Good Luck, Yukikaze

with people at all, do you?”

“Because your attitude is constantly changing on me.”

“I haven’t changed one bit. Or maybe you’re asking me to wear a little meter on my chest that’ll tell you when I’m angry or sad, in a good mood or a bad one.”

“That’d actually be a big help to me,” Rei said.

“Even if I did wear one, you wouldn’t look at it. Or maybe you would, but you wouldn’t understand it. That’s the sort of person you are. You should restrict your lovers’ quarrels to Yukikaze. She’s got plenty of meters for you to read.” And with that Captain Foss stalked off.

I think I’m the one being used as an emotional outlet here, Rei thought. More taken aback than shocked, he followed after her.

Still, he thought, I have to take my hat off to her powers of insight. Captain Foss had transferred into the SAF only a short time ago, but she already understood very well what Yukikaze meant to him. While Rei had been busy lately seeing what changes were going on in Yukikaze, this doctor had observed changes in him instead.

Feelings of being jilted was what Captain Foss had called it. In response to Yukikaze’s peculiar actions lately, he found himself feeling as though he’d been betrayed by his lover. Having the fact pointed out to him, he had no choice but to agree.

But Yukikaze wasn’t that sort of companion. Their relationship wasn’t the sweet one of lovers, and he could see that now. It was much harsher than that. Yukikaze would cast him away if he wasn’t able to provide what she asked of him. That wouldn’t lead to an emotion as sentimental as being jilted. Being cast aside by Yukikaze was a matter of whether or not his life had meaning.

Much as he didn’t want to talk about his feelings of abandonment, there was no denying that he did feel fear in his heart. Captain Foss had pointed out something like that to him.

Not understanding and then being abandoned. He hated that. No, there was a perfectly straightforward way he could express it.

“I...” Rei had stopped again. He turned his head to look back and murmured, “I’m afraid of Yukikaze.”

That was how he really felt, the true feelings he felt toward her that he hadn’t wanted to admit. Actually saying the words made him shiver.

He was being warned of a coming separation from the companion with whom he thought he’d shared a deep relationship. And Rei knew that the cause of his estrangement from Yukikaze was from some internal trait or deficiency of his.

Just as Captain Foss had pointed out, he didn’t know how to get along with other people. Even though it was so simple. Strangers are other people, and he and other people were all beings who lived in different worlds, internal worlds. Rei would have been better off if he’d just acknowledged the truth. Real relationships started from there. Whether between enemies or lovers, it didn’t matter. In short, up till then, he’d never actually had a relationship with anybody. Not even with Yukikaze.

Major Booker had told him the same thing, but he hadn’t been able to acknowledge his true feelings before. He hadn’t been able to admit that he was afraid of Yukikaze now. I’ve never really feared others, and so no one has ever feared me. That’s why others tell me, “I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

The thing he needed to fear now was Yukikaze. After that, the JAM. Rei realized that he’d never really feared the enemy before. Talking with Captain Foss had allowed him to see that.

“It’s okay, Captain Fukai,” Captain Foss said, turning to face him. “You’ll be able to get control of Yukikaze. And even if you don’t, no one will blame you for it. You know Yukikaze better than anyone else.”

“I can’t even have an argument with her.”

“So keep close watch on those meters. Use her gauges to have your arguments. That’d suit you better, anyway.”

Rei considered her words.

“You’re right,” he said at last. “You’re absolutely right. You’re a hell of a doctor, Captain Foss.”

There was no need to do away with his fear. The effort to eliminate his fear would be immense, because the problem here wasn’t that he shouldn’t fly Yukikaze if he was afraid.

What he wanted to do was convey the truth of his fear of her to Yukikaze, and the only way to do that would be to read her gauges — and also read the data they didn’t reveal — and then act in accordance. If it worked, then Yukikaze might fear him the way he feared her. Or Yukikaze might possibly take action to indicate that she didn’t want him to fear her. At any rate, he could guess that she was going to fight him. If he could prevent her from resisting his attempts to communicate, she would refuse to accept his control. They would, in effect, be arguing. And any opponent you could argue with, you can negotiate with as well. He’d never taken his relationship with Yukikaze this far before. He didn’t know if it would work. He didn’t even know if any of this was a good idea, but that was how these things went.

“Thank you, Captain Fukai,” said Captain Foss in response to Rei’s compliment about her skill as a doctor. The words were cold, and her expression didn’t look very thankful.

Well, what else could he expect? He’d said he didn’t like her without really understanding what it was he was saying. He doubted she’d be genuinely happy for his breakthrough. Still, to him, this doctor was like bitter medicine. Even if he didn’t like her, she was still necessary.

Thinking that, Rei said nothing else and headed off for the meeting. Major Booker, looking royally pissed, waved for them to hurry up.

4

“WHAT THE HELL are those two doing?” wondered Major Booker aloud. They were just standing there talking as though they’d forgotten how important this thing he’d called them out for was. Maybe Rei was talking about what had happened with Yukikaze. Even so, it was rare to see him so engrossed in a conversation. Captain Foss looked angry, like they were having a fight. Since when had those two gotten close enough to start having arguments with each other?

Well, I can find out what they’re talking about later, he thought. As the two of them began walking again, he looked to their rear.

There sat Llanfabon, her nose pointed directly at them. He’d ordered that all conversation at this meeting be collected and recorded with the plane’s super directional microphones. Behind her sat Yukikaze, whom he hadn’t ordered to be there.

She probably didn’t care what the humans thought of her ignoring them and coming out here on her own. But whatever her reasons for coming, it’s not worth getting too worried about, Major Booker decided.

Yukikaze had used the SAF’s command system while her pilot, Rei, was aboard her and then come out. That would have been impossible had he not been there. Her operational objectives were simple and clear: seek out and destroy the JAM.

It was really very easy to understand. If Yukikaze possessed emotions, then she feared the JAM. That was manifesting in Yukikaze’s behavior.

Her behavior was consistent. The question to be considered was this: would her fear of the JAM become a threat to humans? But there was no need to make her understand their situation. Having her think about the humans’ circumstances and then take action accordingly would practically make Yukikaze human herself. Demands like that would just degrade her abilities in combat. She was an emotionless combat machine. That was what made her effective against the JAM. If there were any demands to be made of Yukikaze, they would be to protect herself and her crew, and nothing more. That would be enough.

The two of them finally arrived. Captain Foss saluted. Rei followed her lead, although his salute was a bit more casual.

“You’re late,” said Major Booker.

“Stuff happened,” said Rei. “It doesn’t look like the guests of honor have arrived yet. Don’t tell me the three of us are out here for an office barbecue. Who else is coming? Some VIP from Earth?”

On the short purplish Faery grass of a small clearing to the side of the control tower, a barbecue grill had been set up. A folding table and six chairs were set for a picnic. Where had all of this stuff come from? Rei wondered. It felt more like a garden party with a chef than a picnic on a lawn. There was even a man wearing chef’s whites standing at the grill, checking the burners.