needed instead of me doing it all myself,” That’s something that I’m trying to share with other wives, also. I think we have it in our heads (because it’s drilled into our culture) that we have to be strong for everybody, but often we can’t be. We just can’t. But God is the strongest when we are the weakest. That’s what we have to remember and focus on we’re not supposed to have it all together.”
The Horns are expecting a second deployment in 2011, and Sara is hoping to use what she has learned so far. “God has taught me so much about leaning on him and finding strength,” she said. “I haven’t learned it all, but if I can just share what I’m learning with someone else. It makes it all worth it. God put us here to share our struggles and help each other.”
As Americans, we pride ourselves on having a can-do attitude, but may we remember that without Christ, we can do nothing.
Lord, don’t let me pride and self-sufficiency prevent me from relying on your strength.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)
September 9
ENCOURAGED BY COMMUNITY
New Year’s Eve, 2002. Friends from our church snapped a photo of my husband Scott and me together as we prepared to toast in the New Year. And what a year it would be. God was calling Scott to full-time ministry in the U.S. Army as a chaplain, and we were somewhat excited about the new military adventure that lay ahead. But things were heating up in Iraq and our New Year’s celebration was tainted with a bit of anxiety as we faced impending deployment and many unknowns.
While Scott served in the National Guard, I was accustomed to him being gone one weekend a month, and one month in the year, but the army? I knew nothing about the army. How long would Scott be deployed? Would there be chemical weapons involved? One thing I was certain of was that in three months I was going to be delivering our third child, and my husband was not going to be present.
My mother-in-law kept me occupied on the day of Scott’s departure. On the second day of deployment, one of our church friends brought us lunch and stayed to eat with us. Evidence of God’s provision continued to show through his children: prayers, meals, companionship, childcare, and other gestures of support and encouragement.
In mid-March the invasion into Iraq began, and with parting words of love, encouragement, and prayers for my husband, I wrote “Know that we will be fine… don’t worry about us. You know that so many people are caring for us here.”
I was raised to be independent and help myself, so it was awkward to receive the extra attention. Being on the receiving end was hard to swallow. I did not want to be portrayed as needy or helpless. But when I look back at our first deployment, I fondly recall what it truly feels like to experience Christian community. We were surrounded by people who loved us and cared about us. God used his church and our family to tangibly embrace us during those uncertain months.
Lord, help me be humble enough to allow others to serve me when I need it.
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)
September 10
OPERATION WE ARE HERE
It was July 28, 2005. The kids and I arrived home from dropping Scott off at the airport to a driveway littered with his residual attempts of packing for Qatar. Two years prior, our family left this civilian community for our new military installation. We had returned home for Scott’s second deployment, counting on the support we expected from the people who knew us best.
I adopted a genuine, “I can do this” attitude about the deployment. But I couldn’t do it alone, and most good intentions to help, from the people we loved fell by the wayside. As I struggled to take care of our young children (ages two, four, and six years old), I felt alone and abandoned. At one point I bordered depression. I tried my best to smile, to fake like all was okay, and to convince myself it was. But it wasn’t.
Upon my husband’s return we PCS’d (permanent change of station), I carried residual hurt and anger. Many nights I would lie awake and ask God, “What do I do with this?” and “Where do I go from here?”
As time passed I heard other military wives share their stories of hurt and disappointment because of the lack of support from their churches. I realized that our churches and others who loved us do not intentionally forsake their support they just don’t understand our struggles. To create an awareness of the challenges of the military home front, the website Operation We Are Here was born. This became a site to offer practical suggestions, support, and encouragement.
Over time, God removed my hurts and redeemed a very painful year for His glory. I was committed to honor him despite my circumstances. I learned by experience that people (even those who love us) will disappoint us and that our circumstances hold no guarantees. But importantly, I was reminded that God will not abandon me. He is good, and I continue to put my hope and my trust in Him.
Father, when life is tough and just doesn’t make sense, help me to take my eyes off of myself and lift my gaze to You, for only You can satisfy.
“Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup, and have made my lot secure.” (Psalm 16:5)
September 11
BRAVE FACE, TENDER HEART
No one ever told Sonja Mannarino that deployment would be easy. But no one told her it would be this hard, either.
Her daughter was fifteen and her sons were eleven and four years old when her husband of sixteen years deployed. While Jason encountered enemy fire in Iraq, Sonja felt like the home front was under attack as well. Her four-year-old son cried for days after saying goodbye to his daddy, especially at night because Jason always tucked him into bed. Her eleven-year-old son went through depression and gained a lot of weight, eating to fill the void where his dad had been.
“It was hard for him. He was Dad’s helper working on cars or in the yard together,” said Sonja. “He had a lot of anger too and took it out on me verbally. I had to sit down with him and say, ‘What you’re doing is not right.’ It tore my heart out because there was nothing I could do.”
