how you relate to the people around you, particularly if you want to live a successful life.
Do you have tact? Do you even know what that means in your everyday life? Isaac Newton offers a great definition. Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy. It is truly an art.
Why do you think it might be so difficult to be tactful in various situations? Usually, the ego gets in the way. Someone says or does something particularly stupid, and you want to point it out. Your ego wants to show them that you’re superior. It’s even worse if they do something stupid and it affects you in some way. Then you feel superior and annoyed.
How do you curb those natural urges to let the person know they are a complete idiot? Try empathy first. Think about what it would be like if you were them. How embarrassed would you be if someone pointed out your shortcomings? It wouldn’t feel good, would it? Another way that you can make your point without making an enemy is to identify your own flaws. Maybe you’ve made a similar mistake in the past. You can share your story and how you found a better solution.
Practice tact today and give your ego the day off.
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How many friends do you have? These are not just mere acquaintances, but true friends who would be there for you no matter what. How many people would consider you a friend? Are you someone who people can come to if they need a person to confide in? Do you lift your friends up when they’re down?
Human beings need friendships just as much as we need food, water, and other essentials. We have the unique capacity to share each other’s burdens and help one another through life. Do you nurture your friendships? Have you utilized this rare gift to its fullest? If not, you are discarding a very important tool for success.
Take a look at your friendships today. Where do you fall short? Is there someone you haven’t called in awhile? Is there a friend you can help today? When was the last time you told your friends that they are important in your life?
Write about your friendships. Have you lost a friend recently? Why? What does it feel like when you lose a friendship? There can be very legitimate reasons for ending a friendship, but it is almost always a painful process. Journal about what you can do to increase your circle of friends and take good care of the friends you have.
Friendship is a most precious gift. Do you treat it like that? Or do you tend to use your friends when you need them and discard them when you don’t? These are some tough questions to ask yourself. Try to avoid feeling guilty about the current state of your friendships and instead plan concrete actions that will strengthen these ties.
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You have been keeping a food journal for one week now. Take a few minutes today to review it. Do you see any patterns? Pick out one thing you would like to change about your diet and start today. Maybe you would like to drink less soda, stop eating late at night, or avoid snacking in the afternoon. Pick one item and change your routine for the better.
Now, back to relationships. Do you believe your primary purpose in life is to help others, or do you think others should help you? That is a pretty important distinction. Living your life in service to others is quite different from living a life where you expect others to serve you. Draw a horizontal line across the middle of one of the pages in your journal. Put “helping others” on the left end of the line and “others helping you” on the right side of the line. Where do you fall? Are you habitually helpful, or do you really require help from others much more often than you give it? Put a red dot on the line to represent where you are today. Then, put a green dot on the line to show where you would like to be a month from now.
When you think about being a success, do you imagine living in a mansion with hundreds of servants taking care of your every need? Well, that’s not such a horrible image. Now you have a chance to add to your vision of success. How do you see yourself helping others—or at least not hurting them? How will you use your success for the good of someone else?
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