I must admit I was rather touched.
Then, to my utter astonishment, he suggested that we sent for Frank Weisel.
Humphrey is clearly a reformed character. Even though it’s probably too late to matter!
‘You see, Minister, if the Prime Minister is behind a scheme, Whitehall on its own cannot block it. Cabinet Ministers’ schemes are easily blocked . . .’ he corrected himself at once, ‘. . . redrafted, but the PM is another matter.’
In a nutshell, his scheme is to fight this plan in Westminster as well as Whitehall. Therefore he believes that Frank can help to mobilise the backbenchers on my behalf.
I suggested that Fleet Street might be of use, if Frank can get the press on our side. Humphrey blanched and swallowed, but to his credit agreed. ‘If there is no other way, even Fleet Street . . .’ he murmured.
Frank was away yesterday. So we had the meeting with him today.
He’d just heard the news. We asked for his reaction. For the first time that I can remember, he was speechless. He just sat and shook his head sadly. I asked him what suggestions he had.
‘I can’t think of anything . . . I’m appalled,’ he replied.
We all agreed that it was appalling.
So I took charge. ‘We’ve got to stop flapping about like wet hens. We’ve got to do something to save the Department from closure. Frank, get through to the Whips’ office to mobilise the backbenchers and Central House, to stop this before it starts.’
‘I’m awfully sorry to quibble again, Minister, but you can’t actually stop things before they start,’ intervened Bernard, the wet-hen-in-chief. He’s really useless in a crisis.
Frank pointed out that this idea of mine wasn’t much good, as the scheme to abolish the DAA would probably be popular with backbenchers. So I pointed out that it was Humphrey’s idea, anyway.
Bernard’s overnight deliberations led him to propose a publicity campaign in the press, full-page ads praising the Department. He offered us some slogans: ADMINISTRATION SAVES THE NATION and RED TAPE IS FUN.
We just boggled at these ideas. So he then suggested RED TAPE HOLDS THE NATION TOGETHER.
Sometimes I really despair of Bernard.
There was a long pause, after which Humphrey remarked bleakly, ‘There’s no doubt about it, the writing’s on the wall.’
None of us can see any real hope of averting catastrophe.
It’s appalling!
Life must go on, even while the Sword of Damocles hangs over us.
Today we had a meeting about the Europass. This was a completely new development. I’ve never even heard of it. Apparently there’s been information about it in my boxes for the last couple of nights, but I’ve been too depressed and preoccupied to grasp anything I’ve read.
It seems that the Europass is a new European Identity Card, to be carried by all citizens of the EEC. The FCO, according to Humphrey, is willing to go along with the idea as a
Apparently the PM wants me to introduce the necessary legislation.
I’m
Sir Humphrey was surprised at my reaction. He’d thought it was a good idea as I’m known to be pro-Europe, and he thinks that a Europass will simplify administration in the long run.
Frank and I tried to explain to the officials that for me to introduce such a scheme would be political suicide. The British people do not want to carry compulsory identification papers. I’ll be accused of trying to bring in a police state, when I’m still not fully recovered from the fuss about the Data Base. ‘Is this what we fought two world wars for?’ I can hear the backbenchers cry.
‘But it’s nothing more than a sort of driving licence,’ said Humphrey.
‘It’s the last nail in my coffin,’ said I.
‘You might get away with calling it the Euroclub Express,’ said Bernard. I told him to shut up or get out.
Frank asked why we had to introduce it, not the FCO? A good question.
‘I understand,’ explained Humphrey, ‘that the PM did originally suggest that the FCO introduce the measure, but the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs suggested that it was a Home Office measure, and then the Home Office took the view that it is essentially an administrative matter. The PM agreed.’
Frank said, ‘They’re all playing pass the parcel.’
Can you blame them, when they can hear it ticking?
Humphrey then observed mournfully that the identity card bill would probably be the last action of our Department.
Frank and I, unlike the civil servants, were still puzzled that such a proposal as the Europass could even be seriously under consideration by the FCO. We can both see clearly that it is wonderful ammunition for the anti- Europeans. I asked Humphrey if the Foreign Office doesn’t realise how damaging this would be to the European
