was a gamble, for she hoped and prayed he would tell her what was in his heart as well.
'I told Thurston I loved you.' She gazed at her hands and waited for his reaction. God, she felt vulnerable.
'You did?' He sounded surprised.
She nodded. 'Yes, I did,' she announced in a stronger voice.
He let out a sigh.
She looked up to see if he was smiling or scowling. His expression didn't tell her much, though. He looked as though she'd just given him the dinner menu. 'What do you think of that, Royce?' she asked.
'I understand your reason for telling your brother you loved me,' he answered. He nodded to emphasize that fact. 'You wanted to gain his cooperation.'
'His cooperation?'
He nodded again. He had it all figured out. He sounded so damn logical. She wished she could give him a swift kick in his logical backside.
'You wanted Thurston to accept me. That's why you told him you loved me.'
He thought she'd lied to her brother. Nicholaa's eyes widened. She didn't know if she should correct him or not. The conversation wasn't going at all well.
'I wanted Thurston to believe I was happy with you,' she said. 'He asked me to leave with him.'
'And so you told him you loved me and wanted to stay with me, but you were thinking of Ulric and Justin, weren't you?'
'There was that,' she muttered. She began to drum her fingers on the table again. 'I was trying to convince him I'd chosen you for my husband.'
'You did choose me.'
They were going around in circles. Royce started pacing again. 'It made good sense, wife. You thought to ease your brother's mind about your circumstances. Instead of easing his mind, however, you made him furious. Aye, that's why Thurston went into a rage and called you traitor.'
'A very logical assumption,' she announced. 'You've figured it all out, haven't you? But you've still to give me a satisfactory answer. Do you want me to love you?'
'I don't know about such things,' he admitted, his voice hesitant. 'Do you want to love me?'
She wanted to throttle him. It was apparent he didn't have any idea how important this discussion was to her. He wouldn't act so blase if he did. She couldn't decide whether to weep or throw something. She thought she just might do both.
'Is that all you can say to me?' she asked him.
'No.'
Her heart started pounding. Perhaps now he'd tell her he wanted her love. The past few minutes had persuaded her to forget her hope that he'd profess his own feelings. She knew Royce didn't love her yet, but perhaps his attitude was softening. In time, with care and gentle nagging, he might decide to love her just a little.
Royce wasn't able to hide his irritation with his wife. Nicholaa was staring off into space, looking bemused. It was obvious she was daydreaming.
'You will pay attention to what I say.'
She smiled up at him. 'Yes, husband?'
'Where was I?' he asked, thoroughly distracted.
'I asked you if you wanted me to love you, and you said you didn't know about such things. Then I asked you if you didn't have more to say to me, and-'
'Yes, now I remember,' he said. He turned around and started pacing again. He was determined to turn the conversation away from the subject of love. God's truth, he felt completely inadequate discussing that topic. 'Nicholaa, I know this is difficult for you, but if you'll only consider…'
'Yes?' she asked breathlessly. Now he would tell her what she so desperately wanted to hear. The way he hesitated was clue enough for Nicholaa. He seemed agitated, too. That was another good sign, she thought to herself.
He cleared his throat and turned to look at her.
She straightened up in her chair and waited.
'Marriage is like a map,' he said.
She bounded to her feet. 'What?'
'Marriage is like a map, Nicholaa.'
She shook her head. 'Do you know what I think?' she demanded.
Lord, she was furious. He was astonished by that reaction. What in God's name was the matter with her? 'What do you think?' he asked.
'I think you should have married one of your soldiers.'
Nicholaa darted around the table and ran out of the great hall. If she hurried, she might reach her room before she started screaming.
Lawrence walked into the hall as Nicholaa rushed out, and the two of them nearly collided. The vassal grabbed her shoulders to steady her. He noticed the tears in her eyes immediately. 'Is something wrong, my lady?' he asked. 'Has something upset you?'
'Not something,' she muttered. 'Someone.' She turned to glare at Royce and jumped when she found him standing right behind her. He'd sneaked up on her without making a sound.
Royce stared at Nicholaa as he spoke to his vassal. 'Was there something you wanted, Lawrence?'
'Yes, Baron.'
'Then take your hands off my wife and tell me,' Royce ordered.
Lawrence realized he was still holding Nicholaa's shoulders and immediately let go. 'You asked to be informed when a change occurred,' he announced. He gave Nicholaa a quick glance, then looked at Royce again. 'It's happened. He's gone into a rage.' Lawrence smiled.
Royce nodded. 'It seems to run in the family,' he drawled, sending a meaningful frown in Nicholaa's direction. 'Though in this instance, I'm pleased. It's about time.'
Lawrence nodded. He fell into step next to his baron and started for the outside doors. 'About time indeed,' the vassal agreed.
Nicholaa's own feelings were pushed aside by the announcement. She knew Lawrence was talking about her brother. 'It's Justin, isn't it? He's the one who's gone into a rage.' She rushed after her husband.
Royce suddenly stopped. Nicholaa didn't. She bumped into him. He turned around and grabbed hold of her. His grip was almost painful. 'You will not interfere.'
She had her answer then. It was definitely Justin.
'I won't interfere,' she promised. 'Just tell me why you're pleased that he's gone into a rage. I would like to be pleased, too.'
She hadn't demanded an explanation; she'd merely asked for one. Royce immediately answered. 'We've been waiting for your brother to show some kind of reaction to his situation. Until now we've had to force him to eat, to drink, to move. Justin's been trying to hide from life, Nicholaa. Now he's finally opening his eyes. This sudden rage is a good beginning, and that's why I'm pleased.'
She hadn't realized she'd grabbed his tunic until he pulled her hands away. 'What will you do now?'
His smile made some of her fear dissipate. 'I'm going to help him redirect his anger.'
'How?'
'By giving him a target.'
'A target?' she repeated, still not understanding.
'I'm going to direct his anger toward me,' Royce explained. 'God willing, by the end of the day your brother's rage will be fully centered on me. He'll want to live for the sole purpose of killing me.'
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted giving her that bit of information. She looked appalled.
'Couldn't you give him some other target?' she asked.
'No.'
She sighed. She knew he was right. As the leader of his men, he alone was responsible for the welfare of
