Motherhood Is Murder

She looked perplexed. Her mouth opened then closed. ?I explained to Sara that Kyle didn?t understand his actions.?

?Did you apologize??

?Apologize?? Evelyn looked horrified. ?Kyle didn?t break skin or anything.?

He bit a baby!

But I couldn?t say it. The words got stuck in my throat.

Evelyn continued, ?Sara seemed to understand. And the baby didn?t cry all that long.?

Note to self: Do not leave Laurie in arm?s reach of a vampire two-year- old.

Evelyn scooped up her flip-flops and began to walk again. ?The whole situation was blown out of proportion. Really, it wasn?t a big deal. But then when I got the e-mails and get this?Helene said, ?Well, if that?s what they?re teaching at Little Bears, when I have kids, you can be sure I won?t send them there.? ?

The Cliff House was suddenly suspended above us; we had made it to the end of the beach. I stopped walking and glanced at my watch?thirty minutes had elapsed.

?Want to start back?? I asked.

?All right.? Evelyn nodded. But instead of turning around, she plopped down in the sand and was silent.

I listened to the lapping sound as the waves crashed against the sand, the tide breaking a few feet from where I stood. I reluctantly sat next to Evelyn, wondering if I would be able to get back up.

I picked up some sand in my fist then slowly let it trickle out like an hourglass. Evelyn watched me, her face showed strain.

?Are you feeling okay?? I asked.

Evelyn shrugged. ?Sure, why not??

?I mean physically? You?re not having contractions or anything, are you??

Why hadn?t I brought my cell phone with me? Jim was right?I needed to make a better habit of it! What if the woman went into labor here on the beach? What was I going to do?

?No, don?t worry. I won?t go into labor on you.? Evelyn picked up a stick and drew a flower in the sand. ?I?m not due for another couple weeks and my first was five days late, so I don?t think I can get that lucky.?

?You never know. And we just had this strenuous walk.?

?You think that was strenuous??

Oh, brother. Now I was going to get into a fitness competition?with a pregnant woman, no less.

She picked up her stick, crossed out the flower. ?Celia is having me walk every day. Supposedly it can help induce labor, but I don?t know. I did my own research and it?s not conclusive. I see her on the fifteenth. Maybe I?ll be dilated.?

I bit my tongue. I could see how having a home birth might be nice. But what about the pain medication, for God?s sake!

Evelyn read my face. ?What??

?Aren?t you concerned, you know, what if something goes wrong??

?If there?s any emergency, you just go to the hospital.?

?What about??

?The epidural didn?t work on me with Kyle. So I experienced labor firsthand. I?m not afraid of that.?

?Wow. You have a lot more courage than me.?

Evelyn laughed. ?It?s all relative. We all have stuff we?re afraid of.?

?What do you think happened to Helene?? I probed.

Evelyn began to draw steps in the sand. ?I went outside to get some fresh air. That?s when I heard Helene and Sara arguing, then Sara stormed off.

?Why was Sara?s dress wet??

Evelyn stopped drawing in the sand. ?Was it? I don?t know.?

I watched the little boat out in the ocean, bobbing up and down with the tide. A seagull showing some moxie cawed at us and approached. Evelyn waved the stick at it and it ran off.

?What about the spouses?? I asked. ?Can you tell me anything about Bruce or Alan??

Evelyn scratched out the steps she had drawn and doodled a heart in the sand. ?I don?t really know them. It was the first time I met them. I thought they were nice enough but my husband said Alan was kind of keyed up.?

?What do you mean??

She shrugged. ?Fred was having a cigar with Howard, Sara?s husband, who said Alan was running around like a chicken with his head cut off.?