Chameleon's Shadow

‘So?’

‘They don’t seem to last very long. Is it always you who ends them?’

‘It’s hardly going to be the man, is it?’

Willis smiled. ‘I don’t know, Ms Morley,’ he said honestly. ‘I’m having trouble understanding why Charles is so unwilling to mend fences if it was you who broke the engagement. In my experience, it’s the partner who doesn’t want the affair to end who tries to resurrect it . . . and the one who makes the decision to split who moves on.’

‘Charlie hasn’t moved on. He’d be taking visits and phone calls if he had.’

This time Willis’s nod was a genuine recognition that she was right. Whatever bonds had held these two together were still strong. Nevertheless . . . ‘He won’t talk about you . . . won’t read your letters . . . indeed, shows every determination to draw a line under the relationship. Why would he do that unless he’s made up his mind to confine you to history?’

He’d finally goaded her into showing her anger openly. ‘Because he’s ashamed,’ she said through gritted teeth. ‘And if you want to know why . . . which you probably don’t, since you’re on his side . . . it’s because he raped me. And it wasn’t just any old rape. He pushed me against a wall and buggered me. I bet that little fact hasn’t come out in your cosy conversations with him.’

‘No,’ Willis agreed matter-of-factly, ‘but I guessed something of the sort from your email. You said he was violent towards you.’ He might have added that Charles’s demeanour, whenever the subject of Jen came up, also suggested shame.

‘He behaved like a brute,’ she said with a pronounced shudder. ‘I’ve never been so frightened.’

‘I’m not surprised. Rape is a terrifying ordeal under any circumstance.’ Willis let a beat of silence pass. ‘Shouldn’t you have thought more seriously about coming to see him alone today?’

She delayed answering by blowing her nose. Too forcefully. When she took the tissue away there was a smear of blood on her upper lip. ‘He hasn’t tried to strangle me before . . . or looked as if he was getting a thrill out of hurting me.’ Her eyes narrowed. ‘And before you ask whether he got a thrill out of the rape,’ she went on belligerently, ‘the answer is I don’t know because I couldn’t see his face. When he’d finished, he pushed me to the ground and left.’

‘And that was the last time you saw him before today?’

‘Yes.’ She rushed to pre-empt him again. ‘And the reason I wasn’t afraid about coming alone was because this is a hospital, Dr Willis.’ She gave an angry laugh. ‘I thought it would be a safe place to talk to him. I expected him to be on a ward . . . or at least that there’d be a few doctors and nurses around.’

‘Mm.’ Willis set to with his spectacles again, breathing on the lenses and using his handkerchief to wipe them clean. ‘Which makes it more surprising that you chose to play up to his Uma Thurman fantasy . . . and didn’t leave when he asked you to.’

The glasses routine was getting on her nerves. ‘I could have had him booted out of his regiment if I’d reported him . . . still could, probably. The army doesn’t condone rape any more than the rest of society does. How do you think the police will react if I say he had another go at me today?’

‘At a guess, question your motives in coming here . . . ask why you didn’t report the rape at the time . . . or why you began by telling hospital security that you didn’t want the authorities involved this time.’ He shook his head at her expression. ‘You’re on a slippery slope to real delusion if you think you can act the victim in this, Jen. The police will work out, as quickly as I’ve done, that it’s you who’s been using sex to manipulate this relationship, and that’s a poor basis for a rape allegation . . . particularly when there’s only your word that it happened.’

Her eyes hardened. ‘You’d better hope I don’t report you to whatever association you belong to. I bet there’s nothing in the psychiatric code that says it’s OK to condone violence against women just because the rapist’s your patient.’

‘I’m sure you’re right,’ Willis agreed lightly, ‘but it’s a big leap from my pointing out the flaws in your story to you accusing me of condoning violence against women. I’d find your allegation more believable if you’d said you’d made a crude attempt to seduce Charles. He’s a fastidious man – I suspect he’d regard any such attempt as exploitative and demeaning – and I can imagine him turning on you in those circumstances. Rather as he did today, in fact.’

‘You weren’t there. You don’t know anything about it.’

Willis replaced his spectacles. ‘Except you obviously came dressed like that for a purpose – to trigger some pleasurable memories, perhaps – and it appears to have provoked the opposite response. Charles has only negative associations with your Uma Thurman look. Do you want to tell me why?’

‘No.’ She stood up abruptly, clasping her bag to her chest. ‘It’s late. I have to go.’

‘Then I’ll take you to the taxi rank in the visitors’ car park. There’s a short cut through the staff entrance.’

‘I don’t need an escort,’ she said. ‘I want the Ladies. I’ll leave by the main entrance.’

Willis shook his head as he rose to his feet. ‘I can’t let you go alone, I’m afraid. If you insist on a lavatory stop, I’ll have to call a female security officer to accompany you.’

Jen looked murderous. ‘Why?’

The psychiatrist gave an apologetic shrug. ‘Hospital policy. We don’t allow drug abuse on the premises. What you do outside is a matter between you and your conscience . . . but I’d show some restraint if I were you.’

She took a swipe at him with her bag and staggered slightly when she missed by a mile.

He eyed her with amusement. ‘I’m just the messenger, Ms Morley. Don’t shoot me because you don’t like what I say.’

‘Fuck you!’ she said out of the mouth of an otherworldly angel.