Hot Six

I thought it was strange that neither of them commented on the fact that I was wet and bleeding and had walked in with a Glock in my hand. But then, maybe people showed up here like that all the time. 'I was wondering if you had any dry clothes,' I said to Dougie. 'Did you get rid of all those jeans you were trying to sell?'

'I have a whole bunch in the bedroom upstairs. Mostly small sizes, so maybe you'll find something. And there's shirts up there, too. You can help yourself to whatever you want.'

There were some Band-Aids in the medicine chest in the bathroom. I cleaned myself up as well as I could and picked over Dougie's clothes until I found something that fit.

It was midafternoon, and I hadn't had lunch, so I wolfed down some crab puffs. Then I went into the kitchen and called Morelli on his cell phone.

'Were are you?' he asked.

'Why?'

'I want to know, that's why.'

Something was wrong. My God, not Rex. 'What's wrong? Is it Rex? Is Rex all right?'

'Rex is fine. He's in a squad car with Costanza, on his way to my house. I'm still in your apartment. The door was open when I got here, and the place has been ransacked. I don't think anything's destroyed, but it's a real mess. They dumped everything out of your bag, onto the floor. Your wallet and stun gun and pepper spray are still here. Your gun was still in the cookie jar. Looks to me like these guys were more mad than anything. I think they tore through here and didn't even see Rex's cage.'

I had my hand to my heart. Rex was okay. That was all I cared about.

'I'm getting ready to lock up,' he said. 'Tell me where you are.'

'I'm at Dougie's.'

'Dougie Kruper?'

'We're watching I Dream of Jeannie.'

'I'll be right there.'

'No! I'm perfectly safe. No one would think to look for me here. And I'm helping Dougie clean. Lula and I caused a riot last night, and I feel responsible, and I need to help clean.' Liar, liar, pants on fire.

'That sounds reasonable, but I don't believe any of it.'

'Listen, I don't interfere with your work, and you can't interfere with mine.'

'Yeah, but I know what I'm doing.'

He had a point. 'I'll see you tonight.'

'Shit,' Morelli said. 'I need a drink.'

'Check my bedroom closet. Maybe Grandma left a bottle.'

I WATCHED JEANNIE with Dougie and Mooner for three hours. I ate some more crab puffs. And then I called Ranger. He didn't answer his phone, so I tried his pager. Ten minutes later, I got a call back.

'I want to get this bracelet off,' I told him.

'You could go to a locksmith.'

'I'm having some additional problems with Stolle.'

'And?'

'And I need to talk to you.'

'And?'

'I'll be in the lot behind the office at nine o'clock. I'll be in a borrowed car. I don't know what kind, yet.'

Ranger disconnected. I guess that meant he'd be there.

Now I had a problem. All I had was a Glock. And Ranger wouldn't be afraid of the Glock. He'd know I wouldn't shoot him.

'I need some stuff,' I said to Dougie. 'I need handcuffs and a stun gun and some pepper spray.'

'I don't have any here,' Dougie said, 'but I could make a phone call. I know a guy.'

Half hour later, there was a knock on the door, and we all pushed the refrigerator out of the way. We opened the door, and my upper lip curled back.

'Lenny Gruber,' I said. 'Haven't seen you since you repossessed my Miata.'

'I've been busy.'

'Yeah, I know. So many rotten things to do, and so little time.'

'Dude!' Mooner said. 'Come on in. Have a crab puff.'

Gruber and I went to school together. He was the kind of guy who passed gas in class and then yelled out, 'Hey, that stinks! Who cut the cheese?' He was missing a molar, and his pants were never completely zipped.

Gruber helped himself to a crab puff and put an aluminum attache case on the coffee table. He opened the case and inside was a jumble of tasers, stun guns, defense sprays, cuffs, knives, saps, and brass knuckles. Also a box of condoms and a vibrator. I guess he did a good pimp trade.

I picked out a pair of cuffs, a stun gun, and a small can of pepper spray. 'How much?' I asked.

His eyes were locked onto my chest. 'For you, a special deal.'

'Don't do me any favors,' I said.

He gave me a price that was fair.

'Deal,' I told him. 'But you'll have to wait to get paid. I don't have anything on me.'

He grinned, and the missing molar looked like the black hole of Calcutta in his mouth. 'We could work something out.'

'We'll work nothing out. I'll get the money to you tomorrow.'

'If I don't get paid until tomorrow the price will have to go up.'

'Listen, Gruber, I've had a very bad day. Don't push me. I'm a woman on the edge.' I hit the 'on' button on the stun gun. 'Is this thing live? Maybe I should test it on someone.'

'Women,' Gruber said to Mooner. 'Can't live with them. Can't live without them.'

'Could you move a little to the left?' Mooner asked. 'You're blocking the television, dude, and Jeannie's gonna blink Major Nelson.'

I BORROWED A two-year-old jeep Cherokee from Dougie. It was one of four cars left unsold because their registration and bill of sale had gotten misplaced. I'd found jeans and a T-shirt that sort of fit. And I'd borrowed a lined denim jacket and clean socks from Mooner. Neither Dougie nor Mooner had a washer or dryer and neither was a crossdresser, so what I was missing was underwear. I had my cuffs looped over the back of my jeans. The rest of my equipment was stuffed into the jacket's assorted pockets.

I drove to the lot behind Vinnie's office and parked. The rain had stopped and the air felt warm with the promise of spring. It was very dark, no stars or moon showing through the cloud cover. There was room behind the office for four cars to park. So far, mine was the only one there. I was early. Probably not as early as Ranger. He'd undoubtedly seen me arrive and was watching from somewhere to make sure the meeting was safe. Standard operating procedure.

I was watching the alley that led to the small lot when Ranger rapped softly on my window.

'Damn!' I said. 'You scared the bejeezus out of me. You shouldn't sneak up on a person like that.'

'You should keep your back to the wall, babe.' He opened my door. 'Take your jacket off.'

'I'll be cold.'

'Take it off and hand it to me.'

'You don't trust me.'

He smiled.

I took the jacket off and handed it over.

'Lot of hardware in here,' he said.

'The usual.'

'Get out of the car.'

This wasn't the way it was supposed to happen. I hadn't counted on losing my jacket so soon. 'I'd rather you got in. It's warmer in here.'

'Get out.'

I gave a big sigh and got out.