'Was it… all right?' Her voice was hesitant, filled with embarrassment. 'What I did?'
He knew what she was talking about of course. 'Oh, yes, it was all right,' he answered. 'What made you-'
'I wanted to,' she interrupted.
A long minute passed before Royce spoke again. 'Nicholaa, did you make love that way because you were trying to be the kind of wife you thought I wanted, or did you take me into your mouth because you wanted to?'
She was thankful he couldn't see her face. She was burning with embarrassment. 'I already told you I wanted to,' she whispered into the darkness. 'And you said you liked it. My, I'm tired. I believe I'll go to sleep now.'
He wrapped his arms around her to keep her warm. He took the hint, of course, that Nicholaa didn't want to discuss the intimacy.
She fell asleep minutes later. Royce stayed awake much longer. What an innocent charmer his wife was. He recounted her confession over and over again in his mind. She really believed she'd forced him to marry her.
Something else was bothering her, too. Something in the way she'd spoken told him she was harboring another worry or two. Nicholaa had looked so vulnerable, he remembered, and there had been a desperate edge in her voice.
Hell, he hoped she didn't have a couple more brothers she hadn't mentioned to him yet.
That possibility made him smile. He wondered how long it would take him to really understand his wife. Royce decided he'd have to sit down with her and discuss these concerns. He didn't want her to worry about anything. She was going to be happy, he vowed, and he wouldn't stop prodding her until she was.
Royce woke up in the middle of the night when Nicholaa rolled away from him in her sleep. He followed her. He would have fallen back to sleep if her backside hadn't rubbed up against his groin. That enticement was too much to ignore. He had to touch her then. One caress led to another and another, and before he was fully awake, he was making slow, sweet love to her.
Their mouths melted together in long, lazy kisses, and their lovemaking was filled with tenderness. And when they'd both found fulfillment, they fell asleep hugging each other.
Chapter Fifteen
Nicholaa's behavior underwent a radical change. It all started the morning after she promised to become the kind of wife Royce wanted.
She rose at the crack of dawn, dressed quietly, and went down to the great hall. She was giving directions to the servants for the day's activities before her husband had even opened his eyes.
Nicholaa missed Ulric so much she was aching inside. She was determined to keep busy so she wouldn't have time for self-pity. She was going to work until she dropped from exhaustion.
She was going to give her husband peace, too. The problem, of course, was figuring out how to accomplish that goal. She'd have to control her temper, keep her opinions to herself, and agree with her husband at all times.
She might as well be dead, she thought to herself. The changes would probably kill her. Still, she'd given her word to Royce, and she was going to keep it. She owed him her gratitude for everything he'd done for her family, too. Granted, she'd forced him to take on those responsibilities, and she'd ruined his life in the process. The very least she could do to make up for that was to give the man what he wanted.
In the back of her mind lurked the tiny hope that, once she'd made all these changes, Royce might start to love her. She didn't just want a place in his life. She wanted his heart, too.
Nicholaa was arranging flowers in the brown clay bowl on the table when Clarise and Alice hurried into the hall.
The two women took turns offering comfort to each other over the loss of their 'precious little baggage,' the affectionate term they'd given to Ulric.
The more they talked about the baby the more upset Nicholaa became. She shook her head and announced Ulric would be well loved.
'I've a list of chores to give you today,' she said then. 'Every morning I'll divide our duties and we'll get them done before nightfall. We're going to get organized, ladies.'
'Why?' Clarise asked. 'We've gotten everything done in the past without being organized.'
'My husband doesn't like disorder,' Nicholaa explained. 'And I've given him my word I will become the kind of wife he wants. Therefore-'
Alice interrupted her. 'But he likes you fine the way you are.'
Clarise agreed. 'You can't believe otherwise, mistress. Why, the baron's so kind and patient-'
'He's kind and patient with everyone,' Nicholaa interjected.
'Well, then,' Clarise asked, 'why this need to change?'
'I'm after more,' Nicholaa confessed in a whisper. 'I would like Royce to…' She couldn't get the words out.
Clarise took sympathy on her. 'You would like the baron to feel about you the same way your father felt about your mother? Is that what you're meaning to say?'
Nicholaa nodded.
Clarise snorted, then turned to Alice. 'She thinks the baron doesn't love her.'
'Oh, he must love her,' Alice replied. 'Of course he does.'
Nicholaa let out a sigh. 'You both love me,' she announced, 'just as I love you, and for that reason you can't imagine that someone else wouldn't.'
Clarise scowled. Nicholaa held up her hand so neither servant would interrupt, then calmly outlined the changes she planned to make. The two women looked at her incredulously.
'You're never going to raise your voice?' Alice asked, latching on to the last change Nicholaa had explained.
Clarise shook her head. 'You can't be serious,' she said. 'If the man can't love you for what you are-'
'I'm saying he does love her,' Alice muttered. 'Milady, you need only put the question to him.'
Nicholaa's shoulders drooped. She didn't like admitting that she was afraid to ask. If he told her no, what would she do? 'It doesn't matter if he loves me or not,' she said. 'I owe him my gratitude. I'm going to give him the happiness and peace he deserves. It's the least I can do.'
'I've never seen you so unsure of yourself,' Clarise muttered. 'I'm not liking it, either. I liked you better when you would take the dog by his tail and give him what for. Aye, you always had yourself a plan in the past when you wanted to get something.'
Nicholaa smiled. 'I have a plan now,' she argued. 'I'll give Royce exactly what he wants, and then he'll realize he loves me. See how simple it is?'
Royce walked into the hall, interrupting the discussion. Nicholaa hurried over to meet him at the entrance and gave him a proper greeting. She kissed him, too.
Clarise and Alice hurried to the buttery to see about the morning meal. Nicholaa walked with Royce to the table.
She was smiling. Royce was pleased by that. Since his wife was in a pleasant frame of mind, he decided to wait before sitting down to discuss her worries with her.
Perhaps he'd been too concerned last night. Nicholaa was probably just overwrought because Ulric had left. He knew she was going to miss the baby, and her mood last night was probably just a reflection of the emptiness she was feeling inside.
Thomas and Lawrence strolled into the hall and took their positions at the table.
As soon as Royce sat down, Nicholaa clasped her hands behind her back and recited the duties she planned to undertake for the day.
