76
I don’t hold
77
With her pants on. (Blouse optional.)
78
Kara and I have had many a liquid lunch discussing this fact.
79
Particularly Speidi, although who doesn’t hate them just a little?
80
Almost.
81
Note to self — stop reading the paper online.
82
I’ll take three boxes of Samoas and two Thin Mints, please.
83
Bred like rabbits, those people.
84
I see a long, soft sit in my future.
85
Read: shout him stupid.
86
Estimated installation time on the package? Two hours. Actual installation time? Six days.
87
That’s what she said. (Sorry. Couldn’t resist.)
88
Not necessarily in that order.
89
She found their whites to be too “dirt filthy.”
90
Babcia claimed, “God tell give Babcia. You no like? You tell God; I send you see Him.”
91
I might be phrasing this wrong, but my point is, should neighbors really have a say over what kind of mailbox I choose?
92
93
Yes,Ann Marie was right about the “five-pound bag of flour” business, damn it.
94
Oh,
95
I can’t quite tell.
96
Alaknanda, which means “flawless.”
97
Pun not intended this time.
98
With enough maraschino cherries in it, it’s not bad.
99
Sounds crazy, but that’s how publishing works sometimes.
100
Miriam’s a sucker for durable and decorative cement countertops, but Rebecca’s more of a traditionalist in that she prefers granite with an onyx tile backsplash.
101
Fortunately it was still in its case when the toilet hobbled my desk.
102
Fictional Jake Ryan family, what were you thinking when you installed mauve shag?
103
Remind me to tell you about the Great 2007 Residence Inn by Marriott Free Breakfast Bar Massacre sometime.
104
A Polish version of Crazy Eights.
105
Hard to picture, but trust me, it’s FAB.
106
His expression, not mine.
107
Very cautiously. Oh, so cautiously.
108
You should have seen the look on Ann Marie’s face when she spotted that.
109
After the past two weeks of sanding and staining purgatory, trust me when I say I’d make sure something very bad happened to him.
110
Multiple density fiberboard.
111
Yes, a tetanus shot was in order.
112
And an oyster containing two tickets to that thing I love.
113
The guide told me to.
114
Oh, yeah, baby. Now you’re talking my language.
115
I learned a long time ago it’s best just to eliminate any potential temptations.
116
A sport he normally calls “an excuse for morons to wear ugly pants.”
117
Even though it’s almost impossible to tell.
118
“Not Polish!”
119
And by “we” I mean the management of the Shops at Sunset Place.
120
Oh, so many checks.
121
I never knew there was a younger, even scarier version of Ann Marie until I met her assistant.
122
I didn’t let him pay her, of course, although I suspect she may be the reason his three-hundred-dollar Allen Edmonds loafers went missing on that trip. Poor guy had to head to Christmas dinner in a sport coat and a pair of
