they didn't detach. I've always wondered if I would see a ghost sometime. I've always been a little disappointed that I haven't, in a way. Oh my God, Tolliver. He saved me from falling right into that grave on top of the corpse. The first time I see a ghost, and he saved me.'
'Were you scared?'
'Not that he would hurt me. But I was afraid because it was spooky and I didn't know what to do for him. I don't know why he can't or won't go on, I don't know how he experiences time, I don't know his purpose. And now all his people are gone, I guess. No one could visit him or…' I shut up, afraid of sounding maudlin.
They all want to be found, you know. That's all they want. Not vengeance, or forgiveness. They want to be found. At least, that's what I'd always thought.
But Josiah Poundstone—I was sure he was the ghost—had been firmly located since the moment of his death. Someone had erected the 'Beloved Brother' headstone. And someone had murdered him, if that was part of his awareness. When I'd stood on his grave in the daylight, I'd felt only the faintest flutter from him, so overwhelmed had I been with the thrumming from the most recent corpse. I'd assumed Josiah Poundstone was gone for good. Apparently, I'd been wrong.
nine
WE made our way back to the car, taking our time. I had to hold on to Tolliver here and there, and I don't think he was sorry to hold onto me. We dusted dirt off my jacket, and stomped our feet to remove bits of soil.
'If there were an emergency room for psychological shocks, we could go there,' he said, unlocking the car.
'I've never left a body unreported,' I said, remembering how proud I'd been of that fact only a day before. 'Never.' I shuddered. 'I wish I could put my brain in a warm bath of something scented,' I said. 'And give my nervous system some aromatherapy.'
'That mental picture is just disgusting,' Tolliver said.
He was right, but that didn't stop me from wanting some way to soothe my emotional self. I took a deep breath and tried to put the frivolous thoughts on the back burner.
We still had decisions to make, and they wouldn't be easy ones.
'Did you get anything from the… did you get anything?' Tolliver asked.
'Yeah,' I said. 'Yeah, Dr. Nunley was really taken by surprise. I don't know why he was out there, but he never expected the person with him had any evil intent.'
'Do ordinary people expect to be attacked, ever?' Tolliver asked reasonably.
I gave him a disgusted look. 'No, they don't, smart aleck, and that's not what I meant. What I mean is—he wasn't with a stranger. He was with someone he knew, and he had no idea that the other guy wished him ill.'
'You just using 'guy' for the ease of it?'
'Right.'
'We can't tell the police.'
'Sure we can, but they won't believe us. I don't know what else we can do. And I absolutely don't think we should tell them we were at the grave site again.'
We argued back and forth all the way to the hotel—and with time out for discretion in front of the staff, resumed our argument when we were alone in the elevator.
When we stepped out, we were struck speechless to see Agent Seth Koenig waiting outside our room.
If the management had cast glances at us on our way through the lobby, we'd been too engrossed in our own problems to pick up on it. Certainly not a psychic, I thought ruefully. /// ever claim to be one, strike me dead. We were completely taken by surprise. As one, we stopped in our tracks and stared at him.
We weren't alone in the staring department. He was laying one on us.
'What have you two been up to?' he asked.
'I don't believe we need to talk to you,' Tolliver said. 'My sister tells me you're an FBI agent, and we don't know anything of interest to you.'
'Where have you been?' Koenig asked, as though we would be compelled to tell him.
'We went to the movies,' I said.
'Just now,' he said. 'Where were you just now?'
Tolliver took my hand and led me past the agent, who was surely persistent.
I repeated what Tolliver had said. 'We don't have to talk to you.'
'If it was anything to do with Tabitha Morgenstern, I need to know it.' His voice was rough and hard.
'Fuck off,' I said. Tolliver gave me a startled look. That's not my usual style. But I wanted to get away from this guy. Tolliver got the door unlocked and whisked me inside at top speed. We slammed the door behind us.
'He's obsessed with his failure,' I said, as I began to shed all my outerwear. I noticed my shoes were stained with dirt from the cemetery, despite my efforts. I reminded myself that I had to clean them later. At the moment, I couldn't summon the energy. I felt awful: exhausted, weak, upset. 'I have to shower and go to bed. I'm sorry I'm not more help.'
'Don't say that,' Tolliver said. He hated it when I apologized.
I often thought, and sometimes said, that Tolliver would be better off if he hadn't undertaken the role of my backbone. But when I tried to imagine myself going on the road alone, I felt a huge hole in my middle that refused to fill with anything. I tried to keep myself fit and did everything I could to ensure my health, but the fact remained
