Hot Six

'Tell Simon I was looking for him.'

'You can count on it,' Costanza said.

I left the police station and drove to the office and went in with Lula so I could bask in my bounty-hunter excellence. Lula and I had captured our man. It was a big capture, too. A homicidal maniac. Well okay, maybe it hadn't been an entirely flawless operation, but hey, we got him.

I slapped the body receipt down on Connie's desk. 'Are we good, or what?' I said.

Vinnie popped his head out of his office. 'Did I just hear news of an apprehension?'

'Morris Munson,' Connie said. 'Signed, sealed, and delivered.'

Vinnie rocked back on his heels, hands in pants pockets, smile stretching the width of his face. 'Lovely.'

'He didn't even set either of us on fire this time,' Lula said. 'We were good. We hauled his ass off to the clink.'

Connie eyeballed Lula. 'Do you know you're all wet?'

'Yeah. Well, we rousted the jerk out of the shower.'

Vinnie's eyebrows shot up into his forehead. 'Are you telling me you arrested him naked?'

'It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for him running out of the house and down the street,' Lula said.

Vinnie shook his head, the smile broader than ever. 'I love this job.'

Connie gave me my fee; I gave Lula her share and went home to change.

Grandma was still there, getting ready for her driving lesson. She was dressed in her purple warm-up suit, platform sneakers, and a long-sleeved T-shirt that had 'Eat My Shorts' written across the chest. 'I met a man in the elevator today,' she said. 'And I'm taking him to dinner with us tonight.'

'What's his name?'

'Myron Landowsky. He's an old fart, but I figure I have to start somewhere.' She took her purse off the counter, tucked it into the crook of her arm, and gave Bob a pat on the head. 'Bob's been a good boy today, except for eating that roll of toilet paper. Oh yeah, and I was hoping we could ride over with you and Joseph. Myron don't drive after dark, on account of his night vision is shot.'

'No problem.'

I made myself a fried-egg sandwich for lunch, changed my jeans, brushed my hair into a half-assed ponytail, and plastered a ton of concealer over my pimple. I gunked up my lashes with mascara and stared at myself in the mirror. Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie, I said. What are you doing?

I was working myself up to going back to the shore, that's what I was doing. I was having brain pain that I'd screwed up my opportunity to talk to Alexander Ramos. I'd sat across the table from him like a big doofus yesterday. We were doing surveillance on the Ramos family, and when I got unexpectedly let into the chicken coop I didn't ask the rooster a single question. I was sure Ranger's advice was sound, that I should stay away from Alexander Ramos, but it felt wimpy not to go back and try to take better advantage of the situation.

I grabbed my jacket and clipped the leash onto Bob's collar. I stopped in the kitchen to say good-bye to Rex and to put my gun back into the cookie jar. I didn't think it'd be a good idea to be packing while I chauffeured Alexander Ramos around. It'd be hard to explain the gun if I got patted down by Ramos or his babysitters.

Joyce Barnhardt was parked in my lot when I came down. 'Nice pizza face,' she said.

I guessed the concealer wasn't totally effective. 'You want something?'

'You know what I want.'

Joyce wasn't the only idiot loitering in my lot. Mitchell and Habib were parked at the rear. I walked back to them, and Mitchell rolled the driver's-side window down.

'Do you see that woman I was just talking to?' I asked. 'That's Joyce Barnhardt. She's the bond enforcement agent Vinnie hired to bring Ranger in. If you want to get Ranger, you need to follow Joyce around.'

Both men looked over at Joyce.

'If a woman dressed like that in my village we would throw stones at her until she was dead,' Habib said.

'Nice hooters, though,' Mitchell said. 'Are they real?'

'As far as I know.'

'What do you think her chances are of catching Ranger?'

'None.'

'What are your chances?'

'None.'

'We were told to watch you,' Mitchell said. 'That's what we're going to do.'

'Too bad,' Habib said. 'I do like to look at the whore, Joyce Barnhardt.'

'Are you going to follow me around all afternoon?'

Color crept up Mitchell's neck into his cheeks. 'We got some other things to do.'

I smiled. 'Have to get the car home?'

'Fuckin' car pool,' Mitchell said. 'My kid's got a soccer game.'

I went back to the Buick and loaded Bob into the backseat. At least I didn't have to worry about being followed, thanks to the soccer game. I looked in the rearview mirror just to make sure. No Habib and Mitchell-but Joyce was tailing me. I pulled to the side of the road and stopped, and Joyce stopped a few feet behind me. I got out of the car and walked back to her.

'Knock it off,' I said.

'It's a free country.'

'Are you going to follow me all day?'

'Probably.'

'Suppose I ask you nicely.'

'Get real.'

I looked at her car. A new black SUV. Then I looked at my car. Big Blue. I walked back to Blue and got in. 'Hang on,' I said to Bob. Then I threw the car into reverse.

CRASH.

I changed gears and moved forward a few feet. I got out and surveyed the damage. The SUV bumper was Crumple City and Joyce was fighting with the deployed airbag. The back of the Buick was perfect. Not a scratch. I returned to the Buick and drove away. It's not a good idea to mess with a woman who has a pimple.

IT WAS OVERCAST in Deal, with a mist coming off the ocean. Gray sky, gray ocean, gray sidewalks, big pink house belonging to Alexander Ramos. I rolled past the house, made a U-turn, passed the house a second time, turned, and parked at the corner. I wondered if Ranger was watching. My guess was yes. No vans or trucks were parked on the street. That meant he'd have to be in a house. And the house would have to be unoccupied. Easy to tell the unoccupied beachfront houses. Much more difficult to tell the unoccupied houses on the road. None of those were shuttered.

I checked my watch. Same time, same place. No Ramos. After ten minutes my phone rang.

'Yo,' Ranger said.

'Yo, yourself '

'You're not very good at following directions.'

'You mean about not taking the cigarette smuggler job? Seemed too good to pass up.'

'You're going to be careful, right?'

'Right.'

'Our man's having problems getting out of the house. Hang in there.'

'How do you know this? Where are you?'

'Get ready. It's show time,' Ranger said. And he disconnected.

Alexander Ramos was through the gate and running across the road to my car. He wrenched the passenger door open and dove in. 'Go!' he shouted. 'Go!'

I took off from the curb and saw two men in suits round the gate and sprint toward us. I floored the Buick, and we roared away.

Ramos didn't look good at all. He was pale and sweating and gasping for air. 'Christ,' he said, 'I didn't think I was going to make it. It's a goddamn freak show in that house. Good thing I looked out the window when I did and saw your car. I was going nuts in there.'