Room: A Novel

he opens the door? I think I might—“I figure there must be something wrong,” he’s saying to Ma, “you’ve never let me get a good look since the day he was born. Poor little freak’s got two heads or something?”

Why he said that? I nearly want to put my one head out of Wardrobe, just to show him.

Ma’s there in front of the slats, I can see the knobs of her shoulder blades through her T-shirt. “He’s just shy.”

“He’s got no reason to be shy of me,” says Old Nick. “Never laid a hand on him.”

Why would he laid his hand on me?

“Bought him that fancy jeep, didn’t I? I know boys, I was one once. C’mon, Jack—”

He said my name.

“C’mon out and get your lollipop.”

A lollipop!

“Let’s just go to bed.” Ma’s voice is strange.

Old Nick does a kind of laugh. “I know what you need, missy.”

What Ma needs? Is it something on the list?

“Come on,” she says again.

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you manners?”

Lamp goes out.

But Ma doesn’t have a mother.

Bed’s loud, that’s him getting in.

I put Blanket over my head and press my ears so not to hear. I don’t want to count the creaks but I do.

• • •

When I wake up I’m still in Wardrobe and it’s totally dark.

I wonder if Old Nick is still here. And the lollipop?

The rule is, stay in Wardrobe till Ma comes for me.

I wonder what color the lollipop is. Are there colors in the dark?

I try to switch off again but I’m all on.

I could put my head out just to—

I push open the doors, real slow and quiet. All I can hear is the hum of Refrigerator. I stand up, I go one step, two step, three. I stub my toe on something owwwwwww. I pick it up and it’s a shoe, a giant shoe. I’m looking at Bed, there he is, Old Nick, his face is made of rock I think. I put my finger out, not to touch it, just nearly.

His eyes flash all white. I jump back, I drop the shoe. I think he might shout but he’s grinning with big shiny teeth, he says, “Hey, sonny.” I don’t know what that — Then Ma is louder than I ever heard her even doing Scream. “Get away, get away from him!”

I race back to Wardrobe, I bang my head, arghhhhh, she keeps screeching, “Get away from him.”

“Shut up,” Old Nick is saying, “shut up.” He calls her words I can’t hear through the screaming. Then her voice gets blurry. “Stop that noise,” he’s saying.

Ma is going mmmmmmm instead of words. I hold my head where it banged, I wrap it up in my two hands.

“You’re a basket case, you know that?”

“I can be quiet,” she says, she’s nearly whispering, I hear her breath all scratchy. “You know how quiet I can be, so long as you leave him alone. It’s all I’ve ever asked.”

Old Nick snorts. “You ask for stuff every time I open the door.”

“It’s all for Jack.”

“Yeah, well, don’t forget where you got him.”

I’m listening very hard but Ma doesn’t say anything.

Sounds. Him getting his clothes? His shoes, I think he’s doing on his shoes.

I don’t sleep after he’s gone. I’m on all the night in Wardrobe. I wait hundreds of hours but Ma doesn’t come for me.

• • •

I’m looking up at Roof when suddenly it lifts off and the sky rushes in and the rockets and the cows and the trees are crashing down on my head — No, I’m in Bed, Skylight’s starting to drip down light, it must be morning.

“Just a bad dream,” says Ma, stroking my cheek.

I have some but not much, the yummy left.

Then I remember, and I wriggle up in Bed to check her for new marks on her but I don’t see any. “I’m sorry I came out of Wardrobe in the night.” “I know,” she says.

Is that the same as forgiving? I’m remembering more. “What’s a little freak?”

“Oh, Jack.”

“Why he said something’s wrong with me?”

Ma groans. “There’s not a thing wrong with you, you’re right all the way through.” She kisses my nose.

“But why he said it?”

“He’s just trying to drive me crazy.”

“Why he’s—?”

“You know how you like to play with cars and balloons and stuff? Well, he likes to play with my head.” She taps it.

I don’t know to play with heads. “Is laid off like lying down?”

“No, it means he lost his job,” says Ma.

I thought only things could get lost, like one of our pins from the six. Everything must be different in Outside. “Why he said don’t forget where you got me?” “Oh, give it a rest for one minute, will you?”

I’m counting on mute, one hippopotamus two hippopotamus, all the sixty seconds the questions are bouncing up and down in my head.

Ma is filling a glass of milk for her, she doesn’t do one for me. She stares into Refrigerator, the light’s not coming on, that’s weird. She shuts the door again.

The minute’s up. “Why he said don’t forget where you got me? Wasn’t it Heaven?”

Ma is clicking Lamp but he won’t wake up either. “He meant — who you belong to.”

“I belong to you.”

She gives me a small grin.

“Is Lamp’s bulb used up?”

“I don’t think that’s it.” She shivers, she goes over to look at Thermostat.

“Why he told you not to forget?”

“Well actually, he’s got it all wrong, he thinks you belong to him.”

Ha! “He’s a numbskull.”

Ma’s staring at Thermostat. “Power cut.”

“What’s that?”

“There’s no power in anything just now.”

It’s a strange kind of day.

We have our cereal and brush teeth and get dressed and water Plant. We try and fill Bath but after the first bit the water comes out all icy so we just wash with cloths. It gets brighter through Skylight only not very. TV doesn’t work too, I miss my friends. I pretend they’re coming on the screen, I pat them with my fingers. Ma says let’s put on another shirt and pants each to be warm, even two socks each foot. We run Track for miles and miles and miles to warm us up, then Ma lets me take off the outside socks because my toes are all squished. “My ears hurt,” I tell her.

Her eyebrows go up.

“It’s too quiet in them.”

“Ah, that’s because we’re not hearing all the little sounds we’re used to, like the heat coming on or the refrigerator hum.” I play with Bad Tooth, I hide him in different places like under Dresser and in the rice and behind Dish Soap. I try and forget where he is, then I’m all surprised. Ma’s chopping all the green beans from Freezer, why