The Chatham School Affair

under suspicion?Witness: Like she didn’t care.Mr. Parsons: What gave you that impression?Witness: What she said, and the way she said it.

She lifted her head in a gesture that made her look very nearly prideful, and said, “As a matter of fact, Mr. Reed will be here in just a few minutes.”

“I could draw you until he comes,” I told her. “Even if it’s only for a few minutes.” I took a short, uneasy step toward her, the afternoon light flooding over me from the courtyard window. “Just for practice.”

“Where do you want me?” she asked.

I nodded toward the wooden table that served as her desk. “Just sitting at your desk would be fine,” I said.Mr. Parsons: And so Miss Channing posed for you that afternoon? Witness: It wasn’t exactly a pose. She just sat at her desk, working, while I drew.Mr. Parsons: How long did she do that?Witness: For about an hour, I guess. Until Mr. Reed came for her. By then it was getting dark.Mr. Parsons: As a matter of fact, it was already dark enough for you to turn on the light in the room, isn’t that right, Henry?Witness: Well, I could see her, but I needed more light, yes.Mr. Parsons: What I’m trying to make clear is that it was very late in the afternoon by the time Mr. Reed came to Miss Channing’s room.Witness: Yes, it was.Mr. Parsons: Could it reasonably be said that all the other teachers had left Chatham School by then?Witness: Yes.Mr. Parsons: And where were the other students?Witness: In the dormitory, most of them. On the second floor. It was almost time for dinner.Mr. Parsons: And so, when Mr. Reed arrived at Miss Channing’s room, he probably expected to find her alone, is that right?Witness: Yes.Mr. Parsons: And when Miss Channing saw Mr. Reed come into her room, did you notice any reaction from her?Witness: Yes, I did.Mr. Parsons: What was that reaction?

Miss Channing’s eyes suddenly brightened, I told the court, and she smiled. “I thought you’d forgotten me,” she said, her eyes gazing toward the front of the room.

I glanced over my shoulder and saw Mr. Reed standing at the door, leaning on his cane.

“Am I interrupting something, Elizabeth?” he asked as he stepped farther into the room, his eyes drifting over to me, then back to Miss Channing.

“No,” she answered. “Henry just wanted to practice his drawing.” She rose and began to gather up her things. “We’ll have to continue this some other time,” she said to me.

I nodded and started to close the sketchbook, but by that time Mr. Reed had come down the aisle, his eyes on my drawing.

“Not bad,” he said, “but the eyes need something.” He looked at Miss Channing. “It would be hard to capture your eyes.”

She smiled at him softly. “I’m ready,” she said as she walked toward the front of the room. Mr. Reed stepped back and opened the door for her, then watched as she passed through it. “Coming, Henry?” he asked, glancing back into the room. I closed my sketchbook and walked out into the courtyard, where Miss Channing stood beside the tree, a few books hugged to her chest.

“Well, good night, Henry,” she said as Mr. Reed joined her, the two of them now moving through the courtyard and into the school, I trailing behind at a short distance.Mr. Parsons: So you were more or less following Miss Channing and Mr. Reed, is that right?Witness: Yes. But I stopped at the front door of the school. They went on to the parking lot. Toward Mr. Reed’s car. Then they drove away.Mr. Parsons: Do you know where they went?Witness: I later found out where they went.Mr. Parsons: How did you find that out, Henry? Witness: Mr. Reed told me. The next day. On the way to Boston.Mr. Parsons: So by this time you and Mr. Reed had developed the sort of relationship that allowed him to confide such things in you?Witness: Yes, we had.Mr. Parsons: Could you describe the nature of that relationship?

It was in answer to that question that I told my only he upon the witness stand, one whose enduring cruelty I had not considered until I told it. “Mr. Reed was like a father to me,” I told Mr. Parsons, then glanced over to see my own father staring at me, a mournful question in his eyes. Then what was I to you, my son?

CHAPTER 15

Despite the answer I gave to Mr. Parsons that day, Mr. Reed was never really like a father to me. Nor like a brother nor even a friend. Instead, we seemed to move forward on parallel conspiracies, the two of us lost in separate but related fantasies, his focused on Miss Channing, mine upon a liberated life, both of us oblivious of what might happen should our romantic dreams converge.

It had developed rapidly, my relationship with Mr. Reed, so that only a few weeks after we’d begun to work on the boat together, it had already assumed the ironclad form that would mark it from then on, Mr. Reed still vaguely in the role of teacher, I in the role of student, but with an unexpected collusion that went beyond all that, as if we were privy to things others did not know, depositories of truths the world was too cowardly to admit.

To the other teachers and students of Chatham School during those last few months, we must have seemed a curious pair, Mr. Reed walking slowly with his cane, I trailing along beside him with a sketchbook beneath my arm, the two of us sometimes making our way up the lighthouse stairs, to stand at its circular iron railing, Mr. Reed pointing the tip of his cane out to sea, as if indicating some far, perhaps impossible place he yearned to sail for. “Past Monomoy Point, it’s open sea,” he told me once. “There’d be nothing to stop you after that.”

We drove to Boston together the day before he was set to leave for Maine with Mrs. Reed and his daughter. He’d wanted to buy a breastplate for the boat, along with some rigging. “The really elegant things are in Boston,” he explained. “Things that are made not just to be used, but to be … admired.”

We took the old route that curved along the coast, through Harwichport and Dennis, past Hyannis, and farther, until we reached the canal. It was no more than a muddy ditch in those days, Sagamore Bridge not yet built, so that we rumbled across the wooden trellis that had been flung over the water years before, a rattling construct of steel and timber, functional but inelegant, as Mr. Reed described it, the way much of life appeared to be.

Once over the bridge, the Cape receding behind me, I looked back. “You know what Miss Channing said when she saw the Cape for the first time?” I asked.

Mr. Reed shook his head.

“That it looked tormented,” I told him. “Like a martyr.”