Chameleon's Shadow

‘Every way .. . in bed . .. talking . . . having fun . . . when we were out. It worked.’ She smiled slightly. ‘I asked him once if he ever thought about being with another woman and he said only Uma Thurman . . . but I think he was joking.’

‘I imagine a lot of men fantasize about Uma Thurman. Do you replicate the image to encourage them to transfer their fantasies to you?’

Another tiny shrug. ‘It’s not something I can help. God made me this way.’

Willis eyed her with amusement. ‘I don’t do God, Ms Morley. I’m of the existentialist view . . . that each individual chooses, and takes responsibility for, the path he or she follows in life.’ He replaced his spectacles on his nose, tucking the arms behind his ears. ‘And, with respect, I’m not convinced that a passing resemblance to a successful actress is a good enough reason to hitch a free ride on her reputation. Rightly or wrongly, it suggests to me that you lack the confidence to be yourself.’

She half-lowered her lids to hide her expression. ‘Is that something Charlie said?’

‘No. I was reflecting on your comments in your email about chameleons lacking confidence. It’s a description that seems to fit you rather better than it fits Charles.’

‘You don’t know him the way I do.’

Willis smiled. ‘I’d be a millionaire by now if I’d been given a pound every time someone said that.’ He clasped his hands in front of him. ‘He doesn’t seem to share your enthusiasm for Uma Thurman.’

‘That’s not true.’

‘A couple of minutes ago you said he referred to her as a joke.’

‘Not her. Him being with her. He knows it’ll never happen.’ She touched the tissue to her eyes. ‘Me dressing up was the next best thing. Why do you think my friend described me as an exotic bird? I had to deck myself out like Irene Cassini in Gattaca – the Uma Thurman character Charlie most fancies . . . like this –’ she gestured towards her suit – ‘otherwise he couldn’t do it.’

‘What?’

‘Sex.’

Willis let the word hang in the air while he thought about the monkish young man upstairs who avoided all contact with female nurses. Was Jen telling the truth? It would explain a few things if she was, he reflected, not least Charles’s refusal to go anywhere near the subject of sex. ‘I’m not sure I understand. Are you saying he couldn’t achieve an erection without the Uma Thurman stimulus?’

She smiled unhappily. ‘Not at the beginning. It was just a game at the beginning.’

Willis made what he could of this. ‘And then the game took over. Charles preferred the fantasy woman to the real one. Is that what happened?’

‘It made him angry if I refused.’

Willis thought of the conversations he’d had with Charles about Jen’s resemblance to Uma Thurman. The lieutenant had certainly talked about a ‘fantasy’, but not in the kind of terms that suggested arousal. ‘Then I wonder why he didn’t respond more positively towards you today,’ he said slowly. ‘You seem to have done everything you could to evoke positive memories.’

‘He wouldn’t look at me. He stood by the window with his face turned away.’

‘Not all the time. He wouldn’t have been able to catch your hands otherwise.’

‘It was too late by then. He’d already lost his temper.’

‘With Jen Morley or Uma Thurman?’

‘What difference does it make?’

‘It seems quite crucial to me. If he lost his temper with Jen Morley why would he want to throttle Uma Thurman? You seem to have irritated him in both roles.’ He folded his hands under his chin. ‘Are you sure this isn’t your sexual fantasy, Ms Morley?’

Dampness welled in her eyes. ‘Why are you being cruel to me?’

Willis showed surprise again. ‘It was a fair question. I assumed you wouldn’t have come dressed like that if you hadn’t been looking for intimacy with Charles. It suggests the fantasy was a mutual one . . . in your mind anyway.’

‘That’s disgusting,’ she said with a sudden show of anger.

‘Then I’m mystified, Ms Morley. What was the point of today’s exercise? What were you trying to achieve?’

The question seemed to worry her because she checked the contents of her bag while she worked out an answer. ‘What you said before . . . I was trying to remind him of the good times. He liked the attention I got when we were out and people mistook me for Uma.’

Willis frowned. ‘I thought you said he was jealous. The parallel you used was a guard dog who snapped at anyone who came too close.’

She stared at him with growing irritation. ‘But it gave him a hell of a buzz at the same time. He loved the idea that other men envied him.’

‘I’m sure he did,’ he said easily. ‘It’s a common duality of emotion. Did you feel the same way? He was a good- looking man before his injury.’

‘Are you asking do I get jealous? Then, no, I’ve never needed to be,’ she said dismissively. ‘Men are more afraid of losing me than I am of losing them, Dr Willis. That may sound boastful, but it’s true.’

‘Not in the least. You’ve obviously had far more relationships than Charles.’