'Sure, my lord,' cries the doctor, 'you are not in earnest in asking my interest for the colonel?'
'Indeed I am,' answered the peer; 'why should you doubt it?'
'For many reasons,' answered the doctor. 'First, I am an old friend and acquaintance of Mr. Fairfield, as your lordship, I believe, very well knows. The little interest, therefore, that I have, you may be assured, will go in his favour. Indeed, I do not concern myself deeply in these affairs, for I do not think it becomes my cloth so to do. But, as far as I think it decent to interest myself, it will certainly be on the side of Mr. Fairfield. Indeed, I should do so if I was acquainted with both the gentlemen only by reputation; the one being a neighbouring gentleman of a very large estate, a very sober and sensible man, of known probity and attachment to the true interest of his country; the other is a mere stranger, a boy, a soldier of fortune, and, as far as I can discern from the little conversation I have had with him, of a very shallow capacity, and no education.'
'No education, my dear friend!' cries the nobleman. 'Why, he hath been educated in half the courts of Europe.'
'Perhaps so, my lord,' answered the doctor; 'but I shall always be so great a pedant as to call a man of no learning a man of no education. And, from my own knowledge, I can aver that I am persuaded there is scarce a foot-soldier in the army who is more illiterate than the colonel.'
'Why, as to Latin and Greek, you know,' replied the lord, 'they are not much required in the army.'
'It may be so,' said the doctor. 'Then let such persons keep to their own profession. It is a very low civil capacity indeed for which an illiterate man can be qualified. And, to speak a plain truth, if your lordship is a friend to the colonel, you would do well to advise him to decline an attempt in which I am certain he hath no probability of success.'
'Well, sir,' said the lord, 'if you are resolved against us, I must deal as freely with you, and tell you plainly I cannot serve you in your affair. Nay, it will be the best thing I can do to hold my tongue; for, if I should mention his name with your recommendation after what you have said, he would perhaps never get provided for as long as he lives.'
'Is his own merit, then, my lord, no recommendation?' cries the doctor.
'My dear, dear sir,' cries the other, 'what is the merit of a subaltern officer?'
'Surely, my lord,' cries the doctor, 'it is the merit which should recommend him to the post of a subaltern officer. And it is a merit which will hereafter qualify him to serve his country in a higher capacity. And I do assure of this young man, that he hath not only a good heart but a good head too. And I have been told by those who are judges that he is, for his age, an excellent officer.'
'Very probably!' cries my lord. 'And there are abundance with the same merit and the same qualifications who want a morsel of bread for themselves and their families.'
'It is an infamous scandal on the nation,' cries the doctor; 'and I am heartily sorry it can be said even with a colour of truth.'
'How can it be otherwise?' says the peer. 'Do you think it is possible to provide for all men of merit?'
'Yes, surely do I,' said the doctor; 'and very easily too.'
'How, pray?' cries the lord. 'Upon my word, I shall be glad to know.'
'Only by not providing for those who have none. The men of merit in any capacity are not, I am afraid, so extremely numerous that we need starve any of them, unless we wickedly suffer a set of worthless fellows to eat their bread.'
'This is all mere Utopia,' cries his lordship; 'the chimerical system of Plato's commonwealth, with which we amused ourselves at the university; politics which are inconsistent with the state of human affairs.'
