Seattle Noir

talking about?

You cut her throat. I saw you.

Sweet mother of God, says Mineo, and now he looks like he’s gonna puke.

Listen, you freak, says Widmark. You can get in a lot of trouble making up stuff like that. People will think you’re nuts.

Just tell me why you did it, Richard.

Richard? He blinks. Who do you think I am?

Richard Widmark, says Petey. You were great in Kiss of Death. I hated the remake.

Sal Mineo laughs, high-pitched squeals.

Petey curses himself. He knows the blond guy isn’t the actor. But Fremont confuses him, tangles him in its fantasy world. He needs Fox and Strabo to tell him what’s real, and the cowards have turned tail.

You’re a whack job, says Mineo. No one will believe a word you say.

I’ve got her address book, says Petey.

That stops them for a moment.

So what? asks Widmark. That proves you killed her.

You thought it was her wallet, says Petey. You pulled it out of her purse and left it on the pavement. I’ll bet it’s got fingerprints.

The movie stars exchange a glance. I thought you had it, says Mineo.

Shut up, snaps Widmark. He looks around. The rain has given up and more people are on the street. He puts an arm lightly around Petey’s shoulders.

What’s your name?

Petey.

Okay, Petey. Let’s take a little walk and I’ll explain the whole thing.

He shrugs off the arm. I’m not going anywhere with you.

You’ve got us wrong, Petey. Whatever you think you saw-that woman had it coming. She was part of the problem.

Petey frowns. What do you mean?

Widmark chuckles. Think about it, Petey. Think of everything that’s gone wrong in your life. All the backstabbers, all the pointless crap that’s been dumped on you. You remember it?

I remember.

Well, she was the reason for it, Petey. Her and people like her. They’re the cause of all our troubles.

Widmark shrugs. But if you don’t want to know the truth…

Wait. Petey looks around but his friends are nowhere in sight. Damn it.

We can explain it all, but not in a crowd. Come with us, Petey.

Fox and Strabo would tell him to stay the hell away from these two, but they aren’t here, are they? Screw them.

Petey walks between the movie stars, while Widmark talks casually, easily, as if this were any old day. Nobody, nobody sane, has chatted with him like this, like friends, in a long, long time.

They turn right on 34th, heading away from the gray plaster zombies, the scene of the crime, and toward the paved path that runs beside the Ship Canal. All the time Petey looks over his shoulder for Fox and Strabo, but they are nowhere to be seen.

Okay, Petey, says Widmark, here’s the truth. That girl had to go because she was working for the bad guys.

What bad guys?

Widmark laughs. Come on, Petey. You’re a smart man. You already know who the troublemakers are, don’t you? Just say it.

Petey takes a deep breath. The movie stars are staring. He’s all alone, and suddenly terrified of giving the wrong answer.

Starbucks?

Mineo laughs again. He hides his face in his hands, shoulders jerking.

Shut up, says Widmark. This is serious. That’s exactly right, Petey. She was a spy for Starbucks.

Those bastards. They stole my wife.

Sounds just like them. But Petey, you have no idea what they’re really doing. He leans close, eyes narrow. They put drugs in their drinks to control us.

Yeah?

If only Fox and Strabo were here. They were never gonna believe this.

Do you drink their coffee, Petey?

I used to.

That’s what screwed your brain up, says Mineo. Java withdrawal.

Let me handle this, says Widmark. All the bad stuff that’s happened to you is Starbucks’ fault, Petey. All part of their plot.

He’s stunned. It makes sense at a level logic never seemed to reach before.

That girl knew their plans, Petey. We asked her to help us but the bitch was gonna turn us in. It was self- defense, you see?

I guess so. Petey looks around again. They are deep in the dripping green heart of the trail now, and haven’t seen anyone for almost a block.

Good man. The shame of it is, she wouldn’t tell us what she knew. And she had the names and addresses of everyone in on the plot.

Widmark shakes his head sadly. Damn it, Petey. If we had those names we could catch them all. We could stop them!

I got their names! Petey reaches into his jacket and pulls out the black address book.

Bingo, says Mineo.

That’s all we need, says Widmark, grinning. Give it to Jerry.

Who?

Me, says Mineo, and grabs it. Do it now. This is perfect.

Petey looks back at Widmark, who has pulled a knife out of his jacket.

It’s time, Petey.

Wait a minute.

You can go quietly like a man, or squealing like a little girl. What do you choose?

What else’ve you got? asks Petey.

There’s no one in sight. This piece of the trail is blocked off from the canal by bushes and trees, and blocked from the street by-

What the hell is that?

Mineo looks and laughs. That’s a topiary dinosaur. A full-size brontosaurus made of plants. It’s gonna eat you up, Petey!

You buffoon, says Strabo. It’s an apatosaurus!

Where the hell have you been? asks Petey.

Who? asks Widmark, coming closer.

Run now! yells Fox.

Widmark swings and Petey raises his left arm. The knife cuts through his jacket, slices into his forearm. It hurts like hell.

Grab him! shouts Widmark, but Mineo sees the blood and hesitates.

Swing the fruit! yells Fox, and Petey grabs one of Mineo’s skinny arms with both bloody hands and spins like a discus thrower. The movie stars collide and tumble to the pavement. The knife and address book go flying.

Run, boy!