“I’d carry it in my greedy little paws.”
“I’m sure you would try Topper. But each bar of gold weighs 27 pounds. Which makes moving gold a slow proposition. Especially when you consider that the vault is constructed in such a way that it is very time consuming to get gold in or out. It requires, at this point, rather a lot of people. And as you pointed out, the more people, the more problem.”
“But if you had a guy with superpowers. A really strong guy.”
Edwin looks directly into Topper’s greedy little soul, “That thought never leaves my mind. For a client of mine to gain control of 40% of the world’s gold—”
“A CLIENT! Edwin, when are you going to start thinking about yourself? Lookin’ after #1 like any good, red- blooded American should.”
“Topper, I am not a criminal.”
“You’re a friggin’ mastermind, that’s what you are. All those facts crammed in that pointy head of yours.”
Edwin sighs. This conversation is pointless. “Just accept that I do not break the law. I don’t break the social contract. I do not break contracts of any kind. It’s bad for business. But I advise those who choose to do so.”
“You are a very, very strange man.”
“Perhaps. But please, help me with this small thing. Help me with Barry. And we’ll work up to currency manipulation eventually.”
“Can we steal gold? Can we?”
“When the right set of powers come along, I will advise someone to steal the gold.”
“Okay then. I’ll help you,” Topper downs the rest of his drink. “Now I got to go see a man about blowing up a building.” Topper waddles out the door, sticking Edwin with the check.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Reasoning with Barry
Topper sets up a meeting for Edwin with R. Earl Lemahi. He is a half-Texan, half-Pakistani real estate magnate who has developed a number of sites around the city. But none bigger or more impressive than the Spackster project.
The Spackster building is one of the city’s original skyscrapers. Only 20 stories tall, in its day it had been a marvel of engineering, but now its glory has faded. It’s just another pile of dirty bricks with a cleverly disguised water tower on the roof.
Lemahi has surrounded the Spackster building on three sides with featureless boxes of expensive per- square-foot office space. These buildings are state of the art, and remarkable only in their soullessness. Edwin meets with Lemahi at the top of one of his prized buildings.
“Windsor,” Lemahi says as he gestures towards the Spackster building, “I need this old pile of bricks building taken down carefully and well. But I ain’t never heard of you. Which makes me a mite nervous.”
“And the fact that I’m offering to demolish the building for half the cost of anyone else? What does that do to your nerves?” Edwin says, cool as can be. It’s not like this is his first negotiation.
“Makes them a damn sight steadier. I just wanted to come down here and look in your eye boy. Make sure you were a serious man.”
Edwin meets his gaze without flinching. These silly “men-of-business” games mean nothing to him. “And now that you have looked in my eyes?”
“Oh you’re serious a’right. But I don’t see no bond. And if you ain’t bonded, you ain’t doing this job.” R Earl leans back in his chair, pleased to think that he has put this smug bastard back on his heels.
Edwin’s expression does not change. Edwin opens his briefcase and removes some documents. “You are right, I do not have a bond. My affairs are such that I am loathe to explain them to insurance inspectors. But I have placed $55 million in escrow. Far more than the decrepit Spackster building is worth. I hope you will agree that it is more than enough for you to indemnify yourself for any demolition related accidents.”
R Earl’s eyes widen. He’s obviously impressed with a man who can conjure up $55 million. “Yeah,” says the gruff old man, biting off the word as if it was something he didn’t want to swallow. “Now just don’t screw it up. I’ve got a lot riding on this.” The old man turns his back on Edwin, indicating that the meeting is over and that Edwin is dismissed. This annoys Edwin, but he leaves quietly.
Barry is in the high, bright room once again. Outside he can hear the wind blow. Inside he can feel the building move. He doesn’t like tall places. He’s clumsy and he falls down a lot. Right now he really is trying to pay attention to the words the Tall One is using, but it’s hard. All those sounds. And what do they mean?
“So you see,” Edwin says, speaking very slowly, “my associate will guide you on this new, and potentially, very lucrative path.”
All Barry hears is “Bl you bla, my, blahblahb blah blahb you bl blah new, and blahblahbla, blah blahblahb blah.” Barry squirms and blinks non-comprehension as if it is morse code.
The small one walks up to him. He smells funny. Like Dad. Barry doesn’t know that Topper has steadied his nerves with quite a lot of scotch before this meeting. Not that Topper is worried, but any excuse to steady the nerves, you understand. “You didn’t understand a word of that did you?” asks Topper. Barry doesn’t get anything out of that sentence either, but he nods and smiles. The little one is smiling at him. Barry thinks it’s funny.
“Yeah,” Topper says to Edwin, “you got yourself a regular old rocket scientist here.” Barry coughs again. Topper brings him a glass of water.
“Oh, I think I’ve gotten through to him,” says Edwin. He hands Barry a picture of the Spackster building. Then he holds up a duplicate picture. He waits until Barry is looking at the picture he’s holding. Then he tears it in half very slowly. He says “demolish.”
Barry drinks his glass of water and then crushes the glass.
Topper laughs. “Oh yeah, you got a real rapport going there.” Topper laughs some more. His shrill notes put Edwin on edge. “Oh ho ho, big boy, you’ve got no clue do you?” Barry smiles and laughs along with Topper.
“I don’t know about that,” says Edwin.
Still chuckling, Topper winks at Edwin as he hands Barry a phone book. Topper takes a piece of the photo Edwin has torn in half and tears it again. Barry tears the phone book in half. Topper squeals with delight. “Oh, you are a strong boy!” As Barry nods Topper shoves a piece of candy in his open mouth. “Good boy.”
Barry blinks twice and closes his mouth. He almost becomes angry, but when the sweet taste fills his mouth, he is happy.
“That doesn’t mean he understood you,” says Edwin
“What, you want me to get him to cut you a deck of cards?” says Topper.
Edwin shakes his head.
“So we can try it my way?”
Topper opens a cabinet and produces two identical cardboard models of the Spackster Building. “Bar-REE,” Topper says with a sharply rising tone. At the high-pitched word, Barry perks up like a dog. Topper sets one of the models on the table in front of Barry. He places the other model on the floor in front of him.
Topper takes two steps backwards. He claps his hands together dramatically then he jumps into the air and screams “GENTRIFICATION!” When he lands, he slams both feet down on the cardboard model.
Barry giggles hysterically and brings his hand down on the other model, palm open. Not only is the model flattened, but the table beneath it splinters violently and cracks in half. Topper runs over to Barry’s large, misshapen head and kisses it. “I love this boy!” Barry giggles some more.
Topper turns to Edwin, “I say we’re ready.” Topper scratches Barry behind the ear. “Good boy. Good boy.”
Watching them, Edwin experiences a moment of doubt. But he dismisses it. After all, Barry is supposed to destroy a building. What is the worst that could happen? The building would remain standing? It wasn’t like he
