The Riddle Of The Third Mile

severe dismemberment.

The case was working out well enough, thought Lewis, as he drove Morse back through Summertown. The shops were in the same order as they’d been two hours earlier when he had driven past them: the RAG building, Budgens, Straw Hat Bakery, Allied Carpets, Chicken Barbecue… yes, just the same. It was only a question of seeing them in reverse order now, tracing them backwards, as it were. Just like this case. Morse had traced things backwards fairly well thus far, if somewhat haphazardly… And he wanted to ask Morse two questions, though he knew better than to interrupt the great man’s thoughts in transit.

In Morse’s mind, too, far more was surfacing from the murky waters of a local canal than a bloated, mutilated corpse that had been dragged in by a boat-hook as it threatened to drift down again and out of reach. Other things had been surfacing all the way along the towpath, as clue had followed clue. One thing at least was fairly firmly established: the murderer-whoever that might be-had either been quite extraordinarily subtle, or quite – inordinately stupid, in going to the lengths of dismembering a body, and then leaving it in its own clothes. If it was in its own suit… Lewis had done his job; and Lewis was sure that the *nt was Browne-Smith’s. But what about the body? Oh yes, •deed – but what about the body?

Back in Morse’s office, Lewis launched into his questions: ‘It’s pretty certainly Browne-Smith’s body, don’t you think, sir?’

‘Don’t know.’

‘But surely-’

‘I said I don’t bloody know!’

So, Lewis, after a decent interval, asked his other question: ‘Don’t you think it’s a bit of a coincidence that you and this Gilbert fellow should have a bad tooth at the same time?’

Morse appeared to find this an infinitely more interesting question, and he made no immediate reply. Then he shook his head decisively. ‘No. Coincidences are far more commonplace than any of us are willing to accept. It’s this whole business of chance, Lewis. We don’t go in much for talking about chance and luck, and what a huge part they play in all our lives. But the Greeks did-and the Romans; they both used to worship the goddess of luck. And if you must go on about coincidences, you just go home tonight and find the forty-sixth word from the beginning of the forty-sixth psalm, and the forty-sixth word from the end of it- and see what you land up with! Authorized Version, by the way.’

‘Say that again, sir?’

‘Forget it, Lewis! Now, listen! Let’s just get back to this case we’re landed with and what we were talking about at lunch-time. If our murderer wants his victim to be identified, he does not-repeat not chop his head off. Quite apart from the facial features-features that could be recognized by some myopic moron from thirty yards away-you’ve got your balding head, your missing mandibles, and whatever-even the angle of your ears; and all of those things are going to lead to a certain identification. Somebody’s going to know who he is, whether he’s been floating in the Mississippi for a fortnight, or whether he’s been up in Thrupp for three months. Agreed? And if our murderer is still anxious for his corpse to be identified, he does not – repeat not cut his hands off, either. Because that removes at one fell chop the one thing we know that gives him a unique and unquestionable individuality-his fingerprints!’

‘What about the legs, sir?’

‘Shut up a minute! And for Christ’s sake try to follow’ I’m telling you! It’s hard enough for me!’

‘I’m not finding much trouble, sir.’

‘All I’m saying is that if the murderer wants the body to be recognized, he doesn’t chop off his head and he doesn’t chop off his hands-agreed?’

Lewis nodded: he agreed.

‘And yet, Lewis, there are two other clues that lead quite dearly to a positive identification of the body; the suit-quite certainly now it seems it was Browne-Smith’s suit; and then the letter- almost as certainly that was written to Browne-Smith. All right, it wasn’t all that obvious; but you’d hardly need to be a Shylock-’

‘ “Sherlock”, sir.’

‘You see what I’m getting at, though?’

Lewis pondered the question, and finally answered, ‘No.’

Morse, too, was beginning to wonder whether he himself was following the drift of his own logic, but he’d always had the greatest faith in the policy of mouthing the most improbable notions, in the sure certainty that by the law of averages some of them stood a more reasonable chance of being nearer to the truth than others. So he burbled on.

‘Just suppose for a minute, Lewis, that the body isn’t Browne-Smith’s, but that somebody wanted it to look like his. All right? Now, if the murderer had left us the head, or the hands or both, then we could have been quite sure that the body wasn’t Browne- Smith’s, couldn’t we? As we know, Browne-Smith was suffering from an incurable brain-tumour, and with a skull stuc on the table in front of him even old Max might have been able to tell us there was something not all that healthy round the cerebral cortex-even if the facial features were badly disfigured. It’s just the same with the hands-quite apart from fingerprints. Browne-Smith lost most of his right index-finger in the war, and not even your micro-surgeons can stick an artificial digit on your hand without even a delinquent like Dickson spotting it. So, if the hands, or at least the right hand, had been left attached to the body, and if all the fingers were intact -then again we’d have been quite sure that the body wasn’t Browne- Smith’s. You follow me? The two things that could have proved that the body wasn’t his are both deliberately and callously removed.’

Lewis frowned, just about managing to follow the line of Morse’s argument. ‘But what about the suit? What about the letter?’

‘All I’m saying, Lewis, is that perhaps someone’s been trying mighty hard to convince us that it was Browne-Smith’s body, that’s all.’

‘Aren’t you making it all a bit too complicated?’

‘Could be,’ conceded Morse.

‘I’m just a bit lost, you see, sir. We’re usually looking for a murderer, aren’t we? We’ve never had all this trouble with a body before.’

Morse nodded. ‘But we’re getting to know more about the murderer all the time! He’s a very clever chap. He tries to lead us astray about the identity of the body, and he very nearly succeeds.’

‘So?’

‘So he’s almost as clever as we are; and most of the clever people I know are-guess where, Lewis!’

‘In the police force?’

Morse allowed himself a weak smile, but continued with his previous earnestness. ‘In the University of Oxford! And what’s more, I reckon I’ve got a jolly good idea about exactly which member of the University it is!’

‘Uh?’ Lewis looked across at his chief with surprise-and suspicion.

But Morse was off again. ‘Let’s just finish off this corpse. We’re left with those legs, right? Now we’ve got some ideas about the head and the hands, but why chop the legs off?’

‘Perhaps he lost a toe in a swimming accident off Bermuda or somewhere. Got his foot caught in the propeller of a boat or something.’

Morse was suddenly very still in his chair, for Lewis’s flippant answer had lit another sputtering fuse. He reached for the phone, rang through on an internal extension to Superintendent Strange, and (to Lewis’s complete surprise) asked for two more frogmen-if possible immediately-to search the bottom of the canal by Aubrey’s Bridge.

‘Now about those legs,’ resumed Morse. ‘At what point would you say they were chopped off?’

‘Well, sort of here, sir.’ Lewis vaguely put his hand on his femur. ‘About half-way between -’

‘Between pelvis and patella, that’s right. Half-way, through, you say? if we don’t know how long his thighs were to start with, where exactly is that “half-way” of yours? It may have been meant to look half-way-’