antiseptic, rig up some lights and an operating table, and find some instruments from somewhere. Savvy?'
'Very good, Doctor. We of the fraternity always rises to the occasion, as they say.'
'Well, start rising.'
He hesitated.
'If might be so bold, Doctor…'
'Yes?'
'Perhaps it might make things go a little easier if you and me was to have a bit of the medical comforts to start with.'
I clapped him gratefully on the shoulder. 'Capital idea, Easter. Reach down the bottle from my locker.'
Rumours of my intended surgical assault spread through the ship faster than the news of a landfall. It was not only a pleasurable interruption to the tedium of the voyage but it had the attributes of mystery and originality as well. The crew hadn't had such fun since a boiler blew up off Panama.
I shut myself in my cabin and opened the text-book of surgery I had prudently included in my packing. Turning over the pages to appendicitis, I ran my finger down the print. I started to read the section headed 'operation.'
'The incision is made at McBurney's point,' it said. Oh God! What was McBurney's point? It sounded like a mountain in California.
There was a rap on the jalousie.
'Come in!'
I unlatched the door. It was the Chief Engineer.
'I heard about this wee party you're having, Doc,' he said affably. 'I reckoned you'd be needing some lights so's you can get a good squint at the innards. I can rig up a cargo cluster for you, if you're willing.'
'Thanks very much.'
He gave a grin.
'Of course, you won't mind me turning up to see the fun, Doc, will you? I reckon I ought to be there in case the lights go on the blink. You never can tell with these cargo clusters.'
'That'll be all right, Chief.'
'Thanks, Doc. Give us a shout when you want to stand-by.'
I opened the book again, and had read far enough to learn that the appendix may be in any of six positions when Hornbeam put his head round the door. He laughed loudly.
'Hello, Doc! Making you do a bit of work for a change?'
'That's what I'm here for,' I said casually.
'Reading it all up in the old almanac, I see,' he said genially.
I shut the heavy book with a bang and dropped it behind the bunk.
'One must refresh one's memory,' I said. 'Even Lord Lister had to do that sometimes.'
'What I came down for, Doc,' he went on, 'was to offer you a bit of a hand. I remember seeing one of these done in the war when I was trooping. Thought you might like me to hold the blood-bucket or something.'
I considered.
'All right,' I said. 'I'd be pleased to have someone with common-sense around. You won't faint, will you?'
'What, after all these years at sea? I'll come along later.'
I was still looking for my place in the surgery book when I saw Sparks in the doorway. He brushed aside a couple of imaginary companions and grinned at me.
'Yes?' I asked uninvitingly.
'I hear you're going to carve 'em up, Doc.'
'I am intending to operate, certainly.'
'Wouldn't mind if I watched, would you? I'm a bit of a photographer, and I'd like a few pictures to show the kids.' His grin widened. 'Makes a change from seagulls.'
'I don't think there'll be enough room for me and the patient if you come too.'
'Would you like to send a message to his mother?' he asked.
'No, I would not.'
'Haven't got a spot of gin handy, have you?'
'Not now. Later. I'm very busy.'
'All right, Doc. Have a good time.'
He went off, singing with his friends. But there had now collected outside the door a bunch of deckhands, led by the Bos'n with his cap respectfully in his hands.
'What the hell do you want?' I asked crossly.
'Sorry to disturb you, Doctor, only seeing as we're all pals of Erb's, we was thinking you'd let us come in, see, to 'ave a dekko. 'E says its all right wiv 'im, as long as we behaves decent.'
'Go away,' I said. 'Go away at once. All of you. Who do you think I am? A music-hall turn? I shall report you all to the Mate.'
I slammed the door and returned to the intricacies of appendectomy.
I found Easter in the hospital. He had dismantled the cabin furnishings and was on his knees scrubbing the deck, stripped to the waist.
'How's it going?' I asked.
'It's bloody 'ot.'
'What's the temperature?'
He got up and inspected the thermometer in the corner.
'Hundred and six,' he said.
'Can't you put the forced draught on?'
'Blows soot in.'
'Oh, all right. We'll have to put up with it I suppose. How have you got on with the operating table?'
He had a wooden trestle table along one bulkhead which he set up proudly. It left just enough room on either side for the pair of us.
'I got it off Chippy,' he said. 'He uses it for mixing the paints on.'
'It's better than nothing. If you scrub it hard enough it'll be reasonably sterile.'
As I spoke, two large, rusty drops fell from a pipe crossing the deckhead on the spot where the operation wound would be.
'Damnation! Can't you do anything to stop that?'
Easter shook his head.
'Been like it for years. It's a job for the shore engineers, that is.'
'Well, you'll have to fix up some sort of screen. Have we got any dressings and gloves, and so forth?'
'There was some in the locker. Seem to have been there since the war.'
'Get them sterilized in the galley. How about instruments? What have you found?'
Easter pulled two handfuls of metal objects from his trouser pockets.
'I've been on the scrounge,' he explained. 'I thought these would come in handy, like.'
I looked at his booty, which he spread on the table. There was a pair of pliers, two saloon forks, a packet of darning needles labelled 'A Sailor's Friend,' some paper-clips, a stiletto, a potato knife, a pair of tweezers, a surgical scalpel, and a uterine curette.
'You'd better sterilize the lot,' I said gloomily. 'Except the pliers. Shouldn't there be a set of surgical instruments on board?'
'They seem to have disappeared, Doctor.'
'You mean you flogged them?' He scratched his nose guiltily. 'There's nothing for it but to use what we've got,' I told him crossly. 'I damn well hope you get an appendix, too!'
I went out on deck. I needed some fresh air. The day was already becoming too much for me.
Outside the hospital I found Chippy. He was sitting on the deck with a hatch cover-a thick piece of wood about six feet by two used in rows to cover the hatches. He was polishing it carefully with emery paper.
'Hello, Chips,' I said. 'Getting everything shipshape for Santos?'
