The fishing boat chugged its way slowly down the coast towards the Irish Channel and I stared at the water fearing the depth of the sea beneath the ship even though one of the fishing crew assured me it was as calm a day as I could ever wish to see.
We were travelling in a weather-beaten fishing boat and had been blown off course in a storm. It had pulled into shore at Milford Haven on the coast of Wales to be repaired, which was a stroke of luck for me and Michael. It was an Irish ship flying the Irish flag to show its neutrality, so there was little chance of it being attacked by a submarine or so the sailor assured me.
I looked at Michael. He was staring into the distance, no doubt hoping, as I was, to reach land. The sea journey to Cork would take many hours but at least I was with Michael. I had got him away, me, Meryl Jones, not my beautiful sister Hari. The thought gave me a warm feeling of triumph even as a pang of guilt shot through my chest. Though ‘my chest’ was no longer flat but was a fully grown ‘bosom’ now.
My Irish accent, and I was always a good mimic, copied from Kate had been good enough to convince the captain that I just wanted to get home from a war-torn Britain. Still it had taken most of our money to persuade the man to take us on his boat.
‘You could be spies,’ he’d said. I’d patted my fake belly. ‘Do I look like a spy to you?’ And at last convinced, he decided to take us.
It grew dark after a few hours and the sea was black and more intimidating than ever. I thought of the German submarines that lay off the coast of Ireland ready to pounce on our British ships returning from abroad, and trembled.
Michael sensed my fear and took my hand. ‘Be calm,’ he said, ‘we’ll soon reach dry land and you can have the baby in peace.’
If only he was my husband, if only there was his baby safe inside me, how happy I would be. One of the merchantmen smiled at me.
‘When’s it due? I’ve got two little ones of my own so I have.’
I thought quickly. I looked quite big but I didn’t know quite how many months I would be to look this size. I played it safe. ‘Not long now.’ I lowered my eyes bashfully. ‘It’s a honeymoon baby.’
He winked at Michael. ‘You’re not a Jaffa then?’
I looked at Michael, frowning. ‘Seedless,’ he said, briefly looking embarrassed. I tried not to laugh. Suddenly I felt happy, every moment the ship was taking us away from danger, from the men who wanted to arrest Michael, perhaps charge him as a spy, shoot him even. If he had nothing to hide why didn’t he declare himself, that’s what they would say.
A sailor came from the front of the small ship. He was dripping with sea water. ‘I can see the lighthouse,’ he said eagerly, ‘we’ll soon be ashore.’ He grinned at me. ‘I was worried you’d give birth before land, I’m what passes for the ship’s doctor and I didn’t fancy the job of midwife.’
‘No danger of that,’ I said, ‘I’m not going to be relieved of this burden till I’m in Ireland.’ I took Michael’s hand and squeezed it and it was his turn to stifle a laugh.
There was a sudden clunk against the side of the ship and the sailors looked at each other in alarm. ‘Mines! Holy Hell!’
The object had jagged points poking out of it and was drifting away from us but not far enough. The sound of the blast was loud in my ears. Flames seared above my head. A great jagged hole appeared in the side of the boat and water, cold and rough, swept around my legs. I clutched my belly as if it was indeed a precious child. One of the sailors thought he understood. He was bleeding profusely from his chest, the blood running between his thick fingers.
‘Get your wife out of here!’ He gave Michael a push and Michael responded at once, leading me as quickly as he could towards the hole in the metal. The sea was coming in fast now and I knew the boat must sink soon. I looked at the vast expanse of water and fear made me feel sick. Gently now, I was pushed towards the jagged tear in the ship’s hull.
‘Get clear!’ the sailor instructed Michael, ‘get as far away from the ship as you can or else you’ll be tugged down by the wake.’ The sailor pushed my arms into a life jacket, his own I think. ‘The Holy Virgin go with you.’ And then I was in the cold, unfriendly sea.
‘Hold on to me,’ Michael ordered. I was a good swimmer but the utter hugeness of the sea terrified me and I put my arms around Michael’s waist and let his strong arms, bulging with muscles from his work on the farm, take us away from the doomed boat.
The bag under my skirts dragged at me and I thought of abandoning it but I could see two of the sailors bobbing around us. They were injured and floundering but there was nothing we could do to help them. Perhaps none of us would ever get out of this damn sea, we would drown and sink to the bottom to be eaten by the fishes. I began to kick against the heavy seas with all my strength.
‘There’s a beam of light ahead,’ Michael gasped, the water slopping around his mouth and nose so that he began to cough. ‘It’s a sub, it’s heading towards us, just hold on sweetheart, we’re going to be picked up.’
I tried to help Michael by treading water but soon I got tired and sank back on to the life jacket. It was a cumbersome thing and felt like sticks of wood but it was doing a good job of keeping my head above water.
The submarine still had water running down its slug-like sides as it came to a restless, uneasy stop some way away from us. Michael began to swim towards it, towing me like a sack behind him.
A man appeared, kneeling on the side of the huge shiny sub. He shouted some words and I felt every nerve in my body tense.
‘Let me do the talking,’ Michael said. ‘For once you keep your little mouth shut.’
Michael shouted back and waved his hand, calling out in his native German. My heart shrank with fear—we were being rescued by the enemy.
Thirty-Two
‘Where are they?’ Hari sat next to Kate on the sofa in her little parlour and drank the endless cups of tea Hilda insisted on making for them. When she brought in the tray yet again, she was dressed to go out.
‘I’m taking Teddy for a walk. I won’t be long.’ She dressed the little boy and winked at Hari. ‘I might get myself a little drink when I’m out, not much mind, just enough to warm my belly.’
When the door closed behind Hilda and the baby, Hari touched Kate’s arm. ‘I haven’t heard a word from any of them. I’m so worried, Kate.’
‘Have you heard anything on that machine of yours in the office, anything about escaped Germans?’
Hari shook her head. ‘That’s a thought. Meryl knows enough to get a radio signal through to me if she can only find the right equipment. Perhaps they’re both in France looking for a resistance group. I’ve got to hope, Kate, I’ve got to have hope.’
‘What’s this about a resistance group?’ Kate sounded bewildered.
‘Some of the French are fighting the Germans, others of course have given in, collaborated.’
Hari swallowed hard. ‘I suppose the worst thing is my sister and Michael could both be dead.’ Her voice was flat, heavy. An unbearable pain filled her, a physical pain like she had never experienced before. ‘How could I live without them?’
‘You’d have no choice.’ Kate’s voice was suddenly filled with tears, ‘you just find a way to go on, you have to.’
‘I’m sorry, Kate,’ Hari said at once, ‘of course you do, you’ve lost your Eddie, I know the pain must haunt you day and night.’
Suddenly she was weary. All Hari wanted to do was lie down and sleep. ‘I’d better get back,’ she said, ‘it’s getting dark.’
Kate went to the window as if she could see outside. ‘Hilda’s keeping the baby out a long time, she hates the dark, especially these days when there’s no street lights and windows are all blacked out.’
Hari saw the irony of her words, to Kate everything was blacked out. ‘Look, shall I go and find them?’
‘Stay a bit and talk to me,’ Kate said. ‘Talk about anything, I just don’t want to be on my own. If they don’t
