Her Daughter’s Dream

35

Jason didn’t call. She didn’t see him until Monday morning at school. He’d gone back to the Archers’ and apologized to everyone. When he and his mother got home, she exploded. Yes, he was grounded. For two weeks. No telephone privileges, no going anywhere with friends. Friends, Dawn knew, meant her.

Every morning when Dawn got off the bus, Jason stood waiting for her. They hung out under the maple trees along Prince Avenue before going to their lockers and on to class. They met as often as their schedules allowed. They sat alone together on the field during lunch hour, rather than eat with their friends. He never kissed her, but sometimes he held her hand when they walked around campus.

Dawn still attended youth group with Sharon on Wednesday evenings, but she barely paid attention to what Pastor Daniel had to say. She came to be with her friends, not listen to him lecture. Kim and Tom sat together, but didn’t touch, and Kim still rode home with her father after the meetings while the rest of the kids, including Tom, met up at Taco Bell or McDonald’s to talk for another hour or two. “Does Pastor Daniel know you and Kim are going out yet?” Steven Dial asked, stirring up trouble.

“Yeah, he knows.” Tom shrugged. “He was pretty cool about it.”

“Cool? How so?”

“He invited me to a baseball game. We spent most of the time talking.”

Steven laughed. “You mean he talked.”

“Not all the time. He asked me if I loved Kim. I said I did. He told me love between a man and woman can be a beautiful thing, but it’s fragile, too. It only takes one mistake to turn life into a tangled mess.” Everyone knew what he meant, though few believed him.

Two weeks felt like two years, but finally Jason’s mother paroled him. Jason called Dawn that night. He called on breaks at work. He called when he got home, when he finished his homework. They often talked until after midnight. She worried about him. He seemed so tired all the time. She’d tell him not to call, to go to bed; she’d see him at school first thing in the morning. He said he liked hearing the sound of her voice just before he went to sleep, although sometimes they talked about things that kept them both awake long into the night.

Christmas break approached, and Dawn went shopping with Sharon, Amy, and Kim. Kim bought Tom a Bible and a silver chain and a cross made of nails. Dawn bought a gold identity bracelet with Forever engraved on it for Jason.

The day school let out for winter break, Jason drove her out on Dry Creek Road and parked in the empty visitors’ center lot at the base of Warm Springs Dam. The skies opened up, rain pounding the roof of his Honda and sheets of water pouring over the windshield. He kept the car running and the heater on, though it wasn’t necessary. The knowledge they were alone and the desire swimming in their bellies kept them warm. Eager to see if he liked his gift, she insisted he open hers first. As soon as he opened it, she took it from the box and attached it around his wrist. “So everyone will know you’re mine.”

Jason gave her a small white box tied with a red ribbon. He seemed nervous. “I hope you like it.” She told him she’d love anything he gave her, but drew in a soft breath of pleasure when she saw a delicate gold bracelet coiled on the cotton. She touched the small heart and glistening white pearl. She asked him to put it on her wrist. As he did, she kept her gaze fixed upon his face. “I love it, Jason. I’ll never take it off.” When he raised his head, she leaned toward him, lips parted.

The windows steamed up. The rain pounded harder and faster, as though trying to keep pace with their hearts. Murmuring his name, she clutched his shirt. He pressed her back against the seat. She wanted him closer. Pushing his jacket open, she slipped one hand beneath his sweater. She felt the smooth skin of his back, the hard muscle from lifting boxes of canned goods. His hand went under her thigh, gripping, sliding her down on the seat. She gave a soft cry as her head bumped hard against the armrest. Jason pulled back abruptly. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.” Her voice came out raspy. She rubbed her head as he pulled her back up.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” When she leaned toward him again, he drew back.

“We’ve got to stop.” He shifted over and shut his eyes tightly, then opened them again, face taut. “We’d better go.”

“We were only kissing, Jason. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?”

“No, but I wanted more.”

Swallowing hard, pulse pounding, she looked straight into his eyes. “I wouldn’t have stopped you.”

“That’s why we have to leave.” He released the emergency brake and put the car into reverse.

She pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes and gulped a sob.

Jason stopped, rammed on the emergency brake, and put his arms around her. “Don’t cry. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have brought you out here. It’s my fault things got out of hand.” He tipped her chin and kissed her softly. “I’m sorry, Dawn. I won’t let it happen again.”

She believed him, which only hurt and frustrated her more. “You’re good all the time, Jason. All the time you’re good. And all I want is you.”

Jason touched her arm gently. “It isn’t what God wants for us, Dawn.”

God again. “Sometimes you talk as though He’s in the backseat.”

“He’s closer than that. He’s inside us.”

Us. Maybe that was the real problem. The Holy Spirit did live inside Jason. She had no doubt about that.

But she wondered… what about her?

* * *

Granny called, trying to wear Mom down about having the family Christmas dinner at Jenner by the Sea. Failing, Granny called Mitch at his office. Dawn arrived in time to overhear the end of the conversation. “I’ll talk to her, Hildie. Sure, I understand, but…” He rubbed his forehead. Dawn slipped into the chair in front of his desk, mouthed no, and shook her head. “What’s wrong with Trip? If it’s serious, Carolyn is going to insist you two come in.” He gave Dawn a pained look. Dawn leaned forward. Mitch shook his head and mouthed, He’s okay. She put her head back against the red leather wing chair. Just Granny applying the emotional screws again. “Let me talk to her. If she agrees, she’ll call you. Okay? That’s the most I can promise. I love you, too.”

Hanging up, Mitch gave her a wry grin. “And how was your day?”

“Are we going to Jenner for Christmas?”

“You heard what I said. Maybe. We’ll see. It’s up to your mother.”

“Then we’ll be going. I’m surprised she’s held out this long.”

“You don’t look pleased about it.”

“What’s wrong with Papa?”

“He doesn’t feel up to driving in and spending a few days in Alexander Valley. He wants to stay home.”

Dawn went into her bedroom and dumped her backpack. Flinging herself onto her bed, she stared at the ceiling. Jason had hoped to take her out over break, but it all depended on his work schedule and what plans his mother made.

Mitch had probably told Mom about Granny’s call by now. She decided to go to the kitchen, hoping to encourage her mother to hold her ground and insist Granny and Papa come in this year.

“Well, at least, let me bring something…” Mom was on the phone, perched on a kitchen table, knees together, feet up like a little girl.

So much for that idea. Dawn returned to her room and threw herself across the bed again.

Mom announced at dinner that they’d be going to Jenner by the Sea for Christmas Eve dinner. “She wants to serve dinner at six instead of four.”

“Then we’ll stay over,” Mitch decided. “It’ll be after ten before we finish unwrapping presents. No point in driving back in the dark on a windy road with the weather such as it is.”

“With the weather such as it is, they should come in,” Dawn said. “You know how Jenner gets this time of year.