Queen of the Dead

right?

Or, I could try. Lily’s body would protect me from the boxes. That’s why they’d had to use the disruptor in the first place. But to voluntarily return to her dying body, knowing I’d be stuck? I felt sick at just the idea. That would make me what Will had accused me of being, a body snatcher, and not even of a body I wanted. I couldn’t be Lily Turner.

But if flannel guy was right about Lily and me being dependent on each other, she might survive with my help. She might live because of me. There had to be a reason I’d been sent back from the light, right? Maybe this was it. Maybe we could save each other. And if we lived through this, there might be another chance for us. An opportunity for Lily to keep living and me to be me again, right? But if I didn’t take this chance now, we were both done for. And I couldn’t just let her die, not when I’d caused this to happen and might be able to stop it.…

In my mind, I saw Mrs. Turner’s tear-stained face before me again, the moment she realized her daughter was awake.I knew you would come back. I knew there was a reason to keep hoping.

I turned my head and met Will’s gaze. Eyes wide, he shook his head at me as though he could hear what I was thinking.

I’m sorry. Then I wrenched myself backward toward Lily, praying Mrs. Turner had been right.

17 Will

“No!” I shouted. But Alona was gone.

The boxes remained open and glowing, though, and none of the others in the closet seemed sure where to look. But I knew. I knew Alona. Self-preservation was never very far down on that girl’s list.

I stared down at Lily. She appeared no different, still struggling to breathe and so pale she might as well have been translucent. But I was almost positive that’s where Alona had gone. She’d taken Lily to use for her own purposes again, and this time, it might kill Lily.

Damn it.

But oddly enough, that last look she’d given me had not been one of triumph. Not at all. She’d seemed sad, desperate maybe, and…resigned, if I had to describe it.

“Did it fade out?” Mina asked.

John stepped forward around both of us to unplug the main box cord from the wall. “It’s possible. But there’s only one way to know for sure. We’ll wait.” He nodded at Lily. “The girl is dying anyway.”

I froze. “What?”

“The entity was in place for so long, she won’t survive without it,” he said. “But even if the entity managed to repossess her, it’s severely depleted. Removing it won’t be an issue, especially once the girl dies.”

Thoughts whirled around in my head, making it difficult for me to catch hold of one.

Lily was dying? Had Alona known that? Had she figured out that Lily would not survive without her? That would have explained the expression on her face right before she disappeared.

Had Alona just attempted to save Lily’s life?

The very idea stirred up more thoughts I couldn’t quitepin down.

Granted, trying to save Lily by reclaiming her would have benefits for Alona, too, like not being boxed, but she had to have known that being permanently stuck in Lily was a possibility. And yet she’d tried anyway.

“We should relocate. Someone may have heard the ruckus.” John reached for the handles of Lily’s wheelchair.

I moved to block him. “No.”

He looked at me, startled.

“You say you’re concerned about the living, but the dead were the living once. You don’t get to ignore that just because it’s more convenient for your philosophy and helps you sleep better at night,” I said.

John blanched.

“Yeah, listen to the new recruit,” Mina said softly. “The one you’re all fighting over.”

I ignored her. “If the spirit even survived, if Alona survived,” I deliberately used her name, watching John’s eyebrows shoot skyward, “I’m sure as hell not going to just sit here and watch Lily die so you can get to Alona that much faster.” I reached down and carefully peeled the gag away from her mouth. Lily’s mouth was red and raw on the edges from where Alona had been screaming.

“A Killian rides to the rescue again. All the poor dead people who need your help.” A weary bitterness settled across John’s face. “It’s supposed to be about the greater good, Will. Your father never understood that, either.”

“He did,” I snapped. “His definition of good was just a little broader than yours, I think.”

I grabbed Lily’s wheelchair and started to pull it away, pausing only to open the door behind me.

“She’s possessed,” John spat at me.

“You don’t know that.”

“It’s an abomination,” he continued.

“And you don’t get to decide that.” The light had sent Alona back, and if one held with the belief that the light was representative of some all-knowing, all-powerful force, then the light had been aware of this outcome all along and done nothing to stop it. In fact, by sending her back, it might have very well created the events leading to this moment. I didn’t know, and I couldn’t judge. And I wouldn’t allow John and the Order to judge, either.

“You’ll be calling us, begging for help before you know it,” he said with disgust.

Maybe, but at least I’d know the price for their help next time, and it was far too high.

“Don’t.” Mina stepped forward, her hand closing around my wrist tightly. “If she’s still possessed, I need this, Will.” Her eyes pleaded with me, showing her desperation more plainly than words ever could.

“You are never going to be good enough,” I said to her, andshe flinched. “No one is ever good enough for him because he doesn’t feel good enough himself, always comparing you to other people, just like he compared himself to my dad.”

John made a disgusted noise. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I didn’t, not for sure, but based on what Mina had said and his reaction to my words just now, I felt it was a fairly good guess. “So you have to be who you are, whoever that is,” I said to Mina. “Call Lucy and tell her the truth.”

She jerked back, her gaze skating immediately to her father for his reaction. It wasn’t good. His face reddened, and he glared at her, before turning his attention to me.

“If you’re implying that anything in my division is not running as it should—” he blustered.

“Not your division, your family. And you know it’s not,” I said. “Call Lucy,” I said to Mina again.

This time, she nodded, a tiny motion, almost imperceptible, but still there.

I pulled Lily’s chair out into the hall. To my surprise, the priest followed us. I watched him warily as I turned the chair around and aimed it for the elevators, but he made no attempt to stop me.

“I was trying to save the girl,” he said quietly.

“I know, Father.” Me, too. Both of them.

“I didn’t know that they would hurt her and—”

The wheelchair jerked in my hands.

I looked down. Lily’s whole body was shaking so hard the chair rattled, and her face had turned an ominous shade of blue.

Fear froze me in place. Whatever Alona had done, it was not enough. Lily was dying, and now she would take Alona with her. I would lose both of them.

“Help, someone! We need help!” The priest took offdown the hall shouting.

I followed, one hand on Lily’s slumped shoulder andthe other on the chair, moving as fast as I dared. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” I just kept repeating the words, praying I wouldn’t hear a final gasp from her. I’d grown used to the idea of life without Lily. But Alona? What would I do without her? No matter how much she drove me