Her Daughter’s Dream

Dawn said she’d take turns with Sharon driving to youth group, but she wanted to continue riding the bus to school. That way, she’d save money for the next insurance premium as well as gas.

“And Jason will still give you a ride to work.” Mitch gave her a smirk that said she wasn’t fooling anyone. She conceded that was part of her reasoning.

The first Saturday after she gained driving privileges, she drove to the Windsor Trailer Park. The double-wide looked old, but well-tended, with potted flowers on a small deck with green- and white-striped awning and a pebble driveway, where Jason’s Honda was parked. Jason, dressed in sweatpants and a sleeveless T-shirt, opened the door before she even knocked. He came out barefoot and admired her car. An elderly lady opened her screen door just across the way. “A friend of yours, Jason?”

“Study partner,” he called back. “How are you doing this morning, Mrs. Edwards?”

“Can’t complain.” She sat in a rocker on her little porch.

Jason opened the front door, and Dawn entered a carpeted living room with a worn green plaid couch, two matching chairs, and a coffee table facing a small television on an old cabinet. Beige drapes and sheers let a shaft of light through the front window.

“It must feel claustrophobic to you,” Jason said grimly.

“It’s cozy. Comfortable.”

A small Early American table with two chairs was cluttered with books, an open binder, and papers. “You’re studying.”

“Every spare minute.” He drew her into his arms. “I needed a break.” He kissed her. One gentle, tentative kiss led to another and another.

Breathless, she began to worry. “Where’s your mom?”

“Working. Until noon.”

“Maybe I should go.” When he didn’t let go, she wondered if she had said the words aloud or just thought them. He asked if she wanted to see his room. Of course, she did. Things quickly got out of hand, not that either tried to stop, not until someone rapped on the door. Jason pulled away and got off the bed. “It’s probably Mrs. Edwards.” Another rap sounded, louder this time. “If I don’t answer, she’s going to think something’s going on.”

Think something is going on? Dawn wanted to laugh hysterically. “Wait!” She ducked into the bathroom and leaned against the door. Adjusting her clothing, she raked fingers through her hair. She could hear Mrs. Edwards.

“I don’t think your mother would want a girl here when she’s not.”

Jason said they were just talking. “Then where is she? I don’t see her sitting on the sofa.”

Dawn flushed the toilet and ran the water noisily before stepping out of the bathroom. She pretended surprise. “Oh, hi.” Mrs. Edwards muttered something to Jason and went down the steps. “What’d she say?”

He gave a brief laugh. “She told me I’d better behave myself.”

Blushing, Dawn shrugged her purse onto her shoulder. Neither one of them had been doing a good job of that lately. “I’d better go.”

Jason walked her to her car. He said he wished she wouldn’t go. They stood and talked awhile. Mrs. Edwards sat in her rocker watching them. Jason asked if Dawn was planning to go on the mission trip to Mexico. She said she was and had already gotten the financial backing she needed from Mom and Mitch and her grandparents. “Plus I’m putting in some of my own money,” she added, proud of herself. “What about you?” He said he wasn’t sure yet, but he hoped so. Before Dawn got into her car, she waved at Mrs. Edwards and said it was nice meeting her.

The following Saturday, Dawn brought her backpack full of books, and they did study, for a little while. She left an hour before Georgia Steward was due home. The Saturday after that, they didn’t even bother to open a book.

38

The next Saturday, Georgia Steward’s white van with Georgia’s Housekeeping Services painted in red on the side was parked behind Jason’s white Honda. Disappointed, Dawn figured she and Jason would just have to study today. At least they’d be together. Grabbing her book bag, Dawn slid out of her Sable. Mrs. Edwards wasn’t sitting on the porch this morning, but movement in the front curtains told Dawn the old lady was still watching. Annoyed, Dawn went up the steps and tapped at the door, expecting Jason to answer. His mother opened the door. “Hello, Dawn.”

“Hi.” Dawn plastered a smile on her face despite the cool look on Georgia’s. “I’m here to study with Jason.”

“Come in.” Georgia opened the door all the way. The drapes had been pulled back, allowing sunlight to stream in. Jason’s bedroom door was wide-open. She had seen his car in the driveway. Where was he? “Have a seat.” Georgia closed the front door.

Dawn felt her body tense. She put her book bag down and took a seat at the table. “Where’s Jason?”

Georgia sat across from her and folded her hands. “He’s gone for the day.”

“Gone?” Dawn’s heart pounded in alarm. Why hadn’t he called her? She felt increasingly uncomfortable under his mother’s scrutiny.

“He and Pastor Daniel took a little fishing trip. He didn’t know he was going until early this morning.”

Dawn felt the urge to take flight. “I should go then.” She reached for her book bag.

“Not yet.” Georgia’s tone was firmer this time, colder.

Leaving the book bag on the floor, Dawn eased back into the seat, knees trembling beneath the table. “Is something wrong?”

Georgia’s expression turned to one of disdain. “You could say that, couldn’t you?” Her knuckles whitened. “I knew what was going on between the two of you when Jason came home from Jenner. He couldn’t look me in the eye. I watched him sweat for a month and thought maybe the two of you had learned your lesson. And then Mrs. Edwards told me yesterday that you’ve been coming over every Saturday… to study.”

“We do study.”

Georgia reached into her pocket and put a crumpled, empty condom wrapper on the table between them.

Dawn felt all the blood draining from her face. She met Georgia’s glare. “I love him. And he loves me.”

Georgia’s face flushed. Her brown eyes grew hotter. “You don’t know anything about love! You’re a spoiled, self-centered little girl who wants what she wants and wants it now.” She leaned forward. “Your love has single-handedly ruined most of Jason’s chances to escape this trailer park. His grades have dropped. He no longer has the qualifications to get into UC Berkeley-or get a full scholarship to Stanford. He spent most of his savings buying that car so he could take you out. He hardly reads his Bible anymore, and his relationship with God used to be the most important thing in his life!”

Dawn flinched as Georgia stood abruptly and stepped away from the table. After a moment, she continued in a taut, restrained tone. “If you get pregnant, Jason will do the right thing. But I’d like to give you a picture of what your lives will be like if that should happen.” She sat again, more in control, eyes like black ice.

“Jason will have to give up all his dreams of college. He’ll have to find a job to support you and your baby. And what sort of job will he find with only a high school diploma? Minimum wage. Of course, he won’t make enough working nine to five to pay rent on a place as grand as this.” Her eyes swept the room derisively. “So Jason, being Jason, will want to do better. He’ll get a second job, which won’t please you because you’ll never see him. He’ll be working all the time just to keep a roof over your head and food on the table for the three of you. And then there are the utilities and medical expenses. Of course, you’ll be lonely. You’ll carry the full responsibility of taking care of your baby: changing diapers, nursing, getting up at all hours of the night. You’ll be exhausted. You’ll feel overwhelmed. The baby will be your only company. After a while, you’ll get bored sitting around the trailer. When Jason finally does make it home, you’ll complain he’s never around. He’s no fun anymore. He doesn’t make you happy.”

Dawn started to cry.

“Tears don’t work with me, honey.”