the kiss of death… Wait, it gets better. In addition, they advised catching him off guard by “having a pizza delivered.” Okay. Put it all together and what do you get? A magic recipe for convincing him you are a stalker.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #5 If you start out dependent, it turns him off. But if it is something he can’t have, it becomes more of a challenge for him to get it.

Again, it isn’t about learning how to play a game. It’s about understanding human nature and behaving accordingly A man will always want what he can’t have. When a man meets a woman and she seems nonchalant, it becomes a challenge for him to win her affections.

Or, if he tries to get a woman to react in an insecure way but she holds herself with a level of dignity and pride, suddenly the dynamic changes. The same guy who was gunshy of relationships becomes a believer. Now he begins to fantasize about getting the so-called bitch to cook him a meal, fold his socks, or chase him around. But if you start out dependent on him, he simply doesn’t value it the same.

Another mistake that a woman can make is to put herself down. When you’re on a date, you should never talk about the plastic surgery you want to have or the weight you want to lose. Don’t talk him out of a compliment. This is the time to be sure of who you are.

So, what’s the right attitude? “This is me, in all of my splendor… and it doesn’t get any better than this.” Don’t spend a fortune on a therapist. Just say it to yourself until you believe it. Eventually you will believe it, and so will he.

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