'For Cassie, it's not enough to let her know you love her, you want her. You let her know you need her. That's a woman who'd go to the wall for a man who needed her.'
He did need her, Devin thought when Jared had shut the door behind him. But he didn't know how to show her, and wasn't entirely sure he should. Wasn't that just the kind of pressure he was struggling not to put on her?
He didn't want Cassie to go to the wall for him. He only wanted her to feel safe and happy. No, it was up to him to see that she was never hurt again, to protect her, to shield her and the children.
His need could wait.
Chapter 10
Cassie told herself it was foolish to worry. Devin was fine. Rafe had told her the story himself, and she knew that his version of the attempted bank robbery was much more accurate than those she'd heard over the phone. Even Connor's report, given in fits and starts of desperate excitement, had been less dramatic than the gossip spewing out of the town.
So there was no need to worry.
She was so worried, she jumped each time the phone rang. If she'd been able to leave the inn and the children for an hour, she'd have dashed into town to check every inch of Devin herself.
One thought, one fact, kept running in a loop in her brain. He'd faced down a man with a gun.
She shuddered again, and gave up trying to block the picture from her mind. He'd walked into an armed robbery, risked his life to protect others. His badge had never taken on such huge proportions for her before. He'd risked his life. In the day-to-day business of a town like Antietam, a sheriff's work was more diplomacy—or so she'd imagined—than risk.
Of course, now, she began to see that had been foolish of her. There were fights, drunks, break-ins, hot tempers between neighbors and families. She had personal knowledge of the dangers of domestic disputes—that tidy term for the violence that could happen behind closed doors.
He was in charge. And while Connor might see him as a hero, she began to see just how vulnerable the badge made him.
Because she did, she also realized that the worry that ate at her all through the long afternoon and evening wasn't just for a friend, a lover, not just for a man she admired and cared for. It was for the man she loved.
It had taken something unexpected, shocking, to open her eyes. Now that they were open, she could look back. Almost as far back as she could remember, Devin had been there. She had depended on him, admired him and in some ways, she supposed, taken his place in her life for granted.
It had been humiliating to go to him and admit what Joe had done to her, to show him the marks, to describe how she had come by them. Not just because he'd been the sheriff, she thought now. Because he had been Devin.
She'd always been more shy around him than around his brothers. Because, she thought again, he'd been Devin. Part of her heart had always been set aside for him. So she had never been able to look at him as just one of the MacKades, or just her friend, or just the sheriff.
She'd always felt something more. Now she was free, and she could let those feelings out. She could admit that it wasn't just part of her heart that belonged to him, but all of it.
All of her.
Through the worry came the wonder, and with it the joy. She loved.
When the phone rang, she raced to it like a madwoman, then struggled to keep her voice calm when Savannah greeted her.
'Hi, I guess you've heard the big news by now.'
'No one's talking about anything else.' To calm herself, Cassie reached over to the refrigerator and took out a pitcher of juice. 'Have you seen Devin since it happened?'
'Not personally. Jared has. He says our big, bad sheriff is annoyed with all the glory. A television crew came down from Hagerstown, and the paper's been here.' Because she understood Cassie's silence perfectly, she softened her voice. 'He's fine, Cassandra. Not a scratch. Just grumbling because this whole business is going to keep him tied up for a while. Are you all right?'
'Me?' Cassie stared at the juice she'd poured. 'I'm fine. I'm just concerned.'
'I know. I have to admit that by the time Bryan finished giving me the play-by-play, I was pretty concerned myself. But the one thing we can all be sure of is that Devin MacKade can handle himself.'
'Yes.' Cassie picked up the glass, set it down again. 'He can. I guess there's no one who needs anyone worrying about him less than Devin.' But why hadn't he called?
'Listen, I really called to ask you a favor.'
'Sure. What can I do?'
'You can give my temper a break and send Connor over for the night. Bryan's been nagging me since he got home from the great bank robbery.'
'Oh.' Cassie peeked out the window into the yard, where Connor and Emma were playing with the cat. 'He'd love it, if you're sure.'
There was a crash, and Cassie could hear Savannah yell, 'Bryan MacKade, if you break a window with that baseball, you're not only out of the game, you're suspended for the season!
'Yes, I'm sure,' she said to Cassie, with feeling, when she returned to talk in the receiver. 'But there's more. Can we have Emma, too?'
'Emma? You want Emma to spend the night?'
'Jared has this idea that we'd better start practicing with girls. We sure know boys, and he started thinking that once Layla starts growing up, we'll be lost.' She laughed, and Cassie heard the baby coo. 'So, how about giving us Emma for the experiment? We swear we'll turn her back over in one piece.'
'She'd be thrilled. But, Savannah, you'd have four to deal with.'
'Yeah. We've decided that's our magic number. If you know what I mean.'
'Four?' It was Cassie's turn to chuckle. 'Well, you're going to need plenty of practice, then.'
'Let's just see how we survive one night. Pack them up, will you, Cassie? Jared will walk over through the woods and get them.'
'On one condition. You'll call, anytime, if you want to bail out.'
'You've got my word on that one.' There was another crash, and something shattered. 'All right, Bryan, now you have to die. Hurry, Cassie—I have to believe there's safety in numbers.'
Though it tugged at her heart a little, Cassie supervised the overnight packing, while her children bristled with excitement. They were so eager to go, and she tried not to fret that it was Emma's first sleepover.
She made certain they had clean clothes, toothbrushes, instructions on how to behave. They even took the cat. When they trooped off toward the woods with Jared, she was completely, utterly alone.
With too much time, she realized, to think, to brood, to worry.
She went down to the inn, found the handful of guests well occupied and content. Still, she set up cake and coffee in the parlor, offered complimentary wine to those playing cards in the sunroom.
Seeing that she wasn't needed, she set the table for breakfast, and checked her pantry and refrigerator, though she knew she was well supplied for the large Sunday breakfast the inn was becoming renowned for.
At loose ends, she wandered outside. She wasn't used to having nothing to do, no one to look after. Certainly, she had often fantasized about how she would spend an evening alone. A bubble bath, a book, a late movie on television.
That was what she would do, she told herself. As soon as she ran into town and made sure Devin was really fine.
She dashed up the stairs, then let out a yelp when she saw the shadowy figure on the porch swing.
'I saw you were busy,' Devin said. 'Thought I'd wait.'
She still had a hand against her speeding heart. 'I thought you had to stay in town.'
'I dragooned Donnie into staying at the office. It's the least he can do, after he left me with the phones all damn afternoon.' He held out a bouquet of yellow tea roses. 'I brought you flowers. I was going by the florist and remembered I'd never brought you flowers. I know you like them.'
'They're beautiful.'
