The Hour of Dust and Ashes

“Of course. I’ll have to talk to the chief, make plans.” And I desperately needed a few hours of sleep if I was going to be any help at all. “When I do go, I’ll need you to stay here with Emma. I won’t know how long it’ll take. And I don’t want to worry about her …” Rex’s blinding grin made me pause. “What are you smiling for?”

“Nothing.” He looked pleased as punch. “Just … you trust me.”

I blinked. “Well, I thought we’d established that a long time ago. Where have you been the last few months? Look, nothing has changed, Rex, except that Will won’t be coming back. I know what you’re made of. You’ve been with us all this time, from the beginning of all this … craziness. I trust you. I know you love my kid.”

Red rose through the scruffy jaw and up over his cheeks. “Blindsided me, that kid,” he joked. “When did that happen?”

I shrugged, trying to be nonchalant even though I wanted to start crying again. “She’s an easy kid to love.” I released a heavy exhale, chuckling as I did. Making light. Trying to hold it together.

“That’s one thing I haven’t done, you know?” Rex parked his elbow on the back of the couch and rested his head on his hand. “In all my years. In all the bodies I’ve been in …” He stared off into nothing, his mood reflective, his voice quiet. “Didn’t get the chance when I was a jinn eith#822;”

“The chance for what?”

“To be a father.”

Time seemed to stand still in that moment. We didn’t speak. Just stared off into space, unable to look at each other.

I cleared my throat and drew in a stabilizing breath. “I don’t know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I’m not looking to replace Will, not in that way. But I can still be a father figure. A male presence in her life. I’ve done just about everything I’ve ever wanted to and way more than I could’ve imagined. I’m tired. I want to settle down, be part of something, part of a family.” His eyes narrowed. “And you tell anyone I said all this, I’ll go Chuck Norris on your ass so fast, your head will spin.”

I laughed. “Well, you were pretty quick with those chair legs …”

A deep smile brightened his face. Dimples. White teeth. Charming as hell. Just like Will. But never Will again. I sighed.

Get used to it, Charlie.

Rex leaned over and grabbed the afghan from the basket by the side of the couch. “Come on.” He patted his chest and leaned back. “Come to Daddy.”

Oh my God. I shook my head, laughing, crying, and beyond exhausted.

“Rest, Charlie. It’s okay to lean on someone else, you know.” He held out his arm. “Come, come.”

I crawled forward and laid flat on top of him. He let out a suffocated oomph and I hugged him tightly. “Thank you,” I whispered, kissed his cheek, and then rolled off of him and onto my feet. “Good night, Rex.”

“Night, Charlie.”

The next morning, Rex and I sat down at the kitchen table.

And we told Emma everything.

To say it was horrible was a severe understatement.

She just stared at us. Blank. Stunned. Unable to process what we told her. It was the longest moment of my life. I heard every bird chirp, every car pass, every tick of the clock in the living room.

It was as though time was suspended for this one cruel moment.

Emma had such an expressive face. Her big brown eyes were so wide, so round, so glassy. They latched onto me, desperate. So desperate. And I held them with my own, reaching across the table to grab her hand.

She didn’t move. Her eyes said everything. Her face was a progression of disbelief, denial, panic, acceptance, and slow, agonizing grief. I watched each phase, feeling it all with her.

Never having done this before, I experienced a moment of uncertainty—more like panic—but I was trying to be calm and figure out how to comfort her and what to say. But when that first fat tear fell and her face turned red, I went down on my knees in front of her and gathered her into my arms as though she was a toddler, lifted her up, and carried her into the living room. I sat down with her in my lap and held her tightly.

Inside, my heart raced. I fought hard to suppress my emotions, to be there for her, to be strong, and not crack right along with her.

I smoothed her hair, kissed her forehead. My shoulder was already wet with her tears and her cries were loud and keening, like a young child with no inhibitions. The pain that came out of her was raw. I cried so hard that I only saw Rex as a blurry form that sat down beside us. His head rested on the back cushion. He put his hand on her back.

And we stayed like that for what seemed like forever.

I stood on the closed-in front porch, staring out at the soccer field across the street and biting the inside of my cheek. Supper was almost ready and the smells from the kitchen were warm and spicy.

Hank was gone. The chief had confirmed that the sirens passed through the terminal last night before the call went through to stop them. It appeared that Hank had gone willingly. With his badge and law enforcement credentials, he didn’t need a visa or a permit. He could go wherever he wanted. And he did. He was gone. An entire world away, and no doubt in Fiallan.

I kept trying to convince myself that the Circe wouldn’t put him back into the grid, but who was I kidding? To him, it was a punishment worse than death. To the people of Fiallan it was the best way to achieve their lame idea of justice. Tears pricked my eyes.

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

Sorry because I couldn’t leave. Not when my kid was grieving, not when she needed me.

We’d stayed on the couch for hours. Then Emma had slept for several more. Now she was awake and in the shower. During her nap, I’d called to check in with Aaron, the chief, Sian, and then with Marti to see how Amanda was doing. The best bit of news, though, was the fact that Sian had been able to fly in an exorcist from Canada, and he’d already started interviewing the ash victims. No cure as of yet, but living with an addiction was far easier when you did it without a parasite pulling the strings.

The nobles had yet to show up. And during my conversation with the chief earlier, he said he’d notify me as soon as they came through the gate.

If we could convince the nobles that Bryn had gone into Telmath possessed by Solomon—and we had plenty of witnesses here to attest to that—and stuck to the story about Solomon jumping into the noble Carreg had killed, then my sister might actually come out of this okay.

I bit down harder on my cheek, crossing my arms over my chest as I watched a couple of teens tossing a football.

My thoughts turned to the shadow creature. After using Nwyvre in the ballroom, it was very clear the creature only showed up when I used my own power. Nwyvre was never mine. The last time I used my power had been at the portal in Charbydon. Wherever that thing was now, I knew it’d be back. Going into Fiallan to save Hank was going to require everything I had, and I’d be damned if that creature was going to stand in my way.

I bit the inside of my cheek, wondering if there was a way to thwart the creature’s radar. Maybe I’d pay another visit to the Grove to see if Pendaran had learned anything new. I could pick his brain about his time in Gorsedd with Hank and mbe gain some insight into the sirens of Fiallan.

It wouldn’t hurt to remind him to stay alert, too.

Grigori Tennin was not going to give up the search for the First One.

And with Solomon out of the way, Tennin would step up his plans. He’d continue to wage his battle for control over Charbydon. Or Atlanta. God only knew what his true goal was …

22

A week later, I walked into Bryn’s shop in Underground. I needed a break after being on Solomon Street all morning, overseeing the search warrant for Darkling Properties and Rentals—it had finally come through. The search of property records and files was just one more link we were building in our case against