“Enough, Mr. Astley, please, please don’t remind me,” I cried in vexation, all but in anger. “Know that I’ve forgotten precisely nothing; but I’ve driven it all out of my head for a time, even the memories—until I’ve radically improved my circumstances. Then…then you’ll see, I’ll rise from the dead!”
“You’ll still be here ten years from now,” he said. “I’ll make you a bet that I’ll remind you of it, if I live, right here on this bench.”
“Well, enough,” I interrupted him impatiently, “and to prove to you that I’m not so forgetful of the past, allow me to ask: where is Miss Polina now? If it wasn’t you who bought me out, then it must have been her. Since that time I’ve had no news of her.”
“No, oh, no! I don’t think she bought you out. She’s in Switzerland now, and you will give me great pleasure if you stop asking me about Miss Polina,” he said resolutely and even crossly.
“That means she’s wounded you badly as well!” I laughed involuntarily.
“Miss Polina is the best being of all beings most worthy of respect, but, I repeat, you will give me great pleasure if you stop asking me about Miss Polina. You never knew her, and I consider her name on your lips an insult to my moral sense.”
“So that’s how it is! You’re wrong, however; and, just think, what else am I to talk to you about except that? That’s all our memories consist of. Don’t worry, by the way, I don’t need any of your innermost secret matters…I’m interested only in Miss Polina’s external situation, only in her present external circumstances. That can be said in a couple of words.”
“If you please, provided that these couple of words will end it all. Miss Polina was ill for a long time; she’s ill now, too. For some time she lived with my mother and sister in the north of England. Six months ago her granny— that same crazy woman, you remember—died and left to her personally a fortune of seven thousand pounds. Now Miss Polina is traveling with the family of my sister, who has since married. Her little brother and sister were also provided for by the granny’s inheritance and are studying in London. A month ago the general, her stepfather, died of a stroke in Paris. Mlle Blanche treated him well, but managed to transfer everything he got from the granny to her own name…that, it seems, is all.”
“And des Grieux? Isn’t he also traveling in Switzerland?”
“No, des Grieux is not traveling in Switzerland, and I don’t know where des Grieux is; besides, I warn you once and for all to avoid such hints and ignoble juxtapositions, otherwise you will certainly have to deal with me.”
“What! despite our former friendly relations?”
“Yes, despite our former friendly relations.”
“A thousand pardons, Mr. Astley. Excuse me, however: there’s nothing offensive or ignoble; I don’t blame Miss Polina for anything. Besides that, a Frenchman and a Russian young lady, generally speaking—that is such a juxtaposition, Mr. Astley, as neither you nor I can resolve or understand definitively.”
“If you will not mention the name of des Grieux together with the other name, I would ask you to explain to me what you mean by the expression ‘a Frenchman and a Russian young lady.’ What sort of ‘juxtaposition’ is it? Why precisely a Frenchman and a Russian young lady?”
“You see, you’ve become interested. But this is lengthy stuff, Mr. Astley. Here you have to know a lot beforehand. However, it’s an important question—ridiculous as it all is at first sight. A Frenchman, Mr. Astley, is a finished, beautiful form. You, as a Briton, might disagree with that; I, as a Russian, also disagree—well, let’s say, out of envy; but our young ladies may be of a different opinion. You may find Racine {21} affected, distorted, and perfumed; you probably wouldn’t even bother to read him. I, too, find him affected, distorted, and perfumed, even ridiculous from a certain point of view; but he’s charming, Mr. Astley, and, above all—he’s a great poet, whether we like it or not. The national form of the Frenchman, that is, the Parisian, began composing itself into a graceful form while we were still bears. The revolution was heir to the nobility. Nowadays even the most banal little Frenchman may have manners, ways, expressions, and even thoughts of a fully graceful form, without partaking in that form either with his own initiative, or with his soul, or with his heart; he has come into it all by inheritance. In himself he may be emptier than the emptiest and lower than the lowest. Well, Mr. Astley, sir, I shall now inform you that there is no being in the world more trustful and candid than a good, clever, and not too affected Russian young lady. A des Grieux, appearing in some sort of role, appearing masked, can win her heart with extraordinary ease; he is of graceful form, Mr. Astley, and the young lady takes this form for his very soul, for the natural form of his soul and heart, and not for clothing that has come to him through inheritance. To your greatest displeasure, I must confess that Englishmen are for the most part angular and graceless, while Russians have a rather keen ability to discern beauty and to fall for it. But to discern the beauty of a soul and the originality of a person—for that one needs incomparably more independence and freedom than our women, especially young ladies, possess—and in any case more experience. And Miss Polina—forgive me, what’s said can’t be unsaid—needs a very, very long time to decide that she prefers you to the scoundrel des Grieux. She will appreciate you, will become your friend, will open all her heart to you, but even so in that heart will reign the hateful blackguard, the nasty and petty money-grubber des Grieux. This will even persist, so to speak, out of obstinacy and vanity alone, because the same des Grieux once appeared to her in the aureole of a graceful marquis, a dis-enchanted liberal, who (supposedly!) ruined himself helping her family and the light-minded general. All these tricks were uncovered afterwards. But never mind that they were uncovered: even so, give her the former des Grieux now—that’s what she wants! And the more she hates the present des Grieux, the more she pines for the former one, though the former one existed only in her imagination. Are you in sugar, Mr. Astley?”
“Yes, I’m a partner in the well-known sugar refinery Lowell and Co.”
“Well, so you see, Mr. Astley. On one side there’s a sugar refiner, on the other—the Apollo Belvedere.{22} All this somehow doesn’t hang together. And I’m not even a sugar refiner; I’m simply a petty gambler at roulette, and was even a lackey, which is certainly already known to Miss Polina, because she seems to have good police.”
“You’re bitter, that’s why you talk all this nonsense,” Mr. Astley said coolly, having pondered. “Besides, there’s no originality in your words.”
“I agree! But that’s the horror of it, my noble friend, that all these accusations of mine, however outdated, however banal, however farcical—are still true! You and I still never got anywhere!”
“That’s vile nonsense…because, because…be it known to you!” Mr. Astley pronounced in a trembling voice and flashing his eyes, “be it known to you, ungrateful and unworthy, petty and unhappy man, that I have come to Homburg especially on her orders, so as to see you, have a long and heartfelt talk with you, and report everything to her—your feelings, thoughts, hopes and…memories!”
“It can’t be! Can it be?” I cried, and tears gushed from my eyes. I couldn’t hold them back, and that, I believe, for the first time in my life.
“Yes, unhappy man, she loved you, and I can reveal it to you, because you’re a lost man! What’s more, even if I tell you that she loves you to this day—why, you’ll stay here all the same! Yes, you’ve ruined yourself. You had certain abilities, a lively character, and were not a bad man; you could even have been of use to your country, which has such need of people, but—you’ll stay here, and your life is ended. I’m not blaming you. In my view, all Russians are that way, or are inclined to be that way. If it’s not roulette, it’s something else like it. The exceptions are all too rare. You’re not the first to have no understanding of what work is (I’m not speaking of your peasants). Roulette is for the most part a Russian game. So far you’ve been honest and would sooner go to work as a lackey than steal… but I’m afraid to think what the future may hold. Enough, and farewell! You, of course, need money? Here are ten louis d’or for you, I won’t give you more, because you’ll gamble it away anyway. Take it, and farewell! Take it!”
“No, Mr. Astley, after all that’s been said now…”
“Ta-a-ake it!” he cried. “I’m convinced that you are still a noble person, and I’m giving it to you as a friend can give to a true friend. If I could be certain that you would give up gambling right now, leave Homburg, and go to your own country—I would be ready to give you a thousand pounds immediately to start a new career. But I precisely do not give you a thousand pounds, but give you only ten louis d’or, because whether it’s a thousand pounds or ten louis d’or at the present time is perfectly one and the same to you; all the same—you’ll gamble it away. Take it, and farewell.”
“I’ll take it, if you’ll allow me to embrace you in farewell.”
