before.
I stayed with him long enough for me to work him up again and do a repeat performance. I wanted to stay with him all night, but I couldn't.
Sam was not the only man I had sex with that summer. As usual, the offbeat element seemed drawn to me like a magnet. The man who owned the bar we usually went to in the daytime was married to a shrew of a jealous old bitch. They were both Italian and in their fifties. He flirted with me every chance he could.
One morning when I was drinking a beer there Tony asked me if I'd like to go out in his cabin cruiser with him for a while. His wife had gone to Tampa for the day, he explained. I welcomed the opportunity because I thought it would be nice to have sex with a more mature and experienced man for a change. It turned out that his main interest was in masochism.
Tony had me tie him to the bed and beat his buttocks with a long cane until he could hardly stand it, Otherwise, he was impotent. The big mistake I made in going out with Tony, however, was to let him know that I was interested in, or would at least participate in, offbeat sex. A couple of weekends later, he introduced me to these two gamblers from New York, who insisted that I go into Miami with them that night.
I must have wanted to go, because I was not forced. I only like to pretend I just can't help myself. But these men were really quite persuasive as well as being very sexy and good-looking. So, I told Kathy and Sam and Colby that I had a date with an old friend I had run into. Steve and Greg were in their forties, both dark men of Italian or Greek descent. They had an air-conditioned Cadillac limousine complete with a chauffeur. During the long drive to Miami, I sat in between them, we had a couple of drinks, and one thing led to another. I went down on both of them, and they enjoyed it very much. While I did it to Steve, Greg would finger me and feel my bottom and thighs. When I did it to Greg, Steve would insert his fingers at both places and call me names in Greek.
I felt like I was right back home in the swing of things. I was with my kind of people again, not with college kids or impotent old men. I asked where we were going and they both smiled at each other and told me it would be a new experience… maybe.
They took me to a private club first and introduced me to everyone as “The Suckstress.” This was always followed by delighted looks from the men and both frowns and smiles from the women. Steve and Greg gave me some chips to play the tables for a while, and I was having a wonderful time, when an attendant came over and said that Steve wanted to see me upstairs.
I was ushered into one of the most elegant offices I had ever seen. Steve and Greg were seated on a big leather couch and a gray haired man was behind a kidney-shaped desk. He was introduced as “Mr. Salikas.”
I was pretty much unflappable when it came to sex, but I did do a double take at the girl who was sitting on top of the desk. She was Cuban, they explained, a Cuban refugee whom “Mr. Salikas” had adopted. She couldn't have been more than 11 or 12 years old, a very beautiful young thing with a pretty shape and long black hair.
She was totally naked, and the gray haired man played with various parts of her body as she giggled and muttered words in Spanish. “Mr. Salikas” looked from me to the girl, then back to the girl. The deal was that I was to teach the girl Lesbian love. When I refused, Steve got up and came over toward me like he was going to use some kind of force. But “Mr. Salikas” stopped him and told him to get rid of me immediately, complaining that he wanted a younger girl anyway.
I was sent back to my motel in a taxi.
It was after midnight when I got back. Kathy was out, and I found myself very restless and concerned. I realized that what had started out to be a very wonderful summer of getting to know my daughter had developed into pretty much her going her way while I went mine. I think that a great deal of my sexual desire had been the result of my trying to escape reality and the real fear that haunted me-was Kathy having sex relations with Colby?
As I sat there nursing a scotch and water, I realized for the first time what a bizarre situation this had actually become. Here we were, a 15-year-old girl and her 34-year-old mother keeping company with two men. And Colby was not even divorced yet. My 15-year-old daughter was dating a married man twice her age! How could I have let it happen?
I began to wonder what Sam and Colby really thought of us. Would they go back to Massachusetts to tell all their buddies how they spent the summer “screwing this good-looking broad and her kid daughter”?
And why should I delude myself with the idea that Colby was not having relations with Kathy? They were alone almost every night. There was the car for them to do it in. There was our room at the motel. Why else would a 29-year-old man continue dating a 15-year-old girl… even if he did think she was 18?
Eighteen! Of course. That even made it plainer. And it made me feel a little bit better about what they might think of us. Funny, that I should be as concerned over that as my daughter's virginity. It was then that I determined to stay up until Kathy arrived so that we could have that talk before the summer was over.
I had nearly gone off to sleep sitting up in a chair when I heard her coming in at 4:15 in the morning. She looked so lovely as she walked over to give me a kiss. Her face was radiant and the lack of any make-up pointed up her natural beauty as she knelt there beneath the lamp and looked up at me.
“I've been proposed to, Mother,” she stated with a tone of pride in her voice, then danced across the floor and tossed her purse on the bed. “How did you make out? Did you get a proposal too? Did you have a good time with your old friend?”
“Proposed to?” I questioned, ignoring her queries as I sat up straight and took a sip from my watered down scotch with no more ice in it. “How can you be proposed to by a married man?”
“Oh, he'll be unmarried next month,” she told me with the assurance of gullible youth, “and we can have a honeymoon in Europe and live in a big house up on Massachusetts Bay. Oh, Mother, think how everyone would talk about me back at school… Kathy Bryant married a rich man from Massachusetts and she's having a honeymoon in Europe and…”
“Have you told him you are fifteen years old?” I demanded, standing up and yelling at her, my face contorting angrily as I raved on at her. “Have you told him? Does he know that I could call the police and have him arrested for staying out all night with a minor child and doing… doing things that are called statutory rape in a court of law?”
“Mother…?” Kathy said questioningly, looking at me with an absolutely genuine expression of deep hurt. “You don't think that I did anything that…”
“Oh, Kathy!” I stormed at her, lighting a cigarette, “I'm not dumb. I'm not a stupid woman. Why would a 29- year-old married man be going around with you all summer? Why was Chillie, that delinquent drop-out goon last summer, after you all the time? I don't think you've been holding hands on the beach until four o'clock in the morning, Kathy?”
“Why would Colby date me all summer long?” she came back at me in tears, her arms outstretched, “Mother, this is why I wanted to talk to you. I know… I know why Colby sticks with me. I want to think that he likes me or loves me or really wants to get married. I want to think that. But I know the real reason he keeps going with me is because he thinks, every night, that the next night is going to be the night he can do it to me!
Mother! I'm still a virgin! You may not believe it and nobody else may believe it. But I know that I'm still a virgin! Oh… sure. I talk up a good screw. That's what they say at school. I can talk like a tramp and people think I'm doing everything with every guy I date. I don't care! I know I'm not!”
“Kathy…” I tried to stop her, wanting to talk about it more rationally, wanting to listen and believe her, “Let's…”
“Let me finish first… please,” she requested, kneeling on the floor and looking up at me.
“Mother… I have had boys make me so turned on I could taste them. Oh, I've wanted to get laid in the worst kind of way. When Colby had me over at their place tonight alone, I was fighting… I was fighting the most I ever had. He's a lover, Mother… a real lover. He had his finger… in me! I've let guys at home do that before, I let Chillie do it last summer… but Colby knows how to do it so you just feel so crazy and jazzy you'll do anything!
“But I didn't do it! Mother, I want to be a virgin until I get married… Mother? You… you don't believe I'm a virgin…”
“Kathy… Kathy, darling,” I tried to quiet her, feeling like an absolute heel, reaching down and drawing her close to me. “I think I've been a terrible…”
“No!” she screamed, pulling away from me and standing up, taking off her clothes hurriedly. “You won't believe what I saw. You have to believe me now. Here… you're a woman. Feel! Here… feel!”
Kathy lay sprawled across the bed naked with her legs apart. She spread the lips of her vulva and repeated
