from Indiana and chops her up, just by coincidence. You figure?'
'Coincidences happen all the time,' I said, 'but no, I don't think it was coincidence.' God, I felt tired. I said, 'I don't much want the case.'
'Why not?'
I thought, Because I don't want to have to do anything. I want to sit in a dark corner and turn the world off. I want a drink, damn it.
'You could use the money,' he said.
That was true enough. I hadn't gotten all that much mileage out of my last fee. And my son Mickey needed braces on his teeth, and after that there'd be something else.
I said, 'I've got to think it over.'
'All right.'
'I can't concentrate right now. I need a little time to sort out my thoughts.'
'How much time?'
Months, I thought. 'A couple of hours. I'll call you sometime tonight. Is there a number where I can reach you or do I just call the service?'
'Pick a time,' he said. 'I'll meet you in front of your hotel.'
'You don't have to do that.'
'It's too easy to say no over the phone. I figure the odds are better face to face. Besides, if the answer's yes we'll want to talk some. And you'll want some money from me.'
I shrugged.
'Pick a time.'
'Ten?'
'In front of your hotel.'
'All right,' I said. 'If I had to answer now, it'd be no.'
'Then it's good you got until ten.'
He paid for the coffee. I didn't put up a fight.
I went back to the hotel and up to the room. I tried to think straight and couldn't. I couldn't seem to sit
still, either. I kept moving from the bed to the chair and back again, wondering why I hadn't given him a final no right away. Now I had the aggravation of getting through the hours until ten o'clock and then finding the resolve to turn down what he was offering.
Without thinking too much about what I was doing I put on my hat and coat and went around the corner to Armstrong's. I walked in the door not knowing what I was going to order. I went up to the bar and Billie started shaking his head when he saw me coming. He said, 'I can't serve you, Matt. I'm sorry as hell.'
I felt the color mounting in my face. I was embarrassed and I was angry. I said, 'What are you talking about? Do I look drunk to you?'
'No.'
'Then how the hell did I get to be eighty-six around here?'
His eyes avoided mine. 'I don't make the rules,' he said. 'I'm not saying you're not welcome here.
Coffee or a Coke or a meal, hell, you're a valued longtime customer. But I'm not allowed to sell you booze.'
'Who says?'
'The boss says. When you were in here the other night—'
Oh, God. I said, 'I'm sorry about that, Billie. I'll tell you the truth, I had a couple of bad nights. I didn't even know I came in here.'
'Don't worry about it.'
Christ, I wanted to hide behind something. 'Was I very bad, Billie?
Did I make trouble?'
'Aw, shit,' he said. 'You were drunk, you know? It happens, right? I used to have this Irish landlady, I came in bagged one night and apologized the next day, and she would say, 'Jaysus, son, it could happen to a bishop.' You didn't make any trouble, Matt.'
'Then—'
'Look,' he said, and leaned forward. 'I'll just repeat what I was told. He told me, he said, if the guy wants to drink himself to death I can't stop him, and if he wants to come in here he's welcome, but I'm not selling him the booze. This isn't me talking, Matt. I'm just saying what was said.'
'I understand.'
'If it was up to me—'
'I didn't come in for a drink anyway,' I said. 'I came in for coffee.'
'In that case—'
