'I thought you might have something to suggest. Don't you think it
possible that somehow Mortimer might take it into his head to break the
engagement himself?'
'Absurd! He loves you devotedly.'
'I'm afraid so. Only the other day I dropped one of his best vases, and
he just smiled and said it didn't matter.'
'I can give you even better proof than that. This morning Mortimer came
to me and asked me to give him secret lessons in golf.'
'Golf! But he despises golf.'
'Exactly. But he is going to learn it for your sake.'
'But why secret lessons?'
'Because he wants to keep it a surprise for your birthday. Now can you
doubt his love?'
'I am not worthy of him!' she whispered.
The words gave me an idea.
'Suppose,' I said, 'we could convince Mortimer of that!'
'I don't understand.'
'Suppose, for instance, he could be made to believe that you were, let
us say, a dipsomaniac.'
She shook her head. 'He knows that already.'
'What!'
'Yes; I told him I sometimes walked in my sleep.'
'I mean a secret drinker.'
'Nothing will induce me to pretend to be a secret drinker.'
'Then a drug-fiend?' I suggested, hopefully.
'I hate medicine.'
'I have it!' I said. 'A kleptomaniac.'
'What is that?'
'A person who steals things.'
'Oh, that's horrid.'
'Not at all. It's a perfectly ladylike thing to do. You don't know you
do it.'
'But, if I don't know I do it, how do I know I do it?'
'I beg your pardon?'
'I mean, how can I tell Mortimer I do it if I don't know?'
'You don't tell him. I will tell him. I will inform him tomorrow that
you called on me this afternoon and stole my watch and'--I glanced
about the room--'my silver matchbox.'
'I'd rather have that little vinaigrette.'
'You don't get either. I merely say you stole it. What will happen?'
'Mortimer will hit you with a cleek.'
'Not at all. I am an old man. My white hairs protect me. What he will
do is to insist on confronting me with you and asking you to deny the
foul charge.'
'And then?'
'Then you admit it and release him from his engagement.'
She sat for a while in silence. I could see that my words had made an
impression.
'I think it's a splendid idea. Thank you very much.' She rose and moved
