will show up. And the
'Otherwise his secret would be out.' The man chuckled.
'Secret?' Caryl muttered, staring at the glass.
The man: 'People would find out what he's doing.'
The second woman: 'He would be destroyed.'
The first woman: 'Now we come to all of his lovers —»
'His
'And try to warn them, stop them before it's too late,' the first woman continued.
The second woman whispered sadly, 'But it's always too late.'
'What're you — ' Caryl breathed, her gut swelling with a sick fear.
'Sshhh,' the first woman hissed reassuringly, patting her shoulder. 'You can stop him.'
'Get into that room,' the man said.
'The room upstairs. Get into that room and stop him.'
'And whatever you do,' the first woman whispered ominously, 'don't let him touch you again.'
'At least,' the man added, 'not without a condom.'
Her fear began to melt away and was replaced with the same anger she'd felt toward the black woman earlier. With teeth clenched, she spun around to shout at them, tell them to go away,
That night, Caryl pretended to be asleep when Hawk got home, hoping he wouldn't try to wake her so they could fool around. He didn't. Instead, he paced the room and mumbled, as he'd done before. She could hear liquid sloshing in a bottle and, after a moment, caught the stinging odor of whiskey. He chuckled, mumbled some more, then opened the dresser drawer again. She heard the same jingle she'd heard before and he left the room.
Caryl threw the covers back, slipped into her robe and peered out the door cautiously. At the end of the hall, Hawk was just rounding the corner, still mumbling; she heard his feet clump up the stairs as she hurried down to the corner. As soon as she heard him walking down the third-floor hallway, she glanced around to make sure no one was nearby and started up the stairs silently. As she reached the top step, she heard the door at the end of the hall close with a muted click, followed by the sounds of two locks being turned in succession.
Walking on the balls of her bare feet, Caryl went to the end of the hall, where the light was dim, and approached the door carefully. The soft orange glow still flickered through the narrow crack beneath the door, then disappeared… flickered some more, then disappeared…
Hawk was pacing inside. She heard his voice, soft and indecipherable but frantic, breaking occasionally into a soft, breathy laugh, then falling back into sibilant mutterings. Caryl flinched when she heard a loud thump, as if Hawk had fallen heavily to his knees, and his voice rose, but only slightly. She leaned closer to the door, until her ear was almost touching the wood, but could only pick out snatches of what he was saying.
'… am thankful once again… fair and just and… be transferred to my image on this… for you in return…'
Caryl's brow wrinkled so hard that it hurt, and she realized her white-knuckled fists were pressed together between her breasts. She wasn't sure of what she'd just heard and thought she might have misunderstood his words altogether, but for some reason it sent an icy blade of fear into her gut and twisted it.
Keys jingled.
Footsteps approached the door.
Caryl thought her heart would stop as she turned and ran down the hallway as quickly and quietly as she could, and her feet tangled together for an instant as she turned to rush down the stairs, and when she reached the bedroom, she couldn't get the doorknob to turn at first because of the cold, clammy sweat that coated her palms, and when the door finally opened, she fought the urge to slam it behind her and tore a seam in her robe as she ripped it off her body and tossed it aside and threw herself onto the bed, pulled up the covers and turned on her side as —
— the bedroom door opened again and Hawk came inside.
Caryl closed her eyes and tried to breathe normally, tried not to let her chest heave, tried to calm herself so he wouldn't be able to hear the drumming of her heart.
The drawer was pulled open again, the keys dropped inside, and she could tell he was moving unsteadily, drunkenly, as he undressed. A match was lit, Hawk inhaled deeply and the cloying smell of marijuana filled the room. The bottle sloshed again: another drink. And then a throaty chuckle, as he walked to her side of the bed.
He touched her shoulder, shook her gently, then a little harder. He pulled back the covers and got on the bed, straddling her and rubbing his erection on her thigh as he took another drag on the joint.
She didn't stir, tried not to move a muscle, kept her eyes closed.
— Hawk slurred, 'C'mon, babe, dincha get my note?' He shook her some more, a little too hard this time, and she knew he'd never believe it if she didn't wake up.
She rolled her head slowly toward him, mumbling.
He cupped one breast and squeezed it too hard, then reached down and tried to wriggle his fingers between her closed legs.
'Time t'plaaay,' he gurgled through a broad grin. He leaned toward the nightstand, put the joint in an ashtray, picked up his bottle of whiskey and finished it off, then tossed it to the floor, getting off her. He pulled her toward him and said, 'Sixty-nine.'
Trying hard to feign waking up, she muttered, 'Huh? What?'
'C'mon, babe, sit on my face while you suck my cock. S'all nice'n hard for ya.'
Her mind raced and her stomach turned. 'Oh… oh, honey, I can't.'
'What?' He squinted at her, annoyed. 'H'come?'
'Oh, honey, I've been sick all evening. Didn't Barnes tell you?'
'Sick? No, he didn't. Wha's matter?'
'Flu, I think. My… stomach.' She wasn't lying. Her guts were moving and she felt like vomiting. But it wasn't the flu, it was fear. 'In fact…' She sat up slowly. 'Well, I don't think I should… oh, no.' Caryl slid off the bed, hurried into the bathroom and leaned over the toilet, emptying herself loudly.
'Sheee-yit,' Hawk groaned from the bed.
When she was finished heaving, she remained on her knees, trembling and weak, and whimpered, 'I'm suh- sorry. Muh-maybe I shuh-should sleep in, you know, another room, so… so you won't cuh-catch this. Huh? You think?' She stood on wobbly knees, leaning on the edge of the sink, and flushed the toilet. After rinsing her mouth she said, 'You think so, Hawk? Hawk?'
When she came back into the bedroom, she found him sprawled over the bed, mouth yawning open, snoring.
'Hawk?' she said loudly, then, even louder, 'You awake, Hawk?'
He didn't move.
Caryl stared at the bottom drawer of the enormous dresser, then again at Hawk. She didn't know if she could take the stress, the pressure —
But she had to try. With her robe back on, she crept to the dresser and pulled the bottom drawer out slowly, cautiously. It was full of underwear and socks, a couple of dirty old marijuana pipes, a dildo that looked like a real penis only
And there they were, two keys on one little ring nestled in a pair of undershorts in the back corner of the drawer. To keep them from jingling, she wrapped the undershorts around them, put them in the pocket of her robe and closed the drawer silently. Then she left the room.
Afraid of being caught, Caryl instinctively wanted to hurry; terrified of being heard, she was afraid to move too quickly. As a compromise, she went upstairs and started down the hall. It seemed much longer this time and