Jan

'It was not an easy decision to reach.'

Pause. (Geez, I knew what he was up to, and*I* was getting tense!) 'In fact, it's one of the most difficult decisions I've ever had to make.'

Pause.

'Before I reached that decision, I even talked it over with Dan for a bit.'

Pause. Jan shoots a furtive look at my blank face.

'Dan was kind enough to point out some options that had not occurred to me.'

Pause.

'Among those was to simply take full control of your life until such time as you are 18 years of age, and thus free to make your own decisions – when you left my house.'

Pause. The glimmerings of fear on Jan's face.

'That was not the choice I made.'

Pause.

'I made another one.'

Pause. (Christ, Paul, get it over with, willya? You're gonna give me a heart attack!)

'The decision I finally settled on did not come to me easily.'

Pause.

'No, not easily at all.'

Pause.

'I asked you to join us so that you could hear that decision.'

Pause.

'That decision is that if you are determined to no longer be a virgin, I will not interfere.'

Jan gasped. But before she could say anything, Paul went on: 'I said that I will not interfere. But I will not help, either. Who you choose is up to you; getting their approval or assistance is YOUR problem, not mine.'

Jan gasped again, and immediately turned to look at me.

I looked back at her, completely without expression.

'Uncle Dan? Would you?'

'I don't know why I should, Jan. You brought this up with your dad in my presence, which wasn't a polite thing to do. You involved me without asking or consulting me, or even warning me that something was up.

That's hardly the way to treat someone that you want to do you a kindness. It was rude, it was inconsiderate, and it was incredibly presumptuous.'

Her face fell as she realized that I was (apparently) serious, and understood that what I was telling her was entirely correct.

I let her sit there for a bit, until finally saying 'But I love you almost as much as if you were my own daughter, and I will agree to your request – IF you can convince me that you're really ready for such a serious step.'

She perked up, of course, almost instantly. But before she could speak again, I continued.

'However, out of consideration for your father, I think you should show him the consideration of not bothering him with the details of how you prove that readiness. What you have told him and asked of me has caused him considerable anxiety; it would be entirely appropriate for you to try and minimize the stress he is under by not burdening him with details that he is better off not knowing. Whether or not you are able to prove your readiness to me' – she looked surprised at the possibility she might not be able to – 'whenever you do lose your virginity, it is not something that you need to share with your father – either in the time or method of it's happening. No matter how grown up you are, or get, he is always going to think of you as his 'little girl', and such intimate details only serve to discomfort him in ways that you will only understand when YOU are a parent.'

I knew I was laying it on kind of thick, and really hitting those 'father' bits, but I wanted to give her an idea of what she'd done to Paul, and to a lesser extent, me. So by the time I finished that little spiel, she's gotten wet around the eyes, was sniffling, and was looking at both of us with the realization that she'd been a genuine turd.

Looking at Paul, she was finally able to say 'I'm sorry, Daddy. I did this wrong, and I'm sorry I hurt you; I really didn't mean to. I hope you can forgive me.'

Turning to me, she said 'Uncle Dan, I'm sorry about how I treated you, too. You're right, and I've been a real stinker about all of this. Thank you for giving me a chance, even after the way I've acted.'

She sat there, sniffling, for a couple minutes before Paul told her 'It's okay, honey. I do forgive you, for the same reason that made me act the way I did: because I LOVE you. But please, don't ever be like that again, will you? It hurts me too much to see you like that.'

Shaking her head, she jumped up and quickly moved over to him, sitting in his lap and hugging him while she quietly cried on his shoulder. He held her, and softly patted her back until she had calmed down a bit.

Standing up, she told him 'Thank you, Daddy.'

He answered her by saying 'It's okay. But the one you need to thank is Dan – he's the one that helped me understand all this, and figure out a way to keep both of us from getting too hurt.'

Turning to me, she looked at me with a questioning expression on her face, and I opened my arms, as well. In nothing flat, she was in my lap, too, crying again into my chest. I held her, and spoke softly to her, telling her that she was forgiven, and that it would be okay.

Eventually, she dried up enough to get up, and go back to the chair she'd been sitting in.

Looking at us both, she said 'I understand now what I did to you – both of you. I'm really, truly sorry, and I promise that I will never do anything like that again. There's no reason to hurt someone you love like that, no matter WHAT the reason; I know that, now, and I'll never forget it,ever. Uh, if I can be excused, I'd like to go to my room, if it's okay, Daddy?'

'Of course, Pumpkin.'

With his words, she quickly stood, and hurried back to her room, leaving Paul and I to look at each other for a few moments, both of us realizing that not only had we given her a taste of her own medicine, but actually been able to teach her something valuable in the process. As much as her tears had hurt both of us, all told, it was a good showing. Finishing my coffee, I thanked Paul for supper, and headed home – where it took me a long time to get to sleep.

About a week later, I was over at Paul's place again. When I arrived, Leo and John both ambushed me to tell me that they were going to summer camp for two whole weeks, and they'd be staying in tents and riding horses and learning to shoot GUNS and swimming and everything. I congratulated them, told them to be careful with the horses and guns, and went on in to see Paul.

When he saw me, his eyes lit up, and he said 'JUST the person I've been looking for!'

'Ah, shit, Paul. What is it this time?', I asked in my best disgusted, put-upon neighbor voice.

He laughed, and said 'I've got a wee little problem you might be able to help with.'

'Sure. What do you need? Perpetual motion? Time Travel? The Alchemists Stone? What?'

'Nah, I just need to figure out what to do with Jan for a week. I've got to go out of town – hell, out of the country! – for a week, and I don't know what, if anything, I need to do about her.'

'Why just Jan, and not the boys?'

'Because, my good man, it so happens that it's during the couple of weeks that they'll be at camp. So, the only one I need to worry about is Jan. What do you think? I'm inclined to leave her here on her own; she'd old enough to stay out of trouble, but I'm kinda worried about leaving her alone, like with no one to keep her company and all that. She called around, and could stay with some of her friends, but that would only be good for a few days, and I'd still be worried.'

'Have you asked HER what she wants to do?'

'Yeah. She just said that whatever I decided would be fine. She sure is agreeable, after our talk the other night.'

That triggered something in my mind, and I kind of went into a trance while my mind went to work. I kind of let my thoughts ricochet around my skull, collecting ideas along the way, and then filtered out the stuff that was patently crud. Paul had seen me do it before, and was content to let me work it through, since the results were usually good.

After a couple minutes, I faded back into reality, and looked at him with what I knew was a big shit-eating grin.