safe.
When the last tremor faded, she fell back against the blankets. She thought she'd died.
He thought he'd killed her. He collapsed on top of her with a grant of satisfaction. His sweet wife had taken all his strength. She'd taken away his willpower, too, for he couldn't seem to make himself move away from her.
It took him several minutes to recover. Then he started worrying. 'Nicholaa, are you all right?'
The concern in his voice warmed her heart. 'Yes.'
He could hear the blush in her voice. God help him, he started laughing. The woman had been wild just a few minutes before, yet now was obviously embarrassed.
'Why are you amused?' she asked shyly. 'Are you laughing at me?'
'You please me,' he told her. 'That's why I'm laughing.'
'Royce?'
'Yes?'
'It isn't going to be all right, is it?'
The fear in her voice sobered him. 'I'll take care of you, Nicholaa,' he said, giving her a roundabout answer.
'Ulric has to leave.'
'Yes.'
'Do you believe Thurston won't come back once his son is gone?'
'It's my hope,' he admitted.
'He'll come for Justin.'
His sigh was long. He'd hoped she wouldn't figure that out so soon. 'Justin won't leave with Thurston. Go to sleep, Nicholaa. It's my duty to protect this family.'
Yes, it was his duty, and he wouldn't turn his back on what he felt was right. But that duty had been thrust upon him when she chose him for her husband.
She wished with all her heart it wasn't just duty that drove him. Nicholaa closed her eyes and tried not to weep. She had Royce's protection, aye.
But she wanted his love.
Chapter Thirteen
Royce was standing near the buttery when Nicholaa walked into the great hall with little Ulric settled on her hip. An older soldier Nicholaa didn't recognize stood next to her husband, speaking in a low voice. Both men were staring at the floor where the table had stood before Royce ordered it moved to the center of the room.
She decided to interrupt. She walked over to greet her husband. Ulric was babbling out his new sounds. When Royce turned to her, the baby reached out for him.
He took the baby, settled him up against his shoulder, then looked at his wife. She folded her hands in front of her and smiled at him.
'Good morning, husband.' She started to stretch up and kiss him, then thought better of it. There was a stranger with her husband. She didn't want to embarrass him.
Royce didn't seem to mind an audience, though. He grasped her chin, tilted her face up, and brushed his mouth over hers. Then he pulled her up against his side and turned back to the soldier.
'You were explaining, Thomas?' he prodded.
'I was explaining that it's a miracle, my lord, that the floor hasn't caved in yet. You can see how rotten the wood is here,' he added with a sweep of his hand.
Royce nodded. 'Finish your inspection,' he ordered. 'You will join us for dinner tonight. I'll hear your evaluation then.'
The dark-haired soldier bowed to his baron but kept his gaze on Nicholaa. She nudged her husband. He finally remembered his manners and introduced Thomas to his wife. Nicholaa smiled at the soldier. Royce started counting. It only took Thomas the count of five to turn bright red. It was a damned odd affliction, but one from which all of his soldiers, old and young alike, seemed to suffer. All Nicholaa had to do was give a man her full attention, and he was turned from a mighty soldier to a soggy piece of milk toast.
It was shameful. Thomas was now tugging at his collar. He acted as though a heat wave had just poured over him.
Royce glared Thomas into moving, then shook his head in exasperation when the soldier tried to walk out of the hall without taking his gaze away from Nicholaa. He tripped over his own feet of course, then righted himself like an awkward pup and rushed out of the hall.
Nicholaa looked up at Royce. 'The soldiers seem nervous around you,' she remarked. 'I believe you intimidate them.'
He smiled. She decided he thought she'd given him a compliment. She was about to explain she hadn't done any such thing when he turned her attention. 'I don't intimidate you, do I?'
'Almost as much as you intimidate Ulric,' she answered. She edged around her husband to look up at the baby and saw he was sucking on the latches of Royce's tunic.
'Are you ready to tell me your plans for today?' he said.
'My plans?' She didn't seem to know what he was talking about.
'I'll hear your list of duties,' he patiently explained.
'What list of duties?'
'Nicholaa, didn't you listen to what I said last night? I distinctly remember telling you that each and every morning you would outline for me your plans for the day.'
'Of course I listened,' she rushed out. 'Don't frown so. I do remember. I just don't have any duties to tell you about. You've taken them all away.'
'Explain yourself,' he ordered.
She didn't care for his curt tone of voice, but she didn't remark on it. 'If Justin and Ulric didn't need me so much, I'd have no reason to stay here,' she announced. 'You certainly don't need me.'
Nicholaa hoped for a denial. He didn't give it to her. 'You've still to explain why you don't have duties,' he reminded her.
She shrugged. 'I thought I was supposed to run my household. However, you've taken over that duty. You gave the staff their orders yesterday, and I assume you will continue to do so.'
'That was an unusual circumstance,' he replied. 'You slept the morning away, remember?'
She did remember. She turned her gaze to the floor. Her husband had kept her up most of the night making love to her. She remembered that, too. 'I was very weary,' she said.
Her cheeks turned pink. He couldn't imagine what was going through her mind now. He was a patient man, he reminded himself. 'That isn't the point,' he told her. 'In your absence, I made certain decisions.'
'Such as moving the table to the center of the room?'
When Royce nodded, she said, 'But I changed that order, and others, too, and you were very displeased.'
'Yes.'
She shook her head. 'Royce, I don't understand what you want from me. I'm trying to get along with you, but you confuse me with contradictory requests. Do you or do you not want me to run this household?'
'Yes, I want you to run this household.'
'Then-'
'But I never want you to countermand an order I've given. Now you do understand?'
'Do you mean to say that you were upset because I changed your orders?' she asked. 'You called the servants together just because…' She stopped when he nodded.
'It was deliberate, wasn't it, Nicholaa?'
