can be very cold in Herefordshire in winter, and even civil servants cannot work in subzero temperatures.
Mrs Betty Oldham: We aren’t talking about civil servants. We are talking about coils of wire, with plastic coats to keep them warm.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Yes, but staff are in and out all the time.
Mrs Betty Oldham: Why?
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Taking deliveries, making withdrawals, checking records, security patrols, fire inspection, stock-taking and auditing, and so forth.
Mrs Betty Oldham: Well, they can wear gloves can’t they?
Sir Humphrey Appleby: They could. It’s a question of staff welfare policy.
Mrs Betty Oldham: Well, I suggest this policy is costing the taxpayer millions of pounds. (silence) Nothing to say, Sir Humphrey?
Sir Humphrey Appleby: It is not for me to comment on government policy. You must ask the Minister.
Mrs Betty Oldham: But you advise the Minister.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: I think the Chairman is aware that I cannot disclose how I advise my Minister. The Minister is responsible for policy.
Mrs Betty Oldham: All right. So we’ll ask the Minister. Now then, what about those stationery requisition savings?
Sir Humphrey Appleby: That would have involved putting very considerable government patronage in the hands of junior staff.
Mrs Betty Oldham: Considerable government patronage? Buying a packet of paper- clips?
Sir Humphrey Appleby: It is government policy to exercise strict control over the number of people allowed to spend its money. I’m sure you’ll agree that this is right and proper.
Mrs Betty Oldham: But it’s plain common sense to allow people to buy their own paper-clips.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Government policy has nothing to do with common sense.
Mrs Betty Oldham: Well, don’t you think it’s time that the policy was changed? (silence) Well, Sir Humphrey?
Sir Humphrey Appleby: It is not for me to comment on government policy. You must ask the Minister.
Mrs Betty Oldham: But the Minister advises us to ask you.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: And I am advising you to ask the Minister.
Mr Alan Hughes: When does this end?
Sir Humphrey Appleby: As soon as you like.
Mrs Betty Oldham: Well, let’s come to the roof garden.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: With pleasure. It was part of a wide variety of roof insulation schemes which the government undertook to test, in the interest of fuel economy.
Mrs Betty Oldham: Seventy-five thousand pounds?
The actual report of Sir Humphrey Appleby’s evidence to the Select Committee, reproduced by kind permission of HMSO.
[We have reprinted it in more readable form – Ed.]
Sir Humphrey Appleby: It was thought that the sale of flowers and vegetable produce might offset the cost.
Mrs Betty Oldham: And did it?
Sir Humphrey Appleby: No.
Mrs Betty Oldham: Then why not abandon the garden?
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Well, it’s there now. And it does insulate the roof. But we aren’t building any more.
Mrs Betty Oldham: But you’ve wasted seventy-five thousand pounds.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: It was the government’s policy to test all the proposals for fuel saving.
Mrs Betty Oldham: At this fantastic waste of taxpayers’ money? You agree the money was wasted?
Sir Humphrey Appleby: It is not for me to comment on government policy. You must ask the Minister.
Mrs Betty Oldham: Look, Sir Humphrey. Whatever we ask the Minister, he says is an administrative question for you. And whatever we ask you, you say is a policy question for the Minister. How do you suggest we find out what’s going on?
