'Every straight male alive admires your tush,' I said. 'Not all of them are nice.'
'Well, it's a nice trait,' Susan said. 'Z seemed very ill at ease.'
'Yes.'
'Is he that way with all women, or just Harvard-educated Jewesses?' Susan said.
'I think it's because he isn't going to have sex with you,' I said.
'Why not?' Susan said.
'Because you're with me,' I said.
'Oh, good,' Susan said. 'I'd hate to think he didn't want to.'
'The straight male populace of the known world wants to,' I said.
'Are you saying he only knows how to relate to women if they are prospective sex partners?'
'Be my guess,' I said.
'And men?'
'Prospective adversaries,' I said.
'And you know this how?'
'Because I know stuff,' I said.
'You're so certain,' Susan said. 'How come you're so certain?'
'In the barren days before I met you,' I said, 'I might have had a touch of that.'
'I'm shocked,' Susan said. 'Shocked, I tell you.'
'Let's go eat,' I said.
32
I CALLED A COP I knew in L.A. named Samuelson.
'Calling to see how it's going with a Boston guy as chief,' I said.
'Best cop I ever worked for,' Samuelson said. 'Whaddya want?'
'I'm calling to inquire as to your well-being, and you're giving me 'Whaddya want'?'
'Correct,' Samuelson said.
'Ever make captain?' I said.
'Yes.'
'Makes me proud,' I said, 'just to know you.'
'Will you get to the favor you want me to do you,' Samuelson said.
'You think I'd only call because I needed a favor?' I said.
'Correct.'
'That's cynical,' I said.
'You think being a cop for thirty years is going to make me idealistic?' Samuelson said.
'Didn't you join the force in order to protect and serve?' I said.
'Sanitation department wasn't hiring,' Samuelson said. 'Whaddya want?'
'I'm interested in finding out whatever I can about a woman named Alice DeLauria,' I said. 'Jumbo Nelson's agent.'
'Has her own agency,' Samuelson said. 'Alice DeLauria Inc.'
'Ah, you know her.'
'Her old man is to the Anglo Mob in L.A. what your pal del Rio is to the Latino Mob.'
'His name DeLauria?'
'No,' Samuelson said. 'His name is Nicky Fellscroft. She's married to one of his associates, guy named Stephano DeLauria.'
'He a hood?'
'Stephano? You bet. He's Nicky's enforcer.'
'Any good?' I said.
'World-class,' Samuelson said.
'And Alice DeLauria?'
'Close family,' Samuelson said.
