She shouldn’t take comfort from him. It wasn’t fair. Besides, it confused the issues. And what the hell were the issues? Sex? Love? Friendship? Whatever they were, she should probably stay remote until she could think clearly.
Yet they had sat like this a hundred times, touched and shared thoughts and silences. How could she push him away? It would hurt too much. It would be like tearing out a part of herself.
'Stop fretting,' Joe murmured. 'This part will always stay the same. I’m not trying to take anything away from you. I’m just trying to give us both more.'
'You must think I’m a selfish bitch,' she said unevenly. 'You’ve already given me so much. You saved my life and you saved my sanity. I’d give you anything you wanted if I wasn’t afraid I’d end up hurting you. Sex is nothing. You’d ask for more and I don’t know anything about a man
— woman relationship. The boy who got me pregnant with Bonnie left as soon as I told him I wouldn’t get an abortion. That wasn’t exactly great training. I don’t know if I could handle such a big commitment.'
'You can handle it. You can handle anything.'
'Yeah? I haven’t handled any sexual relationship with great skill.”
“That’s because it wasn’t with me.'
She suddenly chuckled. 'You arrogant bastard.'
He smiled. 'Nothing but the truth.' He pressed her head into the curve of his shoulder. 'Go to sleep. You might get lucky and dream of me.”
“I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction. Your ego is too big as it is.' She gradually relaxed. Weird, she thought drowsily, she shouldn’t be able to fall back into the comfortable groove of years.
But Joe seemed able to switch back and forth effortlessly and bring her along with him. 'I shouldn’t go to sleep. I came here in case Dom—'
'I know. The minute you showed up I knew I was safe.'
'Shut up.'
'Whatever you say.'
'Yeah, sure. Catch me hurrying out to try to save your neck again.”
“You’d do it.'
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Yes, she would. Without question and without thought. Because the concept of Joe hurt or killed was too frightening to contemplate.
To live without Joe…
Spiro arrived at the field at ten-fifteen the following morning. 'Hello, Eve. You’ve been a very busy woman since I last saw you.' His gaze went to the red flag. 'That’s it?'
Joe nodded. 'That’s it.'
'We’d better hope that cadaver dog has a damn good nose. I’m going to look like an idiot if he’s found a dead gopher.'
'He has a good nose,' Eve said. 'Sarah says he can tell the difference.”
“Sarah?'
'Sarah Patrick, his trainer.'
'That’s right, Joe told me about her.' Spiro turned back to Joe. 'And what if it’s not Debby Jordan?'
'Then we start searching again.'
'And I’m supposed to ignore the fact that I know Eve and the kid are here? You’re asking a lot of me. I could lose my job. Besides possibly facing criminal charges for harboring a criminal.'
'Stop dancing around, Spiro. If you hadn’t intended to deal, you wouldn’t be here. You’d have sent a squad car of Phoenix’s finest to pick us up.'
'And tell me why I shouldn’t do that?'
'We’ve given you one major lead. We may be able to get you more.'
He was silent a moment. 'The kid. Give her back to welfare and maybe we can—'
“No,' Eve said flatly. 'That’s not negotiable.' Spiro turned to her. 'Everything’s negotiable.'
'I’m not returning Jane.' She paused. 'But I’ll make it easy for you. I’ll give you what you want.'
'No,' Joe snapped.
'Be quiet, Joe. I knew it was going to come down to this.' She stared directly into Spiro’s eyes.
'I’ll give you my word to let you use me any way you want. But only if there’s no other solution.'
'And who’s to decide if there’s no other solution?”
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