The Complete Yes Minister

I saw through that ploy at once. I insisted that I would take all the decisions and read all the relevant documents.

They’ve given me five boxes for tonight.

October 27th

Today I found that we have a problem with Frank Weisel. It’s Tuesday today, and I realised that I hadn’t seen him since I arrived at the DAA last Saturday morning.

To be quite truthful, I didn’t actually realise it till he barged into my office, shouting and carrying on, demanding to be let in.

It appears that he’s been in the waiting room since Saturday. (I presume he went home on Sunday.) Bernard tried to tell him that he, Humphrey and I were in private conference, but I quickly sorted that out. I demanded that Frank, as my adviser, be given an office in the Department.

Sir Humphrey attempted to fudge the issue, saying that I had a whole Department to advise me now. Nonetheless I insisted.

‘Well,’ said Sir Humphrey, ‘I believe we have some spare office space in Walthamstow, don’t we Bernard?’

Frank was appalled. ‘Walthamstow?’

‘Yes, it’s surprising isn’t it?’ said Sir Humphrey agreeably. ‘The government owns property all over London.’

‘But I don’t want to be in Walthamstow,’ explained Frank at the top of his voice.

‘It’s in a very nice part of Walthamstow,’ put in Bernard.

‘And Walthamstow’s a very nice place. So I gather,’ added Sir Humphrey.

Frank and I looked at each other. If they were not so charming and, well, gentlemanly, you might have thought they were trying to squeeze Frank right out.

‘I need an office here, in this building,’ said Frank, firmly and extremely loudly.

I added my agreement. Sir Humphrey capitulated at once, and told Bernard to find a suitable office right away. I then said, to make assurance doubly sure, that I expected Frank to have copies of all the papers that are given to me.

Bernard seemed surprised. ‘All?’

‘All,’ I said.

Sir Humphrey agreed immediately. ‘It shall be done – all the appropriate papers.’

In my opinion, these civil servants are not nearly so hard to deal with as people say. They are mostly very co- operative, and, even if not initially, always jump to it when spoken to firmly. I think I’m getting somewhere at last.

October 28th

After the last hectic four days, I have a little time to reflect – for posterity – on my first days in office.

First, I am impressed by the thorough grasp the officials at the DAA have of every situation. Second, how they are willing to co-operate fully, albeit under pressure, with Frank Weisel.

Thirdly, I am most struck by my dependence on these civil servants. I, like virtually all our new administration, knew nothing of the workings of Whitehall except what I’d learned second-hand. Because we have been so long in opposition, only three members of the government, including the PM, have ever held office before. I had never seen the inside of a red box, never met a Permanent Secretary, and had no idea how things were really done. [This situation is similar to the one in which the Labour Government of 1964 found itself – Harold Wilson, the PM, was the only member of Cabinet who had previously been a Cabinet Minister – Ed.] This makes us more dependent on our officials than most new governments. Thank goodness they are behaving honourably.

[The following Monday, Sir Humphrey Appleby met Sir Arnold Robinson, Secretary to the Cabinet, at The Reform Club in Pall Mall. Sir Humphrey made a note about the meeting in his private diary.]

[It is interesting to observe that senior civil servants, perhaps because they have spent thirty years writing notes in the margin of a memo or minute, only write in the margin even if there is nothing else on the page – Ed.]

Arnold and I compared notes [on 2 November] about the new government. His new Cabinet is scarcely distinguishable from the last one. My new boy is learning the rules very quickly.

I sounded Arnold out about the American Ambassador – rumour has it he has been spending a lot of time with the PM.

Arnold confirmed this. But was unwilling to say whether it was about defence or trade. He is anxious about a leak – therefore it is imperative that the Cabinet doesn’t hear about it yet.

I concluded, correctly, that it is defence and trade, i.e. the new aerospace systems contract.

The aerospace contract would be a considerable coup for the PM, less than two weeks after the election. Of course, it’s been in the pipeline for months, but the new PM will obviously take the credit.

It will mean four and a half billion dollars, and many new jobs in the Midlands and North-West. All in marginal seats, too – what a coincidence!

This is valuable information. I gathered from Arnold that it would, therefore, be a grave embarrassment to the PM if a hypothetical Minister were to rock the Anglo-American boat. Man overboard. The end of a promising new Ministerial career, in fact.