The stab of panic returned to lodge in Arabella’s chest. “But that is the problem, don’t you see? I can’t be certain of his love. And even if he does love me a little now, how do I know his feelings will last? There is nothing more hurtful than loving someone and not being loved in return. I know because I have experienced it.”
Tess shook her head. “Viscount Underwood was clearly not worthy of your love, but I believe Lord Danvers is. You must think so too, or you would never have allowed your affection to go so far. Isn’t that so?”
“Yes.”
“Do you love him as much as you loved Underwood?”
“Much more.” Her love for Marcus was far stronger than her first love had ever been, which meant the devastation would be far greater if it turned out to be one-sided.
“Then perhaps you should accept his proposal,” Tess said.
Arabella sent her friend a despairing glance. “Marriage would only make any disparity worse. My mother loved my father initially, and look where their marriage ended.”
“But from everything you have told me, your parents were a terrible mismatch. You and Lord Danvers are much better suited.”
“Why do you say so?”
Tess smiled. “I have seen you together, the way you are with him. The way you look at each other. A fire lights in your eyes when you look at him, did you know?”
It was Arabella’s turn to stare.
Tess went on. “As surprised as I am to admit this, I think he could be the ideal match for you. You would always keep him challenged and interested, and he would do the same for you.”
Arabella shook her head in denial. “I cannot be sure of that.”
“No, I suppose you cannot. But we can never be sure of anything in life, Arabella. And the chance for love is worth the risk of being hurt. Do you really want to give up hope for your future because of what happened in the past?”
Twisting her fingers in her lap, Arabella looked away. Marcus had accused her of letting fear rule her, and she knew it was true; she feared being hurt again. But she was already hurting dreadfully. How could the pain be any greater than what she felt right now?
When she remained silent, Tess asked quietly, “If you could be certain he loved you, would you marry him?”
“Yes,” she finally murmured.
Tess sighed. “Well, you will have to decide for yourself, but I don’t think you will be happy without him. And I don’t think he will wait forever for you to make up your mind.” Climbing to her feet, she gazed down at Arabella, her voice softening. “I believe you should take the risk and accept his proposal, Arabella. True love is too precious to waste. I would give anything to have that chance again.”
Turning away, Tess left Arabella struggling with her warring emotions.
Wanting privacy to settle her agitated thoughts, Arabella departed early for home before the tea even began, leaving her sisters and Tess to supervise the event. When she reached the Hall and spied a carriage bearing the Danvers crest standing in the drive, her heart leapt. Marcus had returned!
She tried to keep her eagerness under control as she drove the gig around to the stables and turned it over to a groom, yet she found herself hurrying toward the house.
Simpkin met her in the corridor to take her spencer and bonnet and to announce a visitor. “Lady Loring has called, Miss Arabella.”
Arabella froze, not certain she had heard correctly. “My
“Yes. I have put her in the small salon.”
She felt the color drain from her face. When she swayed dizzily, Simpkin instantly became concerned. “Are you unwell, Miss Arabella?”
“No… I am just…surprised.” Although
To think her mother had come to call after all this time. What in heaven’s name did she want? And where had she come from? Four years ago Victoria had reportedly fled with her lover to the coast of Brittany in France, near Brest, when Britain was still at war with France. Travel was perilous and any communication between the two countries was unpredictable at best. But they’d heard nothing more about her, not even after the long war ended with Napoleon’s abdication the following year.
Her footsteps hesitant, Arabella walked slowly down the corridor to the salon and paused on the threshold to observe the familiar stranger seated on the settee.
She was unmistakably a lady, fair-haired and elegant. In looks, Victoria most resembled Roslyn, with the same golden delicacy and aristocratic bearing. And she was still quite beautiful. Even though she had borne three children and endured a scandalous widowhood, the years had been kind to her.
At the sight of her, a chaos of emotions flooded Arabella, along with a rush of painful memories. Then Victoria looked up, her expression hesitant, vulnerable…even fearful.
Reflexively, Arabella felt her hands clench with anger and bittersweet happiness. She had never forgiven her mother for abandoning her and her sisters and leaving them mired in scandal. And yet some part of her was overjoyed to see Victoria again.
Trying to remain calm, Arabella entered the room but kept her distance. When her mother simply watched her warily, she broke the taut silence. “What brings you here, Mama?”
“You, of course,” came the quiet answer. “I wanted to know how my daughters are faring.”
Arabella couldn’t keep the bitterness from her voice. “After four years without even a word, you suddenly care how we are faring?”
“I have always cared. It is wonderful to see you again, Arabella.” Victoria patted the seat cushion beside her. “Will you come and sit with me?”
“I prefer to stand, thank you.”
A small, sad smile twisted her mother’s mouth. “I knew you would not forgive me. I told him so.”
“Him?”
Victoria sighed. “Lord Danvers.”
Arabella’s brow furrowed. “What does he have to say to the matter?”
“He is the reason I am here. His lordship sent a ship to France this week to escort me home to England. His secretary met me in Dover yesterday, and his carriage brought me here today.”
Marcus had hunted down her mother in France? Arabella wondered, a little stunned. “Whatever for?”
“Because he has hopes that I can reconcile with my daughters. At the very least, he is determined that I explain…and apologize to you for what I did.”
Her eyes widened as she stared at her mother. “What explanation could you possibly give that would excuse abandoning your children the heartless way you did? You walked out of our lives, Mama, without even a single word of farewell, and then left us to deal with Papa’s death all alone.”
“I am so very sorry, Arabella.”
Her mouth tightened. “Isn’t it a bit late for apologies? It all happened a long time ago, so I’m not certain there is any point in even discussing it.”
Wincing, Victoria held up a hand. “Please, won’t you at least listen to my side of the tale?”
“Very well,” Arabella said finally.
“You had best sit down. It is a long story.”
Reluctantly, she moved to claim a wing chair across from the settee. Her mother searched her face for a long moment before finally saying in a low voice, “Truly, I am sorry for ruining your life, Arabella. I never meant to hurt you and Roslyn and Lilian.”
“But you did, Mama.” A savage ache tightened her throat. “More than you can imagine. We were all devastated by your leaving, especially Lily. She cried for
“I…know. I should have considered how my conduct would have affected you. I should have put my daughters first. But once I took the first step, my actions became irrevocable.”
