Not My Daughter

not just Melissa Randolph, so that while Susan wasn't quoted, others in town had provided enough information to fill an entire page. The good news was that the story was at the end of the issue. The bad news was that the word pact grabbed the reader first, making it hard not to want to finish the piece. Moreover-in Susan's mind, at least- pulling up the rear after the mothers of the drunk and the thief, she came across less as a besieged innocent than as a woman who was guilty as hell-and a lousy mom, to boot.

Add lousy principal to that. Or so Phil implied. He faulted her for allowing reporters into the school, and pointed out that he had been called but refused to talk. When he suggested that her ability to do her job was compromised, she listed all she had done that week. And when he again raised the idea of taking a leave, she repeated the argument she had made in November when word of Lily's pregnancy first leaked out-that her dealing firsthand with students and parents was the best way to go.

She held an emergency faculty meeting that afternoon to alert her staff, which was uniformly supportive.

Evan Brewer had a prior commitment and didn't attend.

***

Susan went to bed early that night. She was lying awake in the dark when Rick slipped in and sat beside her. He was fully dressed.

'This has taken a toll,' he said softly.

'It's cumulative. I feel weak.'

'Angry.'

'That, too. I can't sue People, because they didn't print anything false or defamatory. I can't strangle these three girls, because I love them too much. I can't fire Phil, because he's my boss.' She paused and reached for his hand. 'And I can't fault you for what you said. You may be right. I may be giving Lily the wrong message. I may have given her the wrong one all along. I thought I was teaching her to be strong and self-sufficient. I thought I was teaching her responsibility-that she was in charge of her own life.'

'You have. You've produced an incredibly strong, independent, responsible young woman.'

'Who's afraid of being hurt, like I was,' Susan admitted and waited for his reaction.

He was quiet for a time, studying their hands. 'You had reason. We rely on our parents for unconditional love. Yours took theirs back. So you built a wall. I'd have done the same.'

'That doesn't make it right. Walls are isolating. The thing is, we have such good friends here that we don't feel isolated.'

'Maybe that's all you need,' he said. Before she could respond, he stretched out on the quilt with his forehead to her cheek and her hand near his heart.

There was so much to say that she didn't know where to begin, and she was suddenly too filled with emotion to speak. So she slept.

Kate woke up at two. She might have heard one of the boys coming home from a date, but there were no footsteps on the stairs. Slipping out of bed, she checked the window. The driveway was full of parked cars, everyone in for the night.

Arms around her waist, she stared out at the dark for a bit. When she began to feel chilled, she thought of returning to Will. But other thoughts-new thoughts-had come to her mind.

Taking her robe from a hook on the back of her door, she went down to the kitchen and brewed a cup of tea. Setting the mug on the table, she settled sideways on the bench and tucked her feet under her robe.

Five minutes passed-or was it ten? The microwave clock had died six months before. But she heard footsteps in the room over her head and knew Will was coming.

'Hey,' he whispered moments later. He was a big, gentle guy in a frayed T-shirt and boxer shorts. 'You okay?'

'Maybe.'

Will didn't normally sit on the bench, preferring the openness of a chair. But with surprising grace, he folded himself there now and tucked Kate's feet under his thighs. 'Why am I guessing you're not thinking about People?'

Chin on her knees, she smiled. 'I wish I was. People is irrelevant. It stays for a week, then gets thrown in the trash. It's the important stuff that stays.'

'Like babies.'

'Like moms and the things they say. I've said things I wish I could take back. I haven't been the best mother in the world.'

He made a dismissive sound. 'You're too hard on yourself.'

'Maybe. But it's how I feel. I'm not happy Mary Kate's pregnant, but I'm not about to give the baby back. I know how to roll with the punches. And Mary Kate's baby is healthy. We're very lucky.' More so than Susan. Lily's situation had shaken her. It put things in a new light. 'Her little guy's in rough shape.'

'They'll fix him up.'

'We hope.'

'Heeey. Weren't we always positive when you were pregnant? Jason was breech, and they delivered him fine. The twins were a month early.'

'This is different,' said Kate. 'Google CDH, and the picture you get is serious. If they decided on surgery, that baby has to be pretty bad. The prognosis may be good, but it's scary. What if this was Mary Kate's baby? I'd be sick.' She looked around her kitchen. 'We need a new microwave. The oven struggles to light, and the fridge is on its last legs. All petty. Just like me. And they're going after Susan for being a bad mom?'

A movement at the door drew her eye. Mary Kate was a waif, standing there in her nightgown. While Kate loved all her children, this one was still her baby. There was something to be said for that.

She patted the bench, and seconds later, her baby was there. 'Did we wake you?'

The girl gave a quick headshake. 'I keep thinking about how things go wrong. I don't know what happened, Mom. Last summer everything sounded so easy, and now all this?'

'No day at the beach.'

'If I'd imagined the half of it, I might not have gone ahead.'

It was a life lesson, Kate realized, but in what? Kate often acted on impulse without thinking things through. Was Mary Kate all that different?

Thinking that her own hair, loose for the night, was every bit as wild as her daughter's, she touched the small mound of Mary Kate's belly. 'Still, it's my grandson in here.' They had just learned it was a boy.

Mary Kate covered her hand. 'A little Jacob.' She teared up. Kate guessed she was missing Jacob badly-a sad life lesson there. 'What if my baby has problems?'

'Your sonogram was perfect,' Kate said. 'We had them look closely.'

'Okay, but what if he's an impossible baby?'

'We'll have to make sure he isn't.'

'How?'

'By giving him care and understanding. By letting his uncles earn their keep by playing ball with him in the yard. By giving him love.'

'Love isn't enough when there's a physical problem.'

'When it's all you have, it's enough.' Will's hand was warm on her leg.

Mary Kate studied them. Finally, with hopeful innocence, she asked, 'You're really okay with this?'

Kate decided that she really was. Life wasn't about a crowded kitchen or bedrooms crammed with beds. In pleasing her own baby, Kate felt the kind of satisfaction she hadn't since Mary Kate had broken the news. Pulling her daughter close, she held on tightly.

Sunny hadn't slept well for weeks, but the last two nights were the worst. She wanted to blame it on the media. Talk about public humiliation? As punishment went for her sins, this was harsh.

Not so harsh, though, as what was happening with Lily's baby. When she awoke in the dark now, she thought about this. Birth defects were always sobering, but when they happened to someone you knew? She wasn't sure whom she felt most sorry for-Susan, Lily, or the baby.

As she tossed restlessly, her thoughts drifted back to Jessica. The girl was shaken, no longer as smug as she