The Terrible Privacy Of Maxwell Sim

in stormy weather! Anyway, the road is getting pretty – pretty winding and treacherous around here, I’m sticking to a steady twenty miles an hour or so and supplies – petrol supplies that is – are pretty low, and – whoops, here comes a big bend, didn’t see that one coming, and if you’re wondering what that sound was, it was the sound of the camera sliding off the dashboard and on to the floor, which is why you currently have a good view of my left foot.

‘OK. Cut.’

‘Emma?

‘Emma, are you still there?’

– Yes, I’m still here.

‘You haven’t said anything for a while.’

– I’m still here. What is it?

‘Shall we stop soon? I’m getting tired again.’

– Proceed on the current road.

‘OK. Whatever you say. Is this a good time to talk, though?’

– In three hundred yards, make a U-turn.

‘Don’t you ever give up? I wanted to talk to you about my dad, and Roger.’

– Proceed on the current road.

‘I’ve been thinking about it, and maybe it’s not such a sad story. You know, in a way they loved each other. I mean, Roger sounds a bit of a bully, and a bit of a prick, but I think he really cared for my father. And that means that at least somebody really cared for him, once. I’m not sure that Mum ever did, you see. If you think about it, Roger and my dad were just unlucky. And it was Crispin Lambert who screwed things up for them, most of all. If it wasn’t for him and his stupid schemes, things might have turned out all right. Although, I don’t know whether my father would ever really have had the nerve to come out, to admit to himself that he was …the person he was. But the path he chose for himself was much harder, in a way. Deceiving himself, deceiving everybody close to him – for a whole lifetime. That’s what Crowhurst was considering, too, isn’t it? Must be why he reminded me of Dad …

‘Emma … ?’

– Proceed on the current road.

– Proceed on the current road.

‘It’s all very well saying that now. I can’t proceed any further on the current road. Look – it’s closed. The police have closed it. They’ve put a gate across it.

‘Where the hell are we, anyway? Didn’t we just pass a town?

‘Let’s have a look. Yes, there we are. That’s us – that little red arrow on the screen, come to a dead halt. That’s you and me, that is. But look, if we just go back a while, there’s a tiny road to the west that’ll by-pass this gate, and bring us back on to the main road. Then we’ve got to climb up this mountain, over the top and down the other side again. No worries.

‘Thing is, I’m not sure we’ve got enough petrol. That warning light’s been flashing for a while now. Still, never mind, eh? What’s the worst that can happen to us? We’ve got our whisky, we’ve got each other – let’s make a night of it. What do you say?’

– It’s up to you, Max. Completely up to you.

‘Good girl. Come on then.’

*‘The wheels on the bus go round and round,Round and round, round and round,The wheels on the bus go round and round, all day long.The wipers on the bus go swish swish swish,Swish swish swish, swish swish swish,The wipers on the bus go swish swish swish, all day long.

‘Do you know that song, Emma? You must do. You can join in if you like. Come on, sing along. It’s good to have a bit of a sing-song, when you’re in dire straits. Keeps your spirits up.‘The horn on the bus goes beep beep beep,Beep beep beep, beep beep beep,The horn on the bus goes beep beep beep, all day long.

‘What’s the matter, don’t you know the words? I used to sing this with Lucy all the time. Know it off by heart. I wonder if she still remembers them? We used to sing it in bed, first thing in the morning. At the weekends, Caroline would get up and have the first shower and I’d stay in bed and then Lucy would jump in with me and sit on my stomach and we’d sing this song.’

– I don’t know the words.

‘Well, the next verse goes like this:‘The children on the bus go up and down,Up and down, up and down,The children on the bus go up and down, all day long.

‘Then:‘The babies on the bus go wah wah wah,Wah wah wah, wah wah wah,The babies on the bus go wah wah wah, all day …

‘Do you know what? I don’t think we’re going to make it up this hill. The car’s not built for this kind of driving. It’s not gripping properly on the ice. And did you hear that splutter? That sounds to me like the sound of a car that’s running out of gas. So close, as well! If we could just get to the top then we could probably freewheel all the way down the other side. But sadly … I don’t think we’re going to make it.

‘Nope. We’re out of luck.

‘Stuck. Stranded.

‘Quiet, isn’t it?’

– Very quiet.

‘You know where we are, don’t you?’

– Where are we, Max?

‘The doldrums, of course. We’re in the doldrums, just like Donald Crowhurst when his radio finally packed in. He had a broken radio, I’ve got a dead mobile.’

– But, Max, there’s something I want you to remember. Something very important. You’re not