The Terrible Privacy Of Maxwell Sim

Donald Crowhurst. You are Maxwell Sim.

‘No, you don’t understand. You still don’t get it. Everything that happened to him is happening to me. It’s happening now.’

– We’re in the Cairngorms. Not the Sargasso Sea.

‘Close your eyes and we could be anywhere.’

– The inside of his cabin was hot. Here it is cold.

‘Well, that’s easily fixed. We’ll put the heating on full blast.’

– If you do that, Max, the battery will soon be flat.

‘I don’t care. And Crowhurst was naked, wasn’t he? Didn’t he spend a lot of his last few weeks naked?’

– Max, please don’t do that. Control yourself.

‘What’s the matter, have you never seen a naked man before? No, I suppose you haven’t.’

– Max, stop it. Put that shirt back on. And turn the heating down. It’s already getting too hot in here. You’ll waste the battery.

‘Here come the trousers. Look away now if you don’t want to get a shock. There! Now we’re all comfy and cosy. No secrets between us. How about a wee dram, at this point? Talisker, we’ve got, twenty-five years old, courtesy of Alison and Philip. You won’t join me? Well, I can’t say I blame you. Very wise. I’ve had enough of this stuff already today, but if we’re going to get through a whole night on this mountainside …’

‘What? What happened? Where am I?

‘Emma?’

– I’m here, Max.

‘Did I fall asleep?’

– Yes, you did. For more than an hour.

‘Really? Shit, I was hoping it would be longer than that. God, it’s hot in here.’

– The heater’s been on all this time. I told you not to keep it on so high. Now there’s hardly any power in the battery. You know what that means, don’t you, Max?

‘No, what does that mean?’

– It means that I’m going to go soon. I’m fading away.

‘Oh, no! Not that, Emma! Not you as well. Don’t leave me, please.’

– Soon I’ll be gone. Just a few more minutes.

‘I’ll turn the heating down. I’ll turn it off completely.’

– No, Max, it’s too late. We have to say goodbye to each other.

‘But, Emma, I can’t do without you. You’ve been … everything to me, these last few days. Without you … Without you, I can’t go on.’

– It has to be this way.

‘No! You can’t go!I NEED YOU.’

– Don’t cry, Max. We’ve had some good times together. Now it’s run its course. Accept it, if you can. We have just a few more minutes together.

‘I can’t accept it. No.’

– Is there anything you want to tell me in that time?

‘What? What do you mean?’

– Is there perhaps something you want to tell me, before I go?

‘I don’t understand.’

– I think there’s something you ought to tell me. Your little secret. Something you never told Caroline. Something that involves Chris.

‘Chris?’

– Yes. Now you know what I’m talking about, don’t you?

‘You mean …’

– Yes?

‘You mean what happened in Ireland. The nettle pit?’

– That’s it. Come on, now, Max. You’ll feel better if you tell someone.

‘Oh God … Oh God … How did you know about that?’

– Just say it out loud. Just tell me what happened. Tell me what happened to poor little Joe. What you did to him.

‘Fuck … fuck … FUCK.’

– That’s all right. Cry if you want to. Let it all out.